BEGGAR?? i am,INDEED...

" Don't beg me coz you're not a BEGGAR~ "

i dont do this begging thing, not that ur eyes cn see. but deep in my heart, and i suppose evry1 too, they are all asking (begging) others to really care about them, too really love them.

" Don't wait for me coz I don't have a waiting list~ "

in other words, you are telling me to go away. CORRECT me if i'm wrong. but i believe its too late now. i'm going now and i'm happy for you. i'm happy for you if you think this is the right thing for you and for me.

" Don't come for as you are LOWER, you won' have me as your SUPERIOR~ "

i'm here, down low. i never want you to be my superior. i just need you to guide me. it just you who keep telling yourself that YOU WANT TO FEEL ON TOP OF THE WORLD, to be a superior. if that's what you really want, now you're getting it from her. and for that, I am happy for you.

" Come and earn me as EQUAL~ "

EQUAL = FAIR.... never ending story huh? we can never be EQUAL= SAME. why you never realise this? its ok. i am really happy for you and her. i will definitely pray for both of you to have a happy ending. Aminnnnn~~

" Won't have you if I still look down on you, COZ I'M AFRAID OF YOU~~~ "

THANK YOU, after more than 3years, now finally you say it. THANK YOU...






***** i am dying. i really am. but the other part of me, i am relieved. I AM. ;D

STUPIDITY~

lalalalala.. dudududuu...

was reading, and came across these interesting lines....

SHARING IS CARING, aite??? hehe..

1
Don't cry for a guy, let a cry guy for you, because girl give and forgive but guys get and forget~

i wish for this 1 to be SO TRUE. haha.. yet we cant really apply this in every relationship aite?? LOL

2
No one falls in love by choice, it is by CHANCE. No one stays in love by chance, it is by WORK. And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by CHOICE.

SO TRUE. 100% agree with this 1. hehe.... CHOICE. so peeps, MAKE UP UR MIND!!! ;p

tats all for now~

.. OCTOBER 2010 ..

hola!

been HIDING for a longgggggggggggggggg time. hehe

no la... busy with Raya, job hunting n etc....

so... what to update?? urm.. i got job already. which the job is SO OUT OF MY FIELD.
but i kinda like it. well, new thing, need to learn, AGAIN....


BE POSITIVE REBUNG!!!!!

my wish and mode at the moment???
1>> i wish i can go out for a walk/jog
2>> i wish i can dance all nyte long
3>> i wish i can be more FIT and HEALTHY and LUCKY. thehehe
4>> i wish i will never gona regret my decision in doing this banking thingy.


so... wat else?? please, dont ask anything about love and boyfriend. huhu.
>>> reminding my ownself. grrrrrrrrr









:: cant wait for my very 1st salary!!! ::

D.O.N.E

yup2, done my theory exam just now...
100 MCQ in 1 and a half hour..
urm,,, it was OKAY laa... not too hard yet not too easy. heh
i'm relieved.
I REALLY AM~~

went to DEMC to meet our physios there.
ouh myyy.. the new hospital is AWESOME!!!!!
and all of them LOSE WEIGHT. like, A LOT!!!
i miss them like soverydamnMUCH!!!! hehe
talk a lot, share a lot. will miss all the moments.

Madam Zu, Miss V, Miss Ira, En. Suhaib, THANK YOU so much for all the help, the guidances, the support, the spirit in loving our profession. I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER ALL OF U.
thank you~

then went to Plaza Alam Sentral.
BAJU RAYA!!! weeeee... tons of it!! gonna buy it maybe tomorrow??? InsyaAllah~~
went for karaoke too. hehe. crazy~
suppose to accompany ratna's sis in concorde for buka puasa, but buka puasa with her guy n her friends instead.

what a sweet coincidence, we're going to the same restaurant where our other classmates will buka puasa. haha
too late to jon the party so stick to the plan, buka puasa with ratna's guy and friends~

a hectic day, yet I had fun. ;)

UNISELIANS, i heart every each 1 of u. thanks for the memories~
SHAH ALAM, will I be to ur city again after this??? hmmmhhhh

...figure & shape...

