BEGGAR?? i am,INDEED...

" Don't beg me coz you're not a BEGGAR~ "

i dont do this begging thing, not that ur eyes cn see. but deep in my heart, and i suppose evry1 too, they are all asking (begging) others to really care about them, too really love them.

" Don't wait for me coz I don't have a waiting list~ "

in other words, you are telling me to go away. CORRECT me if i'm wrong. but i believe its too late now. i'm going now and i'm happy for you. i'm happy for you if you think this is the right thing for you and for me.

" Don't come for as you are LOWER, you won' have me as your SUPERIOR~ "

i'm here, down low. i never want you to be my superior. i just need you to guide me. it just you who keep telling yourself that YOU WANT TO FEEL ON TOP OF THE WORLD, to be a superior. if that's what you really want, now you're getting it from her. and for that, I am happy for you.

" Come and earn me as EQUAL~ "

EQUAL = FAIR.... never ending story huh? we can never be EQUAL= SAME. why you never realise this? its ok. i am really happy for you and her. i will definitely pray for both of you to have a happy ending. Aminnnnn~~

" Won't have you if I still look down on you, COZ I'M AFRAID OF YOU~~~ "

THANK YOU, after more than 3years, now finally you say it. THANK YOU...






***** i am dying. i really am. but the other part of me, i am relieved. I AM. ;D

... DANCE ....

ouh my GUCCI!!!

i don't dance already, pity me. **sobs**
i miss it.
well i'm getting fatter and heavier everyday~~~
ouh, my balance, getting worse i think.
i need that STEPS. huhuhu

ouh, watch this guys!!! i can only feel satisfied in dancing thingy when i can do something like this???? thehehehehehe... AMAZING~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

M.E.R.D.E.K.A

hype!! a long time huh??? i mean, since the last time i'm blogging. LOL

really10000 busy. with clinical training~~

ouh.. i have COMPLETE my 30weeks of training!!!

and just did my practical exam yesterday.

guess what??? MERDEKA means A LOT to me now. heheh

hows the practical exam???

went OKAY la.. **can't bluff laaaa.. show off

ngeeeeee~~

my feeling at the moment??? a bit relief~

yet have reports, logbooks and case studies to work on.

when i settle all 3, HEAD OVER HILL!!!!

yieeehhhhaaaaaaaaaaa~~~

so, do pray for me ya i really do appreciate it. SO MUCH!

THANKSSS!!!!

...figure & shape...

NADIA >> awak, swimming bgos untuk figure kite ea??? ** u,is swimming is good for our figure??**

LAWI >> yela, ape saye x penah bgtau awak sblom ni? ** yea, like I never told U before?**

NADIA >> then how do u explain the whales??? ;p

LAWI >> they were built in that figure.

NADIA >> so I must be in shape la???

LAWI >> every human should la.thats y ade fitness class and gyms.

NADIA >> ok2, ROUND is a shape too, kan???

LAWI >> yup.. usually it refers to muscles n not lipid fat tho..

NADIA >> ("-.-) =.=!!

14 APRIL 2010

hehe..me very the gewdixx at the moment. CANT HELP IT!! ha ha

act,I'm kinda worry...about him going for his training later on June.
this GF,the KUAT JELES 1 keep thinking that;
**he might forget about me.
**he might repeat the same mistake he did (lied 2me cz afraid that i will get upset n worry like DA&* crazy)
**he might find some1 better than me. ( and obviously,sure ADA la kan? sob3 )

he fetched me from the hospital this evening.then we had dinner together.
so i took that chance to tell him bout my worries. AS ALL ABOVE~~

and like always he m'bebel about the famous OLD ME..... BUT
then he smile and said, "saya pergi training,so THATS IT,nak kerja dah lepas tu kan.."..

and me?? a bit LEGA laaa... just a bit. heheh

after that he took me for a ride,jalan2 je.
in the car he hold my hand and said, 'saya sayang awak, Nadia'..
n i was like... SUKE3!!!!!
i appreciate it dear. i know its hard for u to really say those 3words.
n for today,i keep it in this blog.

wish this would last.
wish we get thru all obstacles n finally be 2geta.

