. . . The Sad Part . . .

it really took time to write huh?? huhu..

hurm... this what happen on monday, 16 of march..

i woke up at around 12p.m.. what?? i'm tired okay??!! huhu..
well of course my guy waking me up, he called. "awak mesti belum bangun kan? aihhhh.. saya baru habis kelas, saya nak tidur jap, pukul 2 p.m ada kelas, awak pun kan? saya nak tidur jap k."
i said, "ok.." well, i hope he ask me to go out for lunch, then he can ask me what happen yesterday between me and her lil sis, but he seems like... I D K....

then, i go to class ( Cardiorespiratory 2) <<> the class at 2 p.m. i text him around 1.30pm, remind him about his class, then he reply, "class cancel..". owh ok. i said, "ok, awak penat lagi? rehatlah.. if lapar pergi makan dulu. if nak tunggu saya, saya habis pukul 4." then.... he said nothing.
i finish the class around 3.40p.m, went to the faculty to meet my lecturer ( Mr. Sharikh ) to ask the details of my clinical training this coming May until September. and then... its 4 p.m.. i call him, wanted to ask him to go for our late lunch.

REBUNG>> awak tidur lagi? nak pergi makan tak?

HIM>> tidur lagi.. tak nak.

REBUNG>> ouh ok. bye.

(tut..tut..tuttttttttt)

okay.. i'm kind of sad. i'm starving to death. yes, i can go on my own. it just.. i want to meet him. talk to him. (i wish he ask me what happen yesterday when i'm with his lil sis, what did she tell me, what did i told her and etc. u knOw?) hmmmhhhh... he seems like, he don't give a damn about it. (it makes me angry, its like, "ntah2 aku ni perempuan ke berapa la dia bawa jumpe adik dia nih. aku je syok sendiri, excited jumpe adik2 dia, tapi dia?????!!!!!" ='(

LOVE SUCKS!!!!!

i went home, hoping he call me. 5 p.m.. 6 p.m.. i fall asleep.. << still didn't eat =(

... 7 p.m, he called. i'm awake, but i didn't pick up (protest!!). 1 missed call. that's it. once????

a message came in...

>> saya nak pergi Tesco dengan Radhi. awak dah makan belum? <<

>> pergilah. belum, its ok, i got biscuits.. <<

i hope he reply, >> jom lah ikut sekali, kita makan kat sana. <<

>> takpela, saya tak nak pergi Tesco lah, jom pergi makan after maghrib? <<

>he don't even reply... =.(

so i just... moody.. i feel alone. erm.. i want to at least talk to him. meet him is even better..
but i d k... its like he trying to avoid me. that's it or i'm thinking too much. i d k. i really don't..

so i went to my dance class, 8.30 p. m til 10.30 p.m. after i done, i check my phone. hoping to see any missed call or message. but there's none.. NONE. what should i feel? i'm really damn sad.
at last, i text him, >> awak dah balik? <<

HIM>> dah nak balik ni

REBUNG>> owh ok. saya nak keluar makan dengan Abang An.

HIM>> ok.

REBUNG>> ok? ok, bye!

(tut..tut..tuttt....)

Abang An is my housemate's, Ratna's brother. my guy doesn't like him, he believe that Abang an have a crush on me. but then, he said, "ok" when i said i want to go out with him. OKAY, I MADE UP THE STORY<>

then i text him. yeah.. argue. F*&^!!!! i hate this!!!! i hate him!!!! i'm so mad!!!!!!!!

>>>>>>>>FIGHTING AGAIN FOR THE TRILLIONS TIME!!!

he then call..

HIM>> saya kat depan ni, cepatlah turun, say belikan tauhu bakar untuk awak ni.

REBUNG>> taknak, i'm not hungry. just go. nanti asrama tutup

HIM>> awak lapar kan? nah la, saya beli untuk awak. if awak taknak, bagi budak2 rumah awak tu.

REBUNG>> taknak. dorg pun taknak. awak makan la dengan budak dorm awak. saya taknak.

HIM>> okay, awak makan apa je hari ni?

REBUNG>> ** silence**

HIM>> nah la. saya beli untuk awak ni.

REBUNG>> (crying) i don't want it! i'm not hungry! bye!!

(tut..tut..tuttttttt)

i'm so angry. that easy? suka rasuah orang dengan foods, jalan2, and etc. tapi perangai macam.......!!!!!!!!

so we end up blaming each other, and "awak jangan ganggu saya, tunggu saya contact awak"

benci! fed up! if i don't love you, i will not wait for you until now tau tak??!!!

you say you love me, you give me this and that. but you never try to understand me. i'm the 1 who always try to understand you. you hurt me so bad. you and your dumb stupid friends! i hate them! i wonder why u want me. for what? i really do hate you!!

yeah.. now i'm writing this shit. i'm really sad. i hate him. nobody loves me for the way i am. i always end up feels like a shit.