NADIA >> awak, swimming bgos untuk figure kite ea??? ** u,is swimming is good for our figure??**

LAWI >> yela, ape saye x penah bgtau awak sblom ni? ** yea, like I never told U before?**

NADIA >> then how do u explain the whales??? ;p

LAWI >> they were built in that figure.

NADIA >> so I must be in shape la???

LAWI >> every human should la.thats y ade fitness class and gyms.

NADIA >> ok2, ROUND is a shape too, kan???

LAWI >> yup.. usually it refers to muscles n not lipid fat tho..

NADIA >> ("-.-) =.=!!

... USED vs. LOVED ...

come across this post from my friend's blog. THANKS Min!

**xdenye ak brani nk tampo ko. n i wil pray for u to b a prime minister. LOL. *i will!

friends, do read~

A story of life...

While a man was polishing his new car,
his 4 yr old son picked up a stone
and scratched lines on the side of the car.



In anger, the man took the child’s hand
and hit it many times not realizing
he was using a wrench.

At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers
due to multiple fractures.

When the child saw his father…..
with painful eyes he asked, ‘Dad when will my fingers grow back?’
The man was so hurt and speechless;
he went back to his car and kicked it a lot of times.

Devastated by his own actions….. .
sitting in front of that car he looked at the scratches;
the child had written ‘LOVE YOU DAD’.

Anger and Love have no limits;
choose the latter to have a beautiful, lovely
life & remember this:
Things are to be used and people are to be loved.
The problem in today’s world is
that people are used while things are loved.

Let’s try always to keep this thought in mind:
Things are to be used,
People are to be loved.

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character;
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

you just a kid & u barely know how exactly the WORLD is spinning

i actually upset at this moment..
peoples.. are unpredictable. their heart, mind.
tend to be GOOD in front of us, but behind us?? GOD knows~~

I have to say I AM NO GOOD but I AM NOT THAT BAD.. (well BAD is very subjective~~)
I trust almost nobody. and I have concrete reasons for that. don't blame me.

so let me start..
get to know an innocent girl 1 year back. a freshie.
help her by showing her around our place in Shah Alam n etc.
advised her on how to run a proper life in this new place.we're quit close at 1st.
i help her with study, assignments, test...

after few months, she's joining a group.
and she started to change.
trying to be just like other people in the group.
she bcomes such a rude, selfish, arrogant (MISS PERFECTO WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING)~~
erm.. i just say that she bcome a LOSER and POSER. sorry kid.

for the last few months we're not really talking to each other due to some personal issues.
and I'm the kind who dont give a SH%& to people who talking behind my back. but when it comes to my ear from a very convincing sources/peoples, U'l see my true colors.

few nights ago a friend asked, do i realized that THE GIRL has changed?
well,sure i did. so that friend tells me 1 after 1 thing that THE GIRL said behind my back.
i'm shocked, PISSED OFF!! grrr

1>> betul ke kak nad tu royalty??
2>> if betul, kenapa umah dia biasa2 je??
3>> betul ke kak nad tu pandai sangat??

and some other stuff too.

well dear, my answers would be;

1>> my 1st name should tell you EVERYTHING. ouh.. mayb u r TOO STU#@& to see it. and if i'm not pun, apa kau nak sibuk kan?? duhhh..
2>> alahaiiii... okay, i'm living in a double storeys house, a corner lot. ouh, and my PARENTS own IT. and u know what, for details, DO COME OVER and see it with your own EYES. u r WELCOME to my HEAVEN. ;D
3>> am I that clever??? what a stupid question. WHO HELPED u in ur study for the past 1 year? wanna see my result slip? or my SPM certificate? okay, i admit, I AM NOT THAT BRIGHT but.. I AM 10x CLEVER THAN YOU. and u know that kiddo. loserrrr~~

haishh.. adik, i've been patient for almost 5months now.
but what u said behind my back, thats really hurts. ur lucky that i'm FAR here. if not...

here what i want to say, (IT HARSH, but its FACTS) accept it.