AMINN~~~

~~ ???? ~~

CLUELESS~~~~

idk wat to think..
i have no 1..
no 1...

i'm so LONELY~~

desperate??idk..

y is it so hard?
how to make things right??

i'm dying...
yeah..this feeling makes me dying..

u dont want me,u want me
u love me,u hate me
u said 1'm d only 1,u said u just cant

i'm already GONE..did i??
but i've came back.

u still there,right?
or is it wrong?

so wat should i do?
wat should i say?
wat do u want?

FAIR~~

u keep saying about that.
wats wrong wit u??y dont u understand?y is it so HARD???

i dont ask much..
i hope u'l bring a BETTER FUTURE in my life..
i dont want to FALL on my face AGAIN..

if u want to go,please go.for REAL.

i never promise u that i'l change like u did,n u lied.
i nvr promise anything,but i'd try my best to b better but somehow u changed too.to some1 else n u said bcoz u want to b FAIR.
wth is that??

REVENGE??
dont u know wat i'v gone thru?
wat i really feel?
yes..idk yours too.
but wat u do now,its killing me.

should i say THANKS to u?
can i ask for MORE of it?

and...


ARE U HAPPY DOING ALL THIS???
SATISFY maybe???


in my past,i FALL like trillions times (u know the whole story)..
n i know its bcoz me my stupid belief n ego n everything.
then i found u,lost u,came back to u,away from u,giving chance 2u,GONE,came back..

n u?wanted to b FAIR?
dont u ever think that u DOUBLEing my PAIN just bcoz u want to b fair??
wat do u get from doing all that??wat shud i think of u?
hw cn i trust u?depend on u?look up to u?

HOW???

~~ sunday morning ~~

good morning~~

hmmhh..i'm fine. i mean,physically GOOD,maybe GREAT?? huhu
but..emotionally..NOT VERY~~

going to work in a bit.


yeah~~ i'm working on sunday,didnt i mentioned before??

WORK~~!!

that's make me focus on 1 thing only.nothing else..just work..

so....b strong REBUNG! b GOOD!!!

to EVERYONE>> have a nice weekend!! **wink2**

>>>>> here i m, AGAIN~~~

ok..i did say i'm not gona write ABOUT LOVE..ok,i have to cancel dat 1.
i loves bein in love.i hate being on my own.
it just ME.SELFISH me~~

how shud i put it down in words?
i broke up wit d last guy,last dec.
found out that i just cant stand him. NO CHEMISTRY.

ouh..wat i learn from that r'ship is, i need:
>> an educated guy
>> a confident and hardworking guy
>> honest
>> most importantly, LOVE me n ACCEPT me.

cut it SHORT, after sometime breaking up wit d latest guy,i get in touch wit my ex,d 1 dats suppose 2noe me by heart....

its not easy..after some complicated issues n STUPID acts done,we somehow getting back together.

i must say i did think of wat people might say about THIS behind my back, u know, i dump him, then come back to him.n all that stuff~~~

n of coz,his feelings.he saw me walk to another guy n now i'm walking to him.i understand that.
I AM,REALLY....

but i remains silent,refuse to think about it,refuse to talk about it coz i dint do it on purpose or bcoz i want it.

IT IS NOT THAT!

i just dont to talk about it cz i thought he undrstand that those things come from him too.
i've walk away, FOR REAL! n i came back.

1>> he know i love him so damn much.he saw all sacrifation i'v done.
2>> he keep questioning my social life (wher i obviously get IT under control)
3>> i walk away coz he WANTED TO BE THE OLD ME. 'being FAIR'. dats wat he wants.
4>> i came back coz i hv no 1 to trust,to share everthing with, to understand except him.and he know that very well.

but idk.me,myself...SELFISH??CHEAP??SLUT??PIECE OF SHIT??

idk...


