okay, he's still around. i mean, we're in the same college. what do u expect?? huhu still remember the good moments but still, hurts. =) so we make a deal, BE FRIENDS. we're still meeting each other. went out for lunch, dinner, and even study together. so.. i'll go with the flow. my status>>> ITS COMPLICATED. lols
i really don't know what to think, what to do... i just need company. some1 to share, to talk to. u know??
i don't care who u r, if u want me, come and get me. and please, don't hurt me. i just don't have time for that.
who is the loser?? an EX-BESTFRIEND which now also known as VICTORIA BECKHAM wannabe. LOSER!!!
well, she's been my enemy for the past 7months i guess. why?? good question. because i put on my hijab (tudung) and i start having a good lifestyle. no more going out in the weekend, doing all the stupid stuffs (maksiat to be exact, i used to be a bitch, but not anymore), no more hanging out at night (overnight), no more wearing all the tight clothes (but sometimes i do wear it, but i know the limit). that some of it. she makes all my ex housemates turn their back on me, and made up bad stories about me. she even say i'm not a virgin?? BODOH. what a loser. i did confront her, but since she's a loser, so she just remain silence. but behind my back, SHE IS TOTALLY A BITCH. so thats something about her.
ouh.. the story. okay2. this term, her course joining my course for Communication Skill subject. so i have to see her ugly face every thursday night. but i'm fine with it, it just, i hate to see her ugly face. i'm not saying i'm pretty or what, but i'm better than her, in and out. SORRY LOSER
okay, so, last sunday we had the presentation day. i wear my red baju kurung and put on my blazer. i think i look good (macam peguam okay? lols). i arrived quite late, by that time all the front sit is full so i have to sit at the back. on my way up, i saw her and 2 other ex housemates, as i come across her sit, i put my bag down and sit. (i sat exactly a row behind her). i'm talking to ratna and suddenly i heard..
LOSER>>eiii.. apsal perempuan ni duduk belakang. aku tak suke la perempuan ni.
PRETTY LADYakaREBUNG>>**silence** i want to see what more she got
LOSER>>eiii.. tiba2 panas la kat belakang. benci betul!!!
**i stood up, took out all the books i got in my bags and starting walking behind the LOSER, at the same time the book is to be a sign that the row that i have sit is for my group** while walking..
PRETTY LADYakaREBUNG>>aihh..pagi2 ni aku malas layan BABI bercakap. now BABI ni dah pandai. memang nak kena ajar. bunyi lagi sekali, siaplah kau. aku tak ada mood nak dengar BABI bercakap.
**i look at ratna and said..**
PRETTY LADYakaREBUNG>>At, aku tak ingin duduk belakang dengan BABI yang dangkal, agak2 kau nampak tempat kosong kat depan, bagitahu aku ye?? duduk belakang memang panas, ahli neraka ramai ni, mana tak panas kan? (hamek ko!)
okay, why didn't i just go straight and meet her? if i do so, there will be a fight. i'm a hot tempered person. once i hit someone, i just can't stop. plus, if i did that, i'm just humiliating myself. so i'll just play the game. waiting for her to piss off and lay her finger on me, and then....... you will see.
so i manage to change my sit and sit in the front. i can hear she keep "sindir2" me. i just smile. coz i know thats all she got, she don't have the guts to say anything in front of my face. what a LOSER. lols. guess what she wear? baju kurung modern which is too tight for her (baju pinjam agaknya. haha. aku kejam. so whattt???). and once said, orang seni je tahu seni, baru la stylo. MAK KO!!!! seems like kau tak tahu seni la since baju kau ketat, macam sarung nangka busuk. LOLS!!!! ouh.. not to forget. i think she is really piss off right now coz i lose weight. i was like really slim. and she is DAMN PLUMPY. mwahahahaha..
kesian ko. dah la bodoh, hodoh plak. LOSER. BIG TIME LOSER!!!
hamik ko!!!
OOPSSSS!!!!
okay, this the other part of me. the angry 1. i'll say all the bad words and don't care what might happen next. get in a fight? my pleasure. look forward for it. i'm not the 1 u want to mess with. so beware. if i said i hate u, so BUZZ OFF!
