my life is FULL with drama

JAR OF HEARTS

2011-08-01T17:11:00.002+08:00

its 5.14pm.. i feel so dem sad. clueless. but I have to move on right? u dont want me, YOU never show or do anything to make me stay. YOU purposely did all tat so I'l LEAVE, right? its ok. I UNDERSTAND. and don't worry, I'm not angry at YOU. not at all. those girls is RIGHT, I'm stupid for running after a guy who don't need me. PLUS, I myself is imperfect so I DON'T DESERVE ANYONE. its ok. it is REALLY OK. I'l be fine soon. i will. i must say that YOU really screwed up my life. YOU wil never change. YOU plan TO, but YOU never will. tat is what YOU showed me. I am dissapointed. i really do. words cant explain how i feel right now. no words can describe.

No, I can't take one more step towards you
‘Cause all that's waiting is regret
Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live, half alive
And now you want me one more time

Who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

I've learned to live, half alive
And now you want me one more time

It took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
‘Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

Who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are?

"What It's Like To Be Me"

2011-07-31T17:16:00.002+08:00

Baby Tell me
Do I...
Look like the kinda girl
That you wanna take me home
Wanna make me your own
Do you even know what I like
Just what I'm living for,
What I adore
Baby, take the time to realize I'm
not the kind to sacrifice
The way I am
So if you wanna be my man

Do you know what its like?

Don't you get it twisted boy
I want you too
But you got my heart to win
Before I let you in
And this deceives you baby
I'm not the average lady
I need someone to love

Baby, take the time to realize I'm
not the kind to sacrifice
The way I am
So if you wanna be my man

Baby, Get to know me
Then you can show me
that you love for me is true
I’ll give you everything
That a girl can give
Don't you wanna be my man?

Walk a mile in my shoes
Do me right or I'm through
Can't you see that
If you wanna stay around (I’m telling you)
You’ve got to figure me out
Take your time or you lose
This is my game, my rules
And I can see, obviously,
Baby You don't know
What It's like to be me

"Save Me From Myself"

2011-07-31T16:14:00.003+08:00

It's not so easy loving me
It gets so complicated
All the things you've gotta be
Everything's changing
But you're the truth
I'm amazed by all your patience
Everything I put you through

When I'm about to fall
Somehow you're always waiting
with your open arms to catch me
You're gonna save me from myself
from myself, yes
You're gonna save me from myself

My love is tainted by your touch
Cuz some guys have shown me aces
But you've got that royal flush
I know it's crazy everyday
Well tomorrow may be shaky
But you never turn away

Don't ask me why I'm crying
Cuz when I start to crumble
You know how to keep me smiling
You always save me from myself
from myself, myself
You're gonna save me from myself

I know it's hard, it's hard
But you've broken all my walls
You've been my strength, so strong

And don't ask me why I love you
It's obvious your tenderness
Is what I need to make me
a better woman to myself
to myself, myself
You're gonna save me from myself..

"All I Need"

Taking my time, seeing the signs
Letting you guide me home
Watching you grow, letting you know
You are my only

Tell you my fears, telling you everything
Telling the truth to you gives me wings
Free with my words, free as a bird
I am flying high looking at you
Everything new, you are my life

I'll feed you, love, and I hope it's enough
To inspire you through suffering, holding you up
I'll feed you, love, and I hope it's enough
To inspire you through suffering, holding you up

You bring me hope when I can't breathe
You give me love, you're all I need
Slowly I'm holding you closely
So happy to carry you inside me

"All That She Wants"

Needed a fight as an excuse
To get away from me, you've misused
Sit there, make me look guilty
You will leave in anyway
But, with me
You have a career? I can't tell
I train you men so well
No more boosting your egos
Come on, you're smoking, what the hell knows

All that she wants is another baby
She's gone tomorrow, boy
All that she wants is another baby

No more chains that you gave me
Enough of pain, now I'm craving
Something sweet, so delight
How can you men stand sleeping at night?
The silly pattern that I followed
I saw my mama being swallowed
By the one, who she loved
He pulled her down, couldn't see up above
Manipulation was his key
He screwed it in, 'cause she was naive
We're not perfect, we must say
But, now I've got to run away ...