1>> r u now living in ur parents house? or it just ur dad's?
2>> the money u have, is it all yours?
3>> do u have FRIENDS???
4>> when are you going to LEARN??

dik, akak tau akak pn ade silap but akak xpnah m'aibkan adik.
kekayaan and ksenangan adik bkn milik adik, tp milik adik2 tiri adik. tolong sedar.
jgn nak kutuk orang, cermin diri tu.
at least kn dik, akak x batak jantan, and x jakun naik kete import.
ouh.. maybe adik xtau, ayah akak hanya bawak BMW, Mercedes and Volvo.
akak tak penah bangga dgn nama yang akak ada, akak b'syukur di lahirkan bertuah.
ape la ade pd nama if dada ni KOSONG dik? nama tu x kmane.. mcm kkayaan jgk. kaya tp bodoh, mcmane nk maintain kaya kn?
n dgr kate adik nk stop blaja kt sana sbb dpt tawaran lg bgus ( bgosla klau btol), kt tmpt bru tu nanti, bwk2la brubah and sedar diri ye?
paling penting, mulut tu jage, bg wangi sikit. muke cantik tp mulut busuk, x gune dik oi.
awak muda lg,so jgn la b'lagak dgn akak2 and abang2 yg ada skrg. jgn smpai ktorg benci.
semua org pn da mnyampah dgn sikap prasan bgos, prasan pandai adik tu.
u have to accept that u cant compare urself with us, ur NOBODY.
so mould a new character and attitude, a GOOD 1. and u'll be FINE.

INSYA'ALLAH~~


ikhlas....

14 APRIL 2010

hehe..me very the gewdixx at the moment. CANT HELP IT!! ha ha

act,I'm kinda worry...about him going for his training later on June.
this GF,the KUAT JELES 1 keep thinking that;
**he might forget about me.
**he might repeat the same mistake he did (lied 2me cz afraid that i will get upset n worry like DA&* crazy)
**he might find some1 better than me. ( and obviously,sure ADA la kan? sob3 )

he fetched me from the hospital this evening.then we had dinner together.
so i took that chance to tell him bout my worries. AS ALL ABOVE~~

and like always he m'bebel about the famous OLD ME..... BUT
then he smile and said, "saya pergi training,so THATS IT,nak kerja dah lepas tu kan.."..

and me?? a bit LEGA laaa... just a bit. heheh

after that he took me for a ride,jalan2 je.
in the car he hold my hand and said, 'saya sayang awak, Nadia'..
n i was like... SUKE3!!!!!
i appreciate it dear. i know its hard for u to really say those 3words.
n for today,i keep it in this blog.

wish this would last.
wish we get thru all obstacles n finally be 2geta.

AMINN~~~

APRIL '10

hye~~~
yeah2..i didnt update my blog for a longggggggggggggg time.
too bz+ lazinesss~~~

so..
let jz say..
life have been OKAY,so far.
sure theres many problems tho.like owez (financial probs,friendship,love life,family,WORK)...
i just dont have the idea on how to put it all down...

