LONGGGGGGG STORY.. really. =)

hye.. salam... it's been a while...

i'm back!!

a new me.. a new month.. a new guy.. a new dramas!! haha
ok.. its not funny. my life is not funny but i rather to look at it that way..
it made me feel better.. or else.. i'm just dying in it. nahhhh

so.. how to start? ok.. my ramadhan is one of the worst. my plan to made my relationship with my ex was ruin by OTHERS. so we broke up like 5days before Aidilfitri.

life is interesting.. 2days before we broke up, i got to noe this guy from FB, my besties fren. a gud guy. cut it short, i gave my num n we being FRENS! heh

at 1st, i tot im only using him to let my ex off my mind. n as u guys can predict, i think i'm into this new guy. n i muz say it happen REALLY2 FAST. crazy is it?? ok.. i m crazy, dats ME. haha

so we try to get to noe other better. yup.. i'm comfortable with him coz somehow, he is juz like me. i mean.. both of us have our own personal issues (well obviously i'm worst la kan?haha)..
n.. we hook up. i mean.. couple laaa.. (mak abah tau ni, padan muke aku)
we met, dated.. n i admit, i'm falling for him. SERIOUSLY.
ouh.. thers 1 event wher my ex confront him, n me. dat nyte was really crazy. but stil.. i want the new 1. dunno y.. maybe i just like him too much? MAYBE...

after dat nyte.. nta.. evrything has changed.

but couples days ago, he came n i tot we're getting just ok. but. nta.... i d k wat shud i do nw.

things i dont like about YOU;
>>ur past yet i accept it coz we cant change it n i hope u leave all of it bhind coz u have me now
>>ur GF's, i'm really jealous with them. i noe u can jage diri n stuff. but its all BULL coz i cant n will never like my guy b CLOSE to ANY otha gal than me.
>>ur questioning habit, i hate being suspected. being questioned like i dont u'stand ur questions. i'm not stupid la MUSHY.

hhmmmmmhhh...

just so u noe, I LIKE U N WANT U.

shud we carry on?? or shud we...just stop?

MYSELF...

1st Ramadhan... again. Alhamdulillah.. =)

but i cry a lot, starting from habis tarawikh til asar tadi. hehe...

let u go.. let me go. wil we do it? i mean, for real?? its not easy. never will.. i d k..

me..
i never end up wit some1 i like. but whoever willing to stay, to love, to care, to protect me, then i'l stay with him...

me..
emotional.... kuat merajuk. kuat jealous..

me..
willing to listen to whatever her love 1 need to say.

me..
doesn't like to b alone. never want to b alone.

me..
doesn't like to b ignore n hanging on something where ther is no concrete reason or answer..

me..
wil b COMPLETELY crazy wenever she emotional. she willing to say the most dirtiest thing on earth but she'll recover soon after she let everything out of her chest..

me..
quite a good drama queen... wil say dat she'll harm herself just to keep some1 she love, to keep him stay..


now she's on her own again. falling again. with no 1 lend her a hand.

to u.. i do love. wish i can get over u..

to some1 out there, my savior (maybe??).. this is me.

i'm sorry..

Abah and Mak!

i miss them. seriously. more than ever. worry about them. i d k y...

i didnt go back to JB like more than 2months. abah keep calling n askin me to come back to JB. but i said i cant, due to my part time job b4 my class starts next week (17th Aug)..

n there's some personal conflict that i had this past few months... i just dont have the guts to go back to JB. i rather stay here n finish my school 1st. then i wil go back to JB n bring my DIPLOMA. so my parents wil b happy. thats my plan. but now.. i d k..

abah text me yesterday, "abah d hospital, buat radiotherapy yang 1st out of 25sessions,kena buat tiap2 hari"

then i call, abah with mak. he's driving on his own to the hospital. i cried. if only i'm in JB.. my sis bz with her job. my bro din have the license yet...
n abah also said, Mak's blood pressure is high its 205 over 90. i wuz like, WHAT??????!!! dat is DAMN high. normal is 120 over 80. i didnt talk to mak for 2months also, merajuk i muz say. n now i really want to talk to her, i'm so worry. but i d k wat to say so i said to abah, "kirim salam mak, cakap kat mak jgn tension2". dats it. i d k wat more to say... ='(

after that i end up crying for the whole nyte. i d k wat to do. half hearted. i want to go home, but my ego said "NO". i really dunno wat to do.