earth hour!!! 28th March 2009. the earth day. did u guys contribute something??? i did!!! heheh me and my housemates (kak Rose, Ratna, Ada, Mila), we switch off all the lights, then we stay outside the house. lols. ouh.. we did take some picture during the EARTH HOUR. cool!!! here some of it! =)
pic 1>> me and kak rose pic 2>> ada ratna mila kak rose pic 3>> silly me pic 4>>me kak rose ratna
ouh.. and the next day, i got my public speaking day for my Communication Skill class. a month ago, our NYEH2 lecturer, MR. AZRUL SHAH @ MR. AZBOROI has given us 10 topics for the public speaking session. and i pick DO YOU THINK THAT ONE's CAREER DEPENDS ON HE/HER COMMUNICATION SKILL?, well i don't have to put my text in here, am i?? hehe
so its 29 of March, we should get started at 8.45am and ended at 6pm. but guess what?? we've been forced to go to our campus hall and sit there to hear a talk about bussiness. what the???? and we tayed there until 1.50pm!!! huh! i'm so sleepy because the night before that i sleep at 5am. huhu.. =(
then, at 2pm, the public speaking session is started. there's 200 students, and my turn is 121. arghhh!!!! i am damn exhausted!!! and mr. Azrul said that today, those from number 1 til 100 will only present. the rest, will be on next saturday. when i got the idea of heading back home, "to those who think about going back home, your marks will be zero.", i was like, "whattttttttt???!!!!!". in the end of it, i be the time keeper. huh! =( i'm so exhausted, dissapointed (coz i didn't present today. damn!) yet, i'm still happy, cause all of us looking very2 nice, pretty and handsome. lols. but that just it....
pic 1>> me pic 2>> myra and me pic 3>> me and ratna
the reminder is for me.. not for you. if you already read it, finish it oryou'll get in a big trouble later on friday. lols!
i've done my next term subject registration>> CLINICAL TRAINING 1 (MFD 2143) but still, print out the subject registration form and hand it to MR BEAR>> En. Sharikh.
i have to take my tuition fees clearance slip, and then take my exam slip.
copy or steal the exam schedule from the faculty by the end of this week.
ouh.. myexam should start on 20th April. and my birthday will be on...... =P
at last...Afiq take his SPM result,what did he get?? NOT TELLING!!! it just not bad, but somehow it is quite disappointing. it's okay, he'll be fine.
andABAH!!!! =P wo xiang ni, Abah. =) he will be out from the hospital around next week. Alhamdulillah...
Z.J, he accept my apology, and willing to be friends again. Thanks. =) and J, stop calling me "si gendut" ha. or i'll kick your ***. lols. now i'm writing about u again. haha silly u! J sien!
what did i have today?? 1>> Cardiorespirastory presentation 2>> Japanese language test 3>> Musculoskeletal test
fiuhhhhh... =P
okay, 1st, the presentation is on 8.30am, guess what?? i woke up at 8.15am!!!!! waaaa!!!!! so.. wash my face, brush my teeth, change the **tutttt** and wear proper clothes for the class. lols!! and it went well, i present the task with my beloved Ratna (lessy partner). it just a small part, Ratna did a tiny mistake, but over all, it is great. =)
2nd, i didn't really study Japanese (unless the words or statement that i can use to tease the Japanese student. =p). so.. the test is hard.. i can't remember Katagana characters, but..... Ajizu Sensei and Ratna help me, a lots! heheh.. so, i manage to answer it. *wink*
3rd.. haa... Japanese test on 5pm, and ended on 6.50pm. up next is my Musculoskeletal test, its on 7pm. crazy huh?? haha!! (macam nak mati wo!!!) ha, yang ni, nasib baik senang, if notttttt... balik rumah, nangis!!!. Thank God, for making it easy for me. =)
owh.. ini yg d maksudkan dengan TAG.. ouhhhhh.. hehehe sO kak rose yang ku sayangi, kerana u pun special, so saya rela meneruskan perjuangan nih. cewahhh!!!
5 Yang Paling Spesel - Orang Yg Masih Bernyawa: >> Si Rebung (artist nihhh.. oopsss) >> my PRECIOUS FAMILIA.. =) >> my best friends, Farahin Lasuri. >> some1, not telling
>> Cristiano Ronaldo.. uuuu.. xoxoxoxoxo
5 Yang Paling Spesel - Makhluk Bernyawa Bukan Orang: >> birds.. i don't have 1, but i loves birds. =) >> my pet, NINA. a cat. haha. >> rabbits. cute! i did have 3 of it, but my dad gave it to my lil cousin. huh! >> pigeons, in my place, i mean, back home in Johore. >> panda bear!!! i look like 1. haha!
5 Yang Paling Spesel - Harta Benda Yg Memang Tak Bernyawa: >> handphone.. >> scarfs, Lawi bought for me. =) >> laptop, back home in Johore >> my POLO hand bag, i bought it on my own. uuuu.. >> ermm.. what more? haaa... my books, novels. SPECIAL!!!!