FINANCIAL
***there is HUGE increase (rent) in my so called 2nd home in shah alam (triple than usual) !!! due to PAIP BOCOR~~~
***need lotsa money this month since its my final months here in shah alam and DEMC. need to buy SOMETHING for those in our department. ("-.-)

FRIENDSHIP
***met many of my primary n highschool classmates, HAPPY!!!!! (even thru FB.hehehe)

LOVE LIFE
***going SMOOTH....going nice and steady with the flow.
*** in <3 (^^,)

FAMILY
***those in JB miss me so much.hahah! i miss them too. LIKE CRAAAAAAAAAAAAZY!!!
***wishing this would last FOREVER~~~

WORK
***final week in DEMC. (shud be ended on April 16)
***have to replace 4days due to MC's,so i'll only goin back to JB after 20. **sob3**


so...WHAT ELSE?????

ouh.....its APRIL okay??
i mean, APRIL.
GOT IT??
thehehehehehehe


mode>> SO DAMN EXCITED

WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN"T LOOKING~~~

When you thought I wasn't looking
I saw you hang my 1st painting on the refrigerator,
and I immediately wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn't looking
I saw you feed a stray cat,
and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking
I saw you make my favorite cake for me,
and I learned that the little things can be the special things in life.

When you thought I wasn't looking
I heard you say a prayers,
and I knew there is a GOD I could always talk to,
and I learned to trust in HIM.

When you thought I wasn't looking
I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick,
and I learned that we all have to help to take care of each other.

When you thought I wasn't looking
I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it,
and I learned we have to take care of what we are given.

When you thought I wasn't looking
I saw how you handled your responsibilities,
even when you didn't feel good,
and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking
I saw tears come from your eyes,
and I learned that sometimes things hurt,
but it's alright to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking
I saw that you cared,
and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking
I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know
to be a good and productive person when i grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking
I looked at you and wanted to say,
"THANKS FOR ALL THE THINGS I SAW WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING."

~~ sunday morning ~~

good morning~~

hmmhh..i'm fine. i mean,physically GOOD,maybe GREAT?? huhu
but..emotionally..NOT VERY~~

going to work in a bit.


yeah~~ i'm working on sunday,didnt i mentioned before??

WORK~~!!

that's make me focus on 1 thing only.nothing else..just work..

so....b strong REBUNG! b GOOD!!!

to EVERYONE>> have a nice weekend!! **wink2**

>>>>> here i m, AGAIN~~~

ok..i did say i'm not gona write ABOUT LOVE..ok,i have to cancel dat 1.
i loves bein in love.i hate being on my own.
it just ME.SELFISH me~~

how shud i put it down in words?
i broke up wit d last guy,last dec.
found out that i just cant stand him. NO CHEMISTRY.

ouh..wat i learn from that r'ship is, i need:
>> an educated guy
>> a confident and hardworking guy
>> honest
>> most importantly, LOVE me n ACCEPT me.

cut it SHORT, after sometime breaking up wit d latest guy,i get in touch wit my ex,d 1 dats suppose 2noe me by heart....

its not easy..after some complicated issues n STUPID acts done,we somehow getting back together.

i must say i did think of wat people might say about THIS behind my back, u know, i dump him, then come back to him.n all that stuff~~~

n of coz,his feelings.he saw me walk to another guy n now i'm walking to him.i understand that.
I AM,REALLY....

but i remains silent,refuse to think about it,refuse to talk about it coz i dint do it on purpose or bcoz i want it.

IT IS NOT THAT!

i just dont to talk about it cz i thought he undrstand that those things come from him too.
i've walk away, FOR REAL! n i came back.

1>> he know i love him so damn much.he saw all sacrifation i'v done.
2>> he keep questioning my social life (wher i obviously get IT under control)
3>> i walk away coz he WANTED TO BE THE OLD ME. 'being FAIR'. dats wat he wants.
4>> i came back coz i hv no 1 to trust,to share everthing with, to understand except him.and he know that very well.

but idk.me,myself...SELFISH??CHEAP??SLUT??PIECE OF SHIT??

idk...