JEALOUSY

2011-07-31T04:56:00.001+08:00

I've heard a lot of stories about you...

I think of lot of things I aint suppose to...

I feel awkward...

it was a stupid action...

ermmm... God why do i have this feeling?

of JEALOUSY? why should be?

to whom should i be jealous with? his ex's? friends? colleagues?

can you just take my life away...

or can you just ripped my heart out and leave me with nothing?

i know now...

that i cant do anything to make it back in line again...

and I'm dying because of it~

i'm so STUPID...

YOU KNOW?

2011-07-31T04:43:00.002+08:00

You know...

I just wanna run and grab you and hug you...

I just wanna kiss you...

I wanna hold your hand...

I wanna tell you everything about my days...

I wanna tease you...

I wanna laugh harder with you...

All the urges...

I just wanna be in your arms again...

But cant you imagine standing there, looking at you, and imagining that i wanna do all those things and knowing that i cant?

Yea.. I cant.

The moment i saw you.. that is the moment when all the urges coming to me.. too strong that i wanna stop the time and just be there! Just that one second~

Cant you imagine, sitting next to you, and knowing that i cant lean on to you, hold you hands and talk to you like other gfs did?

I wanna tell you everything... everything.. all!

But i cant...

And seeing you are busy with your cellphones answering someone's call, and don’t even have any idea who it was and knowing that i have to learn that i cant ask you anything? And keep it to myself? just to avoid of the feeling of jealousy..

I tried everything in every second i had with you, to ignore the feeling, the urge to shout that i miss you.. i did..i ignored... but one thing i cant. The pain~ i cant never stop it...

It is hurts. So much. It feels like a knife had been put into your heart and everytime it moves, it gives so much pain. Thats how i felt. But one thing for sure, i like the pain. I bare with the pain cause the pain give me meaning. Its you.

I love you. Always be. and of course I care for you. I miss you. I still cry in my bed. I still think of you every morning, each meals, each drinks i took. Each day, each minutes, each single second, every beat of my heart, every air that i breathe, i still think of you... my heart is always wandering. And i know where it is. It wanders to you. It is still you whom I want.

You know, I didn’t even know how to tell you how i feel. How's my day. What's goin on. What's troubling me. Anything. I desperately wanted you to know. I want to tell you this, i want to tell you that, like this like that.
but I cant.

I don’t know what else to say.. if you happen to read this. Im not glad, im not happy. I rather let you not knowing.

Hurm. I didn’t know when will this be end and we will be okay again? I hope it will happen again. i miss you alot. A lot!!

ALONE

2011-07-31T04:32:00.004+08:00

to YOU,

lately you have been mad at me, due to lot of reason,

i dont know what i did wrong..

i am sorry for my imperfections..

i am sorry for everything...

about the facebook, yes, as you said it is only a facebook..not important at all, not to YOU..

but every girl like me wants to be notice..

i have looks.. but i dont appear..

i am envied with a lot of my friends (especially ur exs)..

they get to put their profile picture and share the same relationship status..

but US? i mean ME, I cant.

i cant understand...

i'm not asking for your sympathy..

i'm asking for more care and attention.

i had done really bad in my past ..

i had dissappointed in myself, my family and friends...

i'm giving up in evrything, but i know i cant give, i must move on...

but i cant go on if you are not around giving my the strength that i always needed...

i need YOU... only YOU....

hope you will know...

how much you really mean to me...

wHo dO U tUrn tO??

2011-07-31T00:22:00.003+08:00

wHo dO U tUrn tO wHen tHe oNlY 1 U cAn tRusT iS tHe 1 wHo mAde U cRy???

hmmhhh.. I don't know what to do, what to think, what to say...
I'm really sad. I really feel I have no 1, no LIFE. NOTHING~
FAMILY?? no.
FRIENDS?? no.
LOVE?? .........
GOD?? I know YOU're listening. THANK YOU.

so many thing has happen. I did feel happy, I still do. but I've been chase with all kind of past memories, from myself, people around me, FROM YOU. yeah, YOU. i do NOTHING, and all those thing just come, forcing me to think about it thoroughly..

Father And Mother, I Love You...
Friends, thanks for being 1.
YOU, I wrote your name on a piece of paper, but I accidentally threw it away.
I wrote your name in my hand but, I washed it off.
I wrote your name in the sand but, the waves ruined it.
I wrote your name in my heart, and there it lived.