5 Yang Paling Spesel - Ape-ape Yg Jadi Nyawa Anda: >> my life >> my family >> my stuff >> my friends >> those who cares about me
5 Yang Paling Spesel - Penjawab Tag Nyawa Yg Seterusnya: >> Hady adinda kuh >> Tom2.. the naughty junior >> Kak Rose, tp dia da tag kite. hehe >> Ain, dearest friend. >> Plain, musuh dlm slimOt. wakakaka
I used to think that happiness could only be something that happened to somebody else Everybody believed, everybody but me And I've been hurt so many times before That my hope was dying So sick of trying Everybody could see, everybody but me But then you came into my life You opened up my softer side And I can see into your eyes And suddenly I realize
I Made you think (You don't understand) All the times you didn't understand Why you couldn't just be my man I made you think (You don't understand) There were many walls you had to climb If you really wanted to be mine I Made you think (You don't understand) After all the hoops I put you through Now I see that I'm in love with you Now I hope you finally understand
So many tears I had to cry But you had many more of your own you had to dry But you stuck it out and you're here with me now, And remember in the days I pushed away your love You caught my bluff and you still stayed around Yeah you figured me out Said you got me down
And there's no way I'd lie to you You know me better than I do You see me through I'd be no good Without you
Baby won't you listen now Can't you see just what I'm talking 'bout Said baby won't you listen now Can't you see just what I'm talking 'bout
Time went on And I was wrong To keep my distance for so long So afraid You wouldn't stay But you never turned away Yeah
Always strong By my side You're forever in my life Don't you go Coz now I know That in you I found a home
And I can see into your eyes And suddenly I realize
this song was sang by Christina Aguilera, i love her!! ermm.. love this song. really love it...
okay.. i'm missing sum1. i do. i feel guilty to him. but i think he'll b fine. he always will. he's a fighter. aren't u Z.J???
i can't really remember the exact date we're texting each other. huhu. could b '04, '05 or '06 new year eve. got to know him from... NOT TELLING
we're friends, he's in Sabah while me in Johore. we're doing good. he's fun to talk to. great sense of humor.. (miss that moment..) we used to talk on the phone, late at night.he likes Beckham (he even have his poster on the wall in his room>> kind of gay isn't it?. then.. we get hooked up. lols.crazy huh? we don't even really know each other very well. but.. puppy love. u can say that. i know where he went for school, his family members, his passion in basketball n dancing.and, i'm fine with it. it just, i need company and i don't care whoever he is as long as he care about me. SILLY ME!! =)
well.. we dont really contacting each other, busy with school and stuff. but i remember, we always talked to each other almost every weekend. =) i did text him, but he's not always available. i miss him.. really..
u know, he always call me SI GENDUT, SI BOROI n stuff coz he thinks i'm too short n fat. haha. funny. its okay tho since we didn't know each other that well. he's a basketball player for Sabah, so i adore him a lot . when he's sulking, i always sing a song for him. he like it. stickwitu. haha. n some other songs. ha.. i always asked him to sing a song for me too. guess what he sang? u're going to be shock. lols he sang ABCs, 123, and Negaraku for me. haha!! yeah.. he's not romantic at all. but still, at that time, i'm in love with him (i guess) coz he makes me happy.. n we did sang a song together, but i don't remember what song is it, owh.. its by Westlife. sorry. SILLY US!! lols
ther's 1 time, he went to Labuan, he called me for hours. he went gambling. haha. silly him. he said he wears something which to me its a gay outfit. hehe. i don't remember if i ever told him that before. lols. when he's on the bus, he did let me talk to his sis (dessy). then he let me hear his favourite song (is it? i mean, is it ur favourite song? can't really remember that. huhu), owh. its MIRAEI. n he did promise me that 1 day he going to come n find me. sweet.. isn't he?
and told u what Z.J, i've learnt Japanese. don't b jealous ha u silly! c(=
and we did study together, yeah.. through calls. haha! i remember this 1, he don't know what 'perigi mencari timba' means. GOSH!! its like 3 or 4 months before SPM. haha.
'kutuk' each other so bad since i'm zero when it turn to add math. haha.
then... i d k.. i forgot. everything fall into pieces.. there's 1 time, ther's an eartquake somewhere in Indonesia. it affect his place. i cant reach him, i only get to talk to his dad. n thats it. i d k anything anymore.
but after SPM, we did contacting each other again. he blame me for not contacting him. its on and off. i mean, sometimes he's there, but sometimes, he's not. so i started seeing another guy here. n totally forgot him.
n last month, he got my yahoo messenger id, and he's online!! he never did tho. haha. i'm kind of shock. afraid too. yeah, he asking me back. he said he's here for me and stuff. but he don't know that i've moved on. so i made up a story, to hurt him. to make him stop. and i made it!
all i can say now, i'm sorry sayang. i did love u. but u deserve better. be good. i'll always here, praying for u, okay?
again, i'm sorry Z.J.. i really do.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Koo Boon Hou aka Xiao Bao...
handsome isn't he? he's no here anymore.. May God bless him. rest in peace my dear..
he's my highscool classmate, since form 4 til form 5... okay, i have a crush on him. he's really cute..
i used to;
REBUNG>> morning xiao bao!!! ni hen suai oh. (u'r handsome), like always.. =) Xiao Bao>>morning.. ** blushing**, xie xie ni.. (thank you.)