I REALLY DON'T... T.T

If I changed my mind,
if I changed my faith,
every time a stop light signaled
each time I made mistakes
I don't think that I
would be where I am today
I live my life without regrets
what you see is
what you see is what you get
And I'm

Unashamed of the life I lead
unashamed of the strength on my knees
of choices I've made,
of the love that I've saved
of the things I've done,
my belief in the One
Unashamed of the words of my friends,
i know who they are
make mistakes, make amends
follow my instincts, my star
on my sleeve i wear my heart
unashamed

Adding up my life, it totals all my dreams
I'm counting all my blessings
and the gifts I have received
Still there's always someone
something to overcome
Took all my life to understand
that I am what I am, who I am
unashamed

(Do you)
do you wanna know how it goes?
Do you wanna control how I feel?
Do you wanna stay in my life?
Then listen here, and listen good,
you got to get it,
got to get it right!
I'M Unashamed

(say what you want)

~~ i have a PRIVACY concern ~~

just deleted my Facebook, Friendster, and Myspace Acc...
reason??? as in this POST title.

i d k wat to do
wat to think
wat shud i feel

selfish?
cheap?
too friendly?
daring?
not sensitive?

darn it! tears go away. please~~

juz a lil clue on hw i'm actually feel...

Share my life, take me for what I am
Coz I'll never change all my colors for you
Take my love, I'll never ask for too much
Just all that you are and everything that you do

You see through, right to the heart of me
You break down my walls with the strength of your love
I never knew love like I've known it with you
Will a memory survive, one I can hold on to?

I don't really need to look very much further
I don't want to have to go where you don't follow
I won't hold it back again, this passion inside
I Can't run from myself
There's nowhere to hide
Your love I'll remember, forever

Well,don't make me close one more door
I don't wanna hurt anymore
Stay in my arms if you dare
Or must I imagine you there
Don't walk away from me no...
Don't walk away from me
Don't you dare walk away from me
I have nothing, nothing, nothing
If I don't have you
Thank you, thank you very much!


***reactivated my FACEBOOK~~

...PIECES of LIFE...

duno wher to start..
i miss HOME

miss them




want to back to JB... TT

ouh, last week LAWI n me went to Kuala S'gor (got the chance to see his high school, KUSESS)


then we went tu Bukit Malawati



n then, I CITY


dats all 4 diz post~~

**** BEDRIDDEN *****

yeah2..i'm sick... AGAIN...

wats with my IMMUNE laa???? never been sick like this. i mean, keep having this fever and stuff..

and lasnyte, thats the worst. SO FAR....

after lunch, taking nap in the physiotherapy ward for like 50 mins, woke up n i can feel my heart beats is extremely SO FAST!! then i felt some kind pain on both of my palm plus i'm shivering..

duhhh.. i need my hand to perform percussion OK!! huhu
yet i manage to overcome the pain after taking painkiller...i hv to ok.. sob3

then went back home.. n my head spin like..hurm.. u spin my head right round round round when u go down when u go down down. eh..bukan2. i mean migrain. huhu

suddenly my body heating like i'm on a BBQ rod. dammit. n my back.. goddddd...

i got pain right from my back down to my thigh i cant barely get up from my bed.

what did i do then??
**change my clothes on my bed, put on sweater
**call MAK, cried like a lil baby (its painful ok, i mean my backpain.never having such pain!)
**call lawi ask him if he free yet he's not (but justnw he came n brought me to clinic)

cut it short, i'm fine now. the back pain is somehow "GONE". 4ever i hope. please10!!!
migrain?? decreasing..alhamdulillah...
fever??guess i'l b completely healthy by 2moro (I"M A GOOD AND STRONG GIRL >>girl ke??hik3<< I SUPPOSE)

ow... i skip my work today. huhu

*** sorry miss fira n miss vithya.. really sorry.. ***




thats all 4 now. chaO~~~

~ wedding (abang An+ kak Yati) & KLCC (wit Lawi) ~

so SELAMAT PENGANTIN BARU abang An (he's ratna bro) ;)

went to reception on ratna's family..

the weddding took place in PALACE OF JUSTICE at PUTRAJAYA.

since i'm kind of cam whore..so..


wit Att n Eila


wit mr.Mutawalli


striking a pose. lol lol lol

NEXT??? went to KLCC. watching OLD DOGS. hilariously FUNNY!!! haha..

a great weekend..(still..mind the raise in registeration fees>> UNISEL S&*%S!!!!) huhu


goody2 2shoo ME. hehe


told ya i'm GAINING (look at those cheeks) huhu


fat fat fat!!!