I REALLY DON'T... T.T

If I changed my mind,
if I changed my faith,
every time a stop light signaled
each time I made mistakes
I don't think that I
would be where I am today
I live my life without regrets
what you see is
what you see is what you get
And I'm

Unashamed of the life I lead
unashamed of the strength on my knees
of choices I've made,
of the love that I've saved
of the things I've done,
my belief in the One
Unashamed of the words of my friends,
i know who they are
make mistakes, make amends
follow my instincts, my star
on my sleeve i wear my heart
unashamed

Adding up my life, it totals all my dreams
I'm counting all my blessings
and the gifts I have received
Still there's always someone
something to overcome
Took all my life to understand
that I am what I am, who I am
unashamed

(Do you)
do you wanna know how it goes?
Do you wanna control how I feel?
Do you wanna stay in my life?
Then listen here, and listen good,
you got to get it,
got to get it right!
I'M Unashamed

(say what you want)

~~ i have a PRIVACY concern ~~

just deleted my Facebook, Friendster, and Myspace Acc...
reason??? as in this POST title.

i d k wat to do
wat to think
wat shud i feel

selfish?
cheap?
too friendly?
daring?
not sensitive?

darn it! tears go away. please~~

juz a lil clue on hw i'm actually feel...

Share my life, take me for what I am
Coz I'll never change all my colors for you
Take my love, I'll never ask for too much
Just all that you are and everything that you do

You see through, right to the heart of me
You break down my walls with the strength of your love
I never knew love like I've known it with you
Will a memory survive, one I can hold on to?

I don't really need to look very much further
I don't want to have to go where you don't follow
I won't hold it back again, this passion inside
I Can't run from myself
There's nowhere to hide
Your love I'll remember, forever

Well,don't make me close one more door
I don't wanna hurt anymore
Stay in my arms if you dare
Or must I imagine you there
Don't walk away from me no...
Don't walk away from me
Don't you dare walk away from me
I have nothing, nothing, nothing
If I don't have you
Thank you, thank you very much!


***reactivated my FACEBOOK~~

february.....

hype!!!

ow...due to that dengue fever, i skipped 2weeks of my clinical training session.
>>> i have to replace 10days from 14days MC n i'm on it.
worse, i'm doing my 2nd training session at the same place n the Head of Department wants us to work 6 DAYS A WEEK! i'v replaced 5 days, n for the next 5weeks, i'l b working 24/7.

great~~~


but i must say i'm okay with it..PLEASURE~~


other story, i've met the most crazy BIATCH ever n she used 2b some1 really close,some1 that i trust.
she turn outto b an IBLIS~~ bye BIG SIS aka JAHANAM refugee~~


wat more?? ouh.. in some place wher i call 2nd home, i'm a BLACK SHEEP.hard to explain.easier wen i said i rather b away than staying in.dont want to lose my head n drown~~ down~~~
i rather remain silent than making TROUBLE like those BIATCHES made.
like always...BUZZ OFF!!!


last but not least, its February. hehe~~

~ wedding (abang An+ kak Yati) & KLCC (wit Lawi) ~

so SELAMAT PENGANTIN BARU abang An (he's ratna bro) ;)

went to reception on ratna's family..

the weddding took place in PALACE OF JUSTICE at PUTRAJAYA.

since i'm kind of cam whore..so..


wit Att n Eila


wit mr.Mutawalli


striking a pose. lol lol lol

NEXT??? went to KLCC. watching OLD DOGS. hilariously FUNNY!!! haha..

a great weekend..(still..mind the raise in registeration fees>> UNISEL S&*%S!!!!) huhu


goody2 2shoo ME. hehe


told ya i'm GAINING (look at those cheeks) huhu


fat fat fat!!!

>>> CLINICAL TRAINING!!! <<<

yes! i'm doing my very 1st clinical training!!

so the details will b;
>> focus on musculoskeletal and cardiorespiratory
>> doing it in Physiotherapy Department,Darul Ehsan Medical Centre,Shah Alam
>> together with Nur Adiratna and Muhd Akmal
>> 1st session will b only 6weeks.


so wish me luck!!!