Ang Li Yun, my classmate, drop a comment on my friendster page. i suddenly remember Xiao Bao. u know, chinese are very close to each other. whenever i think about 1 of my chinese classmate, i'll end up remember all of them.. =) i really2 miss them..
but Xiao Bao, i remember him the most.. his smile... his voices.. his blushing cheeks. the way he teased me. i just miss him. in fact, i love him. yeah.. love him.... =(
he's a prefect, he sit in front of me in the class. he's not talkative, very quiet 1. but he always talk to me (cause i make him to. =) ). i always push my table towards his chair, so whenever he need to move or get up from his chair, he'd say...
>> REBUNG.. ni haaaaa!!! aihhhh.. ni hen fei! (Rebung.. you haaa..... aihhh.. you're so fat!)
and then we laughed.
haha.. i did that everyday.. everyday.. i miss you. i really do. he always help me in my Modern and Add Math exercises and i help him in his Malay and English exercises..
then we had SPM, holiday, work..... and the result came out.
i went to school, i want to meet him (and of course to take my result.). he's not there. i asked my other chinese classmates, they said that xiao bao is sick. but i know that he got 9 A's in the exam. yeah.. he's handsome and brilliant. that's why i like him a lot.
the end of March '07, i heard that he's taking form 6 in a Boys school in JB. and at the same time, going back and forth from JB to Singapore to do his chemotherapy... he had a brain tumor. shocking.. really shocking.. =(
he did came to my house on Hari Raya, he don't look like he is sick. he talks a lots. i just.. shock. u know? i'm sad...
April 'o7, i did met him several times, in the mall. he's with his form 6 classmate. i cant go n meet him since i'm working... i only look at him. he seems... handsome. like always. and healthy.
July' 07.. i'm in Unisel, Shah Alam... since i saw him at the mall few months back, i never thought that something bad is going to happen to him.
after a month in Unisel, i got a message in my friendster account, from Li Yun. she asked me to get back to JB, to pay my last respect to Xiao Bao.
>>> he's dead???? no. he cant be. he cant be!!!! <<<
but he is.. he's gone.. =,(Xiao bao...
now. he's no longer around.. all that i got left is, the memories.. i miss him a lot. i love him too.
last nyte i had a dream, about him...he came to my house, Hari Raya.. with Siang Choon and Fook Thai.from my house, we're heading to another friend's house. Fook Thai is driving, Siang Choon sit next to him. me? at the back.. with Xiao Bao.....
we talked... we laughed... and he said something.. he said he loves me.haha.. yeah,it's silly. maybe i think about him a lot. but i don't care. i get the chance to meet him. that's what important!
Xiao Bao, i really do miss you.. u will always be in my heart. always....
afiq is my brother, he's 18. called him just now, asking for his SPM result..
>> aku tak ambil lagi laaa... budak2 cuti kannnn... next week laaa.. >>
he quit his job already.. since 15 of March. (got to know about it, 2hour ago...) he ask me to get back to JB a.s.a.p....
hari2 aku jenguk Abah. dia dah okay. dah boleh makan sikit2. tapi Abah muntah2. kau balik lah. semalam luka operation Abah terbuka, banyak darah keluar. ntah macamana la doctor jaga abah. ni kembar (i have twin brothers) buat hal, kau balik lah. pening kepala aku nak handle rumah. hmmhh, i have a big sis tho. but she's too busy with her job. my mom is busy taking care of my dad in the hospital. and my other siblings, Afiq have to handle them. i got another 2bro's(the twin, 17), a lil sis(14) and a lil bro(13)... too hard for him to handle ryte? the housechores.. everything.
FIQ... i'll be back as soon as i've done my final exam this end of April. just hold on. GOD.. please lighten the burden a little bit. show me the best way to go. keep me in track. REBUNG.. study! study!! study!!!
owkay.. he's a doctor. very nice 1. met him like an hour ago. went to his clinic UMRA CLINIC , seksyen 13, Shah Alam.
Ratna, caught fever. his brother, Abang An, fetch us and bring us to this Dr. clinic.. Dr. SS Kumar, his name. very nice person. i mean, ratna got fever, he do the ascultation, and we said (me and ratna) said we know how to do it since we're studying in Physiotherapy. and he is being so nice. he talks about current medical issues and give us lots of advise. and also testing our knowledge in this field.