Abah and Mak!

i miss them. seriously. more than ever. worry about them. i d k y...

i didnt go back to JB like more than 2months. abah keep calling n askin me to come back to JB. but i said i cant, due to my part time job b4 my class starts next week (17th Aug)..

n there's some personal conflict that i had this past few months... i just dont have the guts to go back to JB. i rather stay here n finish my school 1st. then i wil go back to JB n bring my DIPLOMA. so my parents wil b happy. thats my plan. but now.. i d k..

abah text me yesterday, "abah d hospital, buat radiotherapy yang 1st out of 25sessions,kena buat tiap2 hari"

then i call, abah with mak. he's driving on his own to the hospital. i cried. if only i'm in JB.. my sis bz with her job. my bro din have the license yet...
n abah also said, Mak's blood pressure is high its 205 over 90. i wuz like, WHAT??????!!! dat is DAMN high. normal is 120 over 80. i didnt talk to mak for 2months also, merajuk i muz say. n now i really want to talk to her, i'm so worry. but i d k wat to say so i said to abah, "kirim salam mak, cakap kat mak jgn tension2". dats it. i d k wat more to say... ='(

after that i end up crying for the whole nyte. i d k wat to do. half hearted. i want to go home, but my ego said "NO". i really dunno wat to do.

i'm so sad. no. i'm really2 sad... =(

Mak Abah, Dya minta maaf lame tak balik. taknak susakn abah. n taknak buat mak risau. Dya ok kat sini. Dya blaja elok2, Dya janji. Dya janji akan buat Mak Abah bangga dengan Dya. Dya janji takkan kecewakan Mak Abah. Dya janji. Dya minta maaf if ada klakuan Dya buat Mak Abah kecil hati. Dya minta maaf. harap Mak Abah doakn kjayaan Dya slalu. Dya doakn Mak Abah sehat sentiasa. aminnnn..

LOAN>>HOLD?????!!!

yup.. my loan is been hold. dammit...

coz of this onestupiddocument..

so i went to damansara, sign some doc n they say the money wil come in a bit. early october.

IN A BIT>>> EARLY OCTOBER???? wut da hell on earth??

i need money!! give me the money laa!!!!!!


sad (>.<)!!!!!

THE PROPOSAL

wat a weekend..

i didnt see him for a week. bored like hell.

til dat saturday nyte he text me n ask me to get ready for tomorrow. A DATE!! weeeee.. =p

i miss him. i'm excited til i didnt sleep dat nyte. LOL!! yet fall asleep at 5am. ngeee

so the day is here!!
woke up at 9am... mandi manda..
and he arrived at 11.30am (an hour and half LATE)..

we went to stadium melawati for the bazar..
then to bukit tinggi, wathing THE PROPOSAL!!! =)

mannnnnnn... its hilarious!! i swear. its all ther. comedy, romance, action. GREAT!!

i love it!!!

so thats my weekend.. =)

.... break ....

its Unisel semester break, going to register for the new term on august 12-14...

work... i'm doing okay. yeah its a tough job yet since i need money so i'm willing to do it as long as it didnt put myself in trouble. =)

ouh..btw, my boss is a chinese. she always ask me, "r u tired? go take 5 laa.. then get back to work!" ngaaaaaaaaa...
she said, nowadays everybody wants lotsa money. she's right. and she also said, you want money you have to work hard, play hard. if you work but you dont feel tired, you'll get money but you'll never get rich.

THINK THINK THINK


p/s.. BILE LOAN NAK MASOK????!!!