**wink2**

MYSELF...

1st Ramadhan... again. Alhamdulillah.. =)

but i cry a lot, starting from habis tarawikh til asar tadi. hehe...

let u go.. let me go. wil we do it? i mean, for real?? its not easy. never will.. i d k..

me..
i never end up wit some1 i like. but whoever willing to stay, to love, to care, to protect me, then i'l stay with him...

me..
emotional.... kuat merajuk. kuat jealous..

me..
willing to listen to whatever her love 1 need to say.

me..
doesn't like to b alone. never want to b alone.

me..
doesn't like to b ignore n hanging on something where ther is no concrete reason or answer..

me..
wil b COMPLETELY crazy wenever she emotional. she willing to say the most dirtiest thing on earth but she'll recover soon after she let everything out of her chest..

me..
quite a good drama queen... wil say dat she'll harm herself just to keep some1 she love, to keep him stay..


now she's on her own again. falling again. with no 1 lend her a hand.

to u.. i do love. wish i can get over u..

to some1 out there, my savior (maybe??).. this is me.

i'm sorry..

Abah and Mak!

i miss them. seriously. more than ever. worry about them. i d k y...

i didnt go back to JB like more than 2months. abah keep calling n askin me to come back to JB. but i said i cant, due to my part time job b4 my class starts next week (17th Aug)..

n there's some personal conflict that i had this past few months... i just dont have the guts to go back to JB. i rather stay here n finish my school 1st. then i wil go back to JB n bring my DIPLOMA. so my parents wil b happy. thats my plan. but now.. i d k..

abah text me yesterday, "abah d hospital, buat radiotherapy yang 1st out of 25sessions,kena buat tiap2 hari"

then i call, abah with mak. he's driving on his own to the hospital. i cried. if only i'm in JB.. my sis bz with her job. my bro din have the license yet...
n abah also said, Mak's blood pressure is high its 205 over 90. i wuz like, WHAT??????!!! dat is DAMN high. normal is 120 over 80. i didnt talk to mak for 2months also, merajuk i muz say. n now i really want to talk to her, i'm so worry. but i d k wat to say so i said to abah, "kirim salam mak, cakap kat mak jgn tension2". dats it. i d k wat more to say... ='(

after that i end up crying for the whole nyte. i d k wat to do. half hearted. i want to go home, but my ego said "NO". i really dunno wat to do.

i'm so sad. no. i'm really2 sad... =(

Mak Abah, Dya minta maaf lame tak balik. taknak susakn abah. n taknak buat mak risau. Dya ok kat sini. Dya blaja elok2, Dya janji. Dya janji akan buat Mak Abah bangga dengan Dya. Dya janji takkan kecewakan Mak Abah. Dya janji. Dya minta maaf if ada klakuan Dya buat Mak Abah kecil hati. Dya minta maaf. harap Mak Abah doakn kjayaan Dya slalu. Dya doakn Mak Abah sehat sentiasa. aminnnn..

.. UPS and DOWNS ..

in a fight, broke up and like always, we get back together.. AGAIN.

yup. wenever we get in a fight, we end up maki2, n blaming each other. telling ourself, 'THATS IT!!' not going to get back or give u another chance. u know? the EMO me... =)

ouh this time, i thought he got another girl, too afraid that he'll 'kantoi' so he digging up the past & put all the blame on me. i was like "Y ALL THE SUDDEN U GET UPSET? PMS?". after few days, went to see his click, IZ. from Iz i got to know that he actually jealous. DAMMIT!! is it so hard to say that ur jealous????

thats him. always make things complicated.

then i met him, dinner, talk, heart to heart. EASY isnt it? just tell me la sayang, jangan tibe2 nak ngamok, mngalahkan saya PMS.



p/s.. Y after all i've been through, all the pain, I still get back with him? FAITH. coz i have faith in him.

i love you...

its for you, FRIEND....

personal issues>>> DRAMAS!!!

here's the TRUTH, this is what i think about BEING a FRIEND..