i'm so sad. no. i'm really2 sad... =(

Mak Abah, Dya minta maaf lame tak balik. taknak susakn abah. n taknak buat mak risau. Dya ok kat sini. Dya blaja elok2, Dya janji. Dya janji akan buat Mak Abah bangga dengan Dya. Dya janji takkan kecewakan Mak Abah. Dya janji. Dya minta maaf if ada klakuan Dya buat Mak Abah kecil hati. Dya minta maaf. harap Mak Abah doakn kjayaan Dya slalu. Dya doakn Mak Abah sehat sentiasa. aminnnn..

LOAN>>HOLD?????!!!

yup.. my loan is been hold. dammit...

coz of this onestupiddocument..

so i went to damansara, sign some doc n they say the money wil come in a bit. early october.

IN A BIT>>> EARLY OCTOBER???? wut da hell on earth??

i need money!! give me the money laa!!!!!!


sad (>.<)!!!!!

wish...

today i'm settling my register fee for diz coming new term.
done it at BANK ISLAM.. rm250.
wil b registering for new term on 12 til 14 ou august. cant wait!!
i miss schoolllllll..... =( sob3


pay my house rent already..

so thats it.

it just....




bile loan nak masuk nihhhhhhhhhhh???!!!! help!!!!!!!!

THE PROPOSAL

wat a weekend..

i didnt see him for a week. bored like hell.

til dat saturday nyte he text me n ask me to get ready for tomorrow. A DATE!! weeeee.. =p

i miss him. i'm excited til i didnt sleep dat nyte. LOL!! yet fall asleep at 5am. ngeee

so the day is here!!
woke up at 9am... mandi manda..
and he arrived at 11.30am (an hour and half LATE)..

we went to stadium melawati for the bazar..
then to bukit tinggi, wathing THE PROPOSAL!!! =)

mannnnnnn... its hilarious!! i swear. its all ther. comedy, romance, action. GREAT!!

i love it!!!

so thats my weekend.. =)

THE RULES!!!

1. The female always makes the rules
2. The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
3. No male can possibly know all the rules.
4. If the female suspects the MALE know all the rules, she must immediately change some or all of the rules.
5. The female is never wrong.
6. If the female is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was a result of something the male did or said wrong.
7. The male must apologize immediately for causing said misunderstanding.
8. The female may change her mind at any time.
9. The male must never change his mind without the express written consent of the female.
10. The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
11. The male must remain calm at all times unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.
12. The female must, under no circumstances, let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry and/or upset.
13. The male is expected to mind read at all times.
14. Any attempt to document the rules could result in bodily harm.
15. If the female has PMS, all the rules are null and void.
16. The female is ready when she is ready.
17. The male must be ready at all time.
18. The male who doesn't abide by the rules can't take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp.

.. UPS and DOWNS ..

in a fight, broke up and like always, we get back together.. AGAIN.

yup. wenever we get in a fight, we end up maki2, n blaming each other. telling ourself, 'THATS IT!!' not going to get back or give u another chance. u know? the EMO me... =)

ouh this time, i thought he got another girl, too afraid that he'll 'kantoi' so he digging up the past & put all the blame on me. i was like "Y ALL THE SUDDEN U GET UPSET? PMS?". after few days, went to see his click, IZ. from Iz i got to know that he actually jealous. DAMMIT!! is it so hard to say that ur jealous????

thats him. always make things complicated.

then i met him, dinner, talk, heart to heart. EASY isnt it? just tell me la sayang, jangan tibe2 nak ngamok, mngalahkan saya PMS.



p/s.. Y after all i've been through, all the pain, I still get back with him? FAITH. coz i have faith in him.

i love you...