Dr.>> u did learn about lymphatic system aren't u?? Ratna>> err.. yeahhhh.. **staring at me** REBUNG>> owhhh.. of course. **Damn it! i did learn about it, i think.. its... errrr... ermmm** Dr.>> so other than axillary (near to the armpit area.. haha), which part of the body have the important lymph nodes?? yvonne? (his nurse>>a trainee from masterskill) Yvonne>> erm.. i don't know, Dr. (i wonder how come she didn't know that? she's in the nursing field!!! goshhh!!!) Dr.>> its ok. Ratna?? Ratna>> errr... **keep staring at me** Dr.>> **he looked at me(he dont know my name..)** REBUNG>> owh.. its in this area. ** showing the part of my body, the inguinal(lower limbs), and also the neck and head..... (okay, i think this is the the answer, please say its right!!!!) Dr.>> good, so u know. very good. so yvonne, the lymph nodes is bla3, yada3....
well in fact i feel proud of myself. haha! i really did learn. haha! i'm not that stupid. yes3!!!!!
>>>>> i want to study harder. it is really fun when u get to know and learn new things. and its a satisfaction when others don't have as much as u have, i mean the knowledge. =)
RM80, Ratna's medicine... **i don't want to get sick anymore. huhu**
i ask for his (the Dr.) name card, so, that's how i get to know his name. hehe
i text him, and it is very sweet of him.. >> hi , REBUNG. nice to meet u too, keep in touch, call/sms anytime.
yeah.. i break up with him. i hope this time for real. i'm tired. i m really2 tired.
i just feel that he don't want me. do i love him? yeah. but that's it. enough is enough.. (i guess...)
GOD please make me strong. please.
to plain, sorry to bother u. i just don't know what to do. u're a good friend. to kak nona, thanks for the advice. its hard. life is hard. i can see how u struggle, i'm proud of u and i wish i can be strong like u.
hmmhhh.. just got back from my dance class. doing the Javanese traditional dance and AKU STACY song. gosh.. damn crazy. but i love it!
went to the class without bringing my cellphone, thank God that i do brought my keys. huhu.. after i've done, as i'm heading out from campus, there's my guy, staring at me. SHIT! what should i do? ok, i act cool. ignore him. (i'm still angry tho...)
HIM>>Rebung, dah makan? (this is his favourite question to ask me. PERLI la tuhhhh!!)
REBUNG>> dah. (keep walking, i don't want to see his face)
HIM>> makan apa? tunggu saya. (bossy!)
REBUNG>> **i stop and look at him**
HIM>> boleh kita pergi minum? (ha.. now u're acting so nice. eeeeee!!!!!)
REBUNG>> **not saying anything but i nod my head**
so we go to this mamak restaurant, he ordered teh tarik and roti telur, i had air kosong,(still in the mood of protest). he force me to eat, i refuse. he always bribes me with food, adorable face, songs. sick of it!! (erm.. okay, i kind of like it too. huhu)
after that, he sent me home. there's a bus stop in front of my house, he grab my hand and ask me to stay for a while. we sat. we talk. he asked me what happen and bla3.. i burst out. he say sorry. but i'm still mad.
REBUNG>> u know what i hate most when we're having discussion? we keep blaming each other. ther's no use. u're not going to change. i have no problem with ur family or what, it's ur attitude. sometimes u treating me like shit. did u realize that??
HIM>> i know, honey.... i'm too secure. i always think that no matter what i do, u'r not going away. i know u love me, i love u too. but sometimes, i just.. i forget. i'm sorry. i just want u to be here.
REBUNG>> tu la awak. saya tak faham. apa awak nak sebenarnya? saya penat la. saya betul2 benci awak. u hurt me so bad.
HIM>> u hurt me too honey.. dahla, tak nak la gaduh2. tak comel da budak besar saya ni. meh saya hantar depan rumah.
eeeee.. geram!!!!!! selalu macam ni. lari dari cari jalan penyelesaian. fed up.
i woke up at around 12p.m.. what?? i'm tired okay??!! huhu.. well of course my guy waking me up, he called. "awak mesti belum bangun kan? aihhhh.. saya baru habis kelas, saya nak tidur jap, pukul 2 p.m ada kelas, awak pun kan? saya nak tidur jap k." i said, "ok.." well, i hope he ask me to go out for lunch, then he can ask me what happen yesterday between me and her lil sis, but he seems like... I D K....
then, i go to class ( Cardiorespiratory 2) <<> the class at 2 p.m. i text him around 1.30pm, remind him about his class, then he reply, "class cancel..". owh ok. i said, "ok, awak penat lagi? rehatlah.. if lapar pergi makan dulu. if nak tunggu saya, saya habis pukul 4." then.... he said nothing. i finish the class around 3.40p.m, went to the faculty to meet my lecturer ( Mr. Sharikh ) to ask the details of my clinical training this coming May until September. and then... its 4 p.m.. i call him, wanted to ask him to go for our late lunch.
REBUNG>> awak tidur lagi? nak pergi makan tak?
HIM>> tidur lagi.. tak nak.
REBUNG>> ouh ok. bye.