"Friendship is always a sweet responsibilty, never an oppourtunity."
- Kahil Gibran

"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow.
Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.
Walk beside me and be my friend."
- Albert Camus

"Strangers are just friends waiting to happen." – Steve

"I can trust my friends. These people force me to examine, encourage me to grow."
-Cher

"I can doubt my friends, but I can believe in our friendship."

"You are you and I am I,
You do your thing and I'll do mine,
and if in the end we meet up together,
it is beautiful."
-Boy Meets World

and this is what i'm expecting FRIENDS should be and should DO..

"Best friends are like diamonds, precious and rare
False friends are like leaves, found everywhere."
- Anoymous

"Everyone is a friend, until they prove otherwise."

"Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them to become what they are capable of being."
-Goethe

i hope YOU (my friends) can truly and sincerely accept ME as ur FRIEND. and i have to say dat i agree with this, hope u will too..

"Love doesn't make the world go round, it makes the ride worthwhile." -F.P. Jones

"All our young lives we search for someone to love, someone who makes us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope, all the while wondering if somewhere and somehow there is someone searching for us."
-The Wonder Years

"We laughed
until we had to cry.
We gave love,
right down to our last goodbye.
We were the best
we thought we'd ever be
Just you and me,
for just a moment...

"You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back."
-Barbara DeAngelis

last but not least......

"My wish upon this shooting star is that your heart be happy."
-Gilbert

"IF YOU TREAT YOUR FRIEND AS THEY SHOULD BE, THEY WILL BECOME ONE OF THE CROWD. IF YOU TREAT YOUR FRIEND AS THEY OUGHT TO BE TREATED, THEY WILL BECOME AN INDIVIDUAL."

Having FUN!!!

the view of Tasik Shah Alam









with Mutawalli at Jusco Bukit Tinggi watching TRANSFORMERS

23rd of June '09

... TRAINER or MOTIVATOR?? ...

just got back from camping (3days and 2nights)..
at Sungai Congkak, Selangor. being a trainer (there's 5 of us me, Shuq aka Ekang, Mazni aka Putih, Muz aka Kechik, Wan).
117 students from MGS, (yeah.. they're all girls, from form 1 til 5)

well i expect things going to be tough, u know, girls... fiuhhh...
but guess i'm wrong, they're okay. not that bad. some of themis too hard for me to handle. but over all, i'm fine and i guess they're fine. yeah, i made some of them cried. its fun!!! haha.
sorry... i'm dOing my jOb.

and i'm really tired. i'm the only girl (trainer), the other 3 is the (motivator), so i'm doing so many hard work. gOshhh... (penat gilerrrrrr!!!!), not enough sleep, not even have time to eat. well i did some of the motivator work, i gave them a moral talk. so they did see the other part of me, the "baik" 1 (cause i can't raise my voice, no cursing n stuff. just advise and a little threats , so.. i did just okay..).

ouh.. ya.. meet new friends again!!



lin+me+liza


kak Shuq+kak Kechik

didn't really take pixx, didn't get the chance. so.. thats all for now.
i had a good weekend!!

ouh.. now i'm wOndering, i'm better in training people or in motivating people... which 1 should i be in the next camp??

... move on ...

my status>> SINGLE & SWINGER. lols

yup, its true and i'm pretty sure that its really over now. i really don't want him anymore and i already start seeing another guy.

"a week, and thats it??"

well, yeah, the sooner the better.
i can't stand the pain and i can't stand being alone.
u can call me whatever u want, BITCH, SLUT, CHEAP or whatsoever. i don't give a damn. why?? cause you're not my guy, you're NOBODY. so i'm okay with it. =)

p/s>> I'VE TOLD YOU,IF I'M STARTING SEEING ANOTHER GUY, IT MEANS THERE IS NO TURNING BACK. SO, LETS MOVE ON AND BEYOND!!! =)

... PUBLIC SPEAKING AND MIMI!!! ...

1>> me, 2>>ugly me, again, 3>> with mr.AZRUL 4>> MIMIE!!!!!