(tut..tut..tuttttttttt)
okay.. i'm kind of sad. i'm starving to death. yes, i can go on my own. it just.. i want to meet him. talk to him. (i wish he ask me what happen yesterday when i'm with his lil sis, what did she tell me, what did i told her and etc. u knOw?) hmmmhhhh... he seems like, he don't give a damn about it. (it makes me angry, its like, "ntah2 aku ni perempuan ke berapa la dia bawa jumpe adik dia nih. aku je syok sendiri, excited jumpe adik2 dia, tapi dia?????!!!!!" ='(
LOVE SUCKS!!!!!
i went home, hoping he call me. 5 p.m.. 6 p.m.. i fall asleep.. << still didn't eat =(
... 7 p.m, he called. i'm awake, but i didn't pick up (protest!!). 1 missed call. that's it. once????
a message came in...
>> saya nak pergi Tesco dengan Radhi. awak dah makan belum? <<
>> pergilah. belum, its ok, i got biscuits.. <<
i hope he reply, >> jom lah ikut sekali, kita makan kat sana. <<
>> takpela, saya tak nak pergi Tesco lah, jom pergi makan after maghrib? <<
>he don't even reply... =.(
so i just... moody.. i feel alone. erm.. i want to at least talk to him. meet him is even better.. but i d k... its like he trying to avoid me. that's it or i'm thinking too much. i d k. i really don't..
so i went to my dance class, 8.30 p. m til 10.30 p.m. after i done, i check my phone. hoping to see any missed call or message. but there's none.. NONE. what should i feel? i'm really damn sad. at last, i text him, >> awak dah balik? <<
HIM>> dah nak balik ni
REBUNG>> owh ok. saya nak keluar makan dengan Abang An.
HIM>> ok.
REBUNG>> ok? ok, bye!
(tut..tut..tuttt....)
Abang An is my housemate's, Ratna's brother. my guy doesn't like him, he believe that Abang an have a crush on me. but then, he said, "ok" when i said i want to go out with him. OKAY, I MADE UP THE STORY<>
then i text him. yeah.. argue. F*&^!!!! i hate this!!!! i hate him!!!! i'm so mad!!!!!!!!
>>>>>>>>FIGHTING AGAIN FOR THE TRILLIONS TIME!!!
he then call..
HIM>> saya kat depan ni, cepatlah turun, say belikan tauhu bakar untuk awak ni.
REBUNG>> taknak, i'm not hungry. just go. nanti asrama tutup
HIM>> awak lapar kan? nah la, saya beli untuk awak. if awak taknak, bagi budak2 rumah awak tu.
REBUNG>> taknak. dorg pun taknak. awak makan la dengan budak dorm awak. saya taknak.
HIM>> okay, awak makan apa je hari ni?
REBUNG>> ** silence**
HIM>> nah la. saya beli untuk awak ni.
REBUNG>> (crying) i don't want it! i'm not hungry! bye!!
(tut..tut..tuttttttt)
i'm so angry. that easy? suka rasuah orang dengan foods, jalan2, and etc. tapi perangai macam.......!!!!!!!!
so we end up blaming each other, and "awak jangan ganggu saya, tunggu saya contact awak"
benci! fed up! if i don't love you, i will not wait for you until now tau tak??!!!
you say you love me, you give me this and that. but you never try to understand me. i'm the 1 who always try to understand you. you hurt me so bad. you and your dumb stupid friends! i hate them! i wonder why u want me. for what? i really do hate you!!
yeah.. now i'm writing this shit. i'm really sad. i hate him. nobody loves me for the way i am. i always end up feels like a shit.
huh.. we'r fighting like every day. it sucks. i love him. i really do. it just....... i don't know...
yesterday,i should go out with my housemates, Ratna, Kak Rose n her sis, Kak Ita. We're planning to go to Shah Alam, for bowling, games and karaoke. i barely can't make it, cause i usually spent my weekend with my guy. but this week, he went to Sekinchan <<-- did i spell it right? whatever.. to his highschool friend's wedding. i want to go with him, but he not letting me to follow. don't know why... okay, i know why. he want to spend the day with his friends. by bringing me, i'm such a burden, plus, he spend the night there. where should i sleep pulak?? huhu. so... i'm fine with it. i came up with another plan which is "berfoye-foye" with my housemates. haha!!
that beautiful Sunday morning, around 8a.m, my guy called me. telling me he already come back from Sekinchan. i was like... "whattttt???". he said he's bored and want to go home. then I say okay. i tell him that i'm going out with my housemates cause i already promise them (n case he 'ngade2' to ask me to go out with him laaa). and he said, "ok, mak called tadi, mak suruh balik and bawa Siti jalan-jalan ke K.L". i'm glad to hear that. =) he went back home. around an hour, he text me. he asked, "awak nak pergi mana tadi? nak pergi K.L tak? temankan Siti (her youngest sis, 16years old), saya bawa Naim sekali (his bro, same age with me). awak ajak kawan2 awak sekali, follow saya dari belakang k?" i was like... "err, orang tanya diaorang dulu k?" and............................ my friends agree. Ratna, Kak Rose, and Kak Ita in 1 car. me, my guy, Naim and Siti in my guy's car.
>>>>>okay, this is my 1st time meeting my guy's family members. takutttt.. ya rabbbbb... huhu
so.. i spent the weekend with my guy jugak... well actually, we'r just get back together, again... n now he bring me to meet his siblings. i'm afraid. a little excited too. n feel like, "i think he ready to have commitment thats y he brings me to meet them".. that is wats on my mind.. it went well, in the car, i only asked the basic questions to her sis (like, belajar apa, pmr dapat apa?, and etc) it went well laaa..
we went to midvalley, guess what the very 1st question Siti asked me? huhu.. "tak saket ke kaki akak pakai high heels??" ceit. i'm trying to look nice. huhu. maybe i over doing it. too late to change my outfit. i just,"tak lah, akak dah biasa.. =)". i found that she love novels as much as i do. love english songs. and we had this girls conversations (u know, bf, crush,enemies n etc). it went pretty smooth. i try my best not to tell her that i'm his brother gf's, i want her to know it from his brother. but i think she knew it already, she said about the videos that she watched in her brother's laptop."video tu untuk *REBUNG*, akak la tu ea? tapi dalam video tu, perempuannya macam bukan melayu, and tak pakai tudung". DUSH!!!! it is me pOWn!! huhu. i was like, "err.. a'ah la tuh. akak da start pakai tudung n blablabla.." haha. end of discussion.
we went back home around 8pm,ha.. my other housemates head back home around 6pm, they leave me with my guys siblings alone. huhu... ='( he sent me home 1st, then he head back home. not so long after that, he call me, "saya tumpangkan Siti kat rumah awak jap, kereta rosak.". so i just pick the girl up. sambung mengumpat with her (she's quite fun tho). and this time, i asked about his brother. she talked about her bro's very 1st gf, she's a dentist. thats the only gf of his brother that she know. (yeah.. i'm the 2nd and yes, i hate the 1st 1. because she's the 1st). okay, cut it off.
around 10.30pm, he called me, to fetch her sis. their father came to pick them since the car is.... i don't know what happen to the car.. okay, this is what i understand from what he said, (i'm zero when it come to cars k? shut up! huhu). there's 2 tyres ( the back), there's a rode that holds them together, and the rode..................... break into 2. yeah.. its break. and he blame me!!!
"siapa lah yang duduk belakang tadi, berat betulllllll....", ceit punye bf! so. thats what happen on sunday, march 15.......
dunno where 2 start.. ok. my abah saket. he got prostate cancer and already had 2 surgeries, the 3rd was on 12th of march. like 2days ago..
this 1 connect direct from his kidney... gOt 2 of it. for the left and the right. it's urine, sometime it consist blood. the blood which backflow from his bladder..
and this 1, from his prostate and bladder....yup... it's blood. it's totally blood.is it hurts? yes, abah said it hurts. =,(
dya sayang abah.. sayang sangat. hope u'll b just fine. i'll always pray that u soon can leave the hospital. i know u get damn bored already, it's almost 2months, aite??? it's okay Bah, as long as u will be healthy again.
I really blank.. i mean.. i don't really have something to type. haha..
i do have blogs, but in some other site. I'll paste some of it here.. i like those, i miss the moment i wrote it. REALLY....
this post.. read it. sit and think. this is what I have to say about TRUE FRIENDS....
I'm a GOLD that fears no FIRE
waahhhhh.... it hv been a long tym since i actively jOining my$%#@^. huhu.
my status is i m damn bOred being arOund lOser n pOser "i used to be 1, n it feel suck, badmOuth, backstabbed my 'friends'. i'm such a loser!" nOw i'm TRYING TO B REAL!!!!!
well.... i dunno exactly what your perception towards me. to those who've been hurt, i'm sorry, never mean it (to some, yes, i meant it cuz sumhOw u deserved it) haha.
i'm trying to b nice, but i'm just a human, i'm sorry... i loves all my frens. i'm sorry.. i cant b a good fren coz it is almost impossible to be 1. i'm not a loser.... but when being around lOsers, u'll b 1.. (get what i mean??) mOral.... b frens with evrybOdy n be only gOod to "REAL FRENS!!" =)
what make me post this shit??? my communication skill class.... it taught me a lot abOut life. so i'm getting a real life.... nO more being loser, poser or whatsoever....
just being ' SI REBUNG '.. will do my best.
i POSTED it as a bulletin, never thought that some will read n post it back. geee!! thanks!
here’s the response..
are we loser?? are we not??
fans,,
how wud yuu described a demmly true fren??
lets talk….
do we need to stand beside her for 1 and half yer??
do we need to share all da tears and epines togeter??
do we need to pretend and just being hypocrite??
but at da end of it..
did we being stabbed??
did we being hurt??
did we being.. betrayed??
shud we regret all da memories??
shud we sent da fren away??
and da only we can do..
stay calm even we badly in pain….
stay wit da way we are..
stay wit da real true fren….
bcos….
only frens noe how frens act like…only frens noe wut do’s and wut dont”s..
to yuu,,
i sent back ur knife so yuu can use it again….
again wit ur another fren….
true frens doesnt hav to change to be around true frens….
true frens.. are da way they are from da moment they met..
so take it,love it and learn from it..
so yuu will neva lost ur true fren….
and diz is wat my hearts n mind said…
how can u say, “i’m ur true friend”?? you’re the 1 whO say it, or your friends will say so??
dizcussiOn….
2b a TRUE frens, it is nOt abOut how lOng we knew each other… u might be friends with sOmeone over what? let say 10 years, is she or he is ur true frens?? they’re can be and they can be nOt. but i strOngly say, it is NOT. it is nOt abOut TIME.
to be a TRUE frens is 2b 2geta.. in evry ups n dOwns…. i really mean it. UPS n DOWNS ok? Am i a TRUE friend? i admit, i’m NOT. i’m a gOod listener, a gOod adviser. I’ve been through a lots. I did falls for millions of time. I can't always cry over my friends prOblems… i did cry for my friends, but nOt all the times… and i never laugh over my frens sadness or pain.. its mean, isn't it? what I’m trying tO say is, its hard to be wit your frens in every he/her UPS n DOWNS… but i tried and will always try to be with my friends…
2b a TRUE frens, do we need to pretend and just being hypocrite?? we don't but when your ‘TRUE’ frens is a pretender and hypocrites, you’ll simply be 1. get it?? no offense but it will happen.
i say it, cuz i’v been arOund them n i’v been 1,before. i’m nOt d only 1, some of them also jOined d league. me, i’v learnt 2 badmouth nOt only my true frens, but also thOse whO i dun even nOe. stupid am i? anOtha frens, frOm an innOcent gal, dOwn 2earth, piOUs, has turned 2 some1 new, far away frOm who she really is.
i’m getting myself back by avOiding them… especially her.. why am i avOiding herTHEM?? cuz she seem like she's still live in stupidity (is there any term suits her well?) she refused to admit this prObs sumhOw cOmes frOm her acts n dun want 2 change her immatured mind n thats cOmpletely not my faults. i’m trying 2b gOod n she just cant accept it. so.. OFF U GOmy dear.
n i can say dat..
i’v been stabbed, i’v been hurt, i’v been betrayed, i did regret all da memories, n i did sent SOME of my TRUE frens away.
all i do now is b a better person. live my life to the max. be real.. gain a good self value.. n study harder.
but to all my frens, again, i’m not a good fren, but i’m still your frens… i’ve changed. i use to be a bitch, a loser, a poser, i admit dat. but my “YOUNG&STUPID” session has cOme to the end, so i’ve changed myself. i have to be a good person for me before being a good fren for u..
n if u said " true frens doesnt hav to change to be around true frens…. true frens are da way they are from da moment they met”, i’m sorry… thers nO such things. peoples change, right? whether to a better person or the other way arOund.
again, TRUE frens is being 2geta in our ups n downs, right? sit dOwn n think, do u think u’r a TRUE or are you even a GOOD frens???
to you my dear….
i sent back urWORDS so u can eat it..
which u always used to your frens….
n a little advise, u are no longer a kid, i give u chance to ask me anything n etc, but u said nothing. i’v explained evrything n hope evrything went good but u seem like u cant or dOnt want 2let gO.
all i cn say now is, mind ur own biz, cuz i wil only do my own thing… n GROW UP. stop bringing otha frens in diz issue, it is btween US. so let it b dat way. and my dear, i’m not d only 1 whO dislike u, there's tOns of them out there, arOund u. they jz dislike u, not hated u….. yet. so u just gO change yourself. b a REAL GOOD person n stOp putting ur mistakes on ur frens shOulder. don't act clever, u close to it but your not there yet. and you know what, keep this in your mind, this is btween u and me. i’m not going too stand that low arOund you anymore cuz i’m much more better than u. much2 more..=D
and not forgetting, THANX, i have took it, loved it and COMPLETELY learnt from it..
to be nOt just a gOOd FREN, but also a GOOD n BETTER person. ALHAMDULILLAH...
me??? hurmm... i dunO.. ask thOse whO really nOe me la... i muz say, i kinda easy gOin persOn n i jz hate thOse whO dun really u'stand wat 'respect' means.