I can't be alone. My life are all about these 3 LOVEs. and to be honest, the only LOVE that carry me on to the top, is YOU.

I LIVE because of my Family, I'm happy because of my Friends, I move on when I have YOU.
GOD has brought us together, I just want us to end up WELL.

you have to know that MY WORST ENEMY IS MY HEART, ITS MINE BUT ITS BEATING FOR YOU~

i know i'm not a good GF. i don't trust YOU. i cant, not until you are TOTALLY mine. both of us been terribly HURT. i'm not finding mistakes of yours (i know that's how you see it, trust me, that is only your assumptions), I'm only finding things THAT YOU DID and DO to keep this relationship going well. you hardly have time for me, I understand that. but I desperately need attention and care. i'm to scared of being alone. I AM REALLY SCARED...

but will YOU understand??

11 Signs He’s Not Headed Toward a Relationship With You

2011-07-17T00:02:00.002+08:00

courtesy from http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/11-signs-he-s-not-headed-toward-a-relationship-with-you-2510727/

This happens a lot: you’re dating someone consistently and he seems to really like you, but you get the feeling he’s not gunning for a committed relationship. So what are the specific signs that this guy—as pleasantly as things are going—does NOT plan to stick around long-term? I have somehow read ita nd LOOK INTO it. haha! Here are 11 telltale signs together with my experiences:

1. He texts instead of calls, or he texts more often than he calls. When a guy likes a girl, he wants to hear her voice.
**well, he did both but most of the time, he'll call**

2. He finds reasons to blow you off or be late more times than not. Maybe he’s just flaky or disorganized, you say? Don’t make excuses. If a guy likes you and wants to continue hanging out with you, he’ll find a way to do so.
**err, I did that, he's not. NOT until his friends are all AROUND. erhhhhhh. sorry LOVE. hehe **

3. He talks to his ex-girlfriends. Nothing makes a guy forget his ex like a girl he wants to be with. If he continues talking with an ex, that’s the first sign that he’s either not over a prior girlfriend or he’s just not that in to you.
** THANK GOD, he never did that. and THANK YOU LOVE..**

4. He avoids introducing you to his friends. He should be proud of you, want to show you off, and want to include you in his life.
** again, THANK GOD and YOU, LOVE!! **

5. He avoids even minor instances of intimacy in public. “Listen, not all guys are comfortable with PDA. Not everyone likes to make out for the whole world to see. But when I really like someone, no matter what I’m generally comfortable doing, I’ll at least put my arm around her and give her a kiss on the cheek.”
** hehe... LOVE?? explain this please? ngaaaaaaaaaaa**

6. He doesn’t use the pronoun “we” or use it in the future tense. If he talks about a great new restaurant he discovered, but doesn’t add, “We should go there sometime”—and maybe he just says “I go there a lot”—then he’s not interested in sharing things with you. Plus: “Guys who are into girls want to explore with them—not sit on the couch on every date,”
** hurmm.. it getting lesser and lesser everyday.. i guess. hmmm.. **

7. He doesn’t do something sweet for you at least once a week. That doesn’t mean he’s buying you a dozen roses but he should have said or done something that made you go “Aw!” in the last seven days.
** he sang like every night.. ;p sweettttttttt.. **

8. He doesn’t ask questions about your family and friends.
** FAMILY, he ask about them. FRIENDS? he don't like any of mine? huhu.. **

9. He doesn’t initiate at least 80% of the things you do together. “I call this the 80/20 rule, when I don’t like a girl, the 80% drops significantly. I’m not even aware of it. I’ll get off the phone and never close the conversation with a set of plans.” Note that it doesn’t have to be exact plans, but it should at least be, “Let’s hang out later this week and we’ll do dinner. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

10. He doesn’t remember your one month anniversary.

11. He hasn’t posted a picture of you together on Facebook within two months of the first date. Guys who are excited about you will post and tag your beautiful face!
** LOVE, EXPLAIN!! **

Okay. Hopefully I didn’t depress you. But the message here is, if you want a relationship with someone and he’s acting out the above list, move on. I don’t believe in “waiting it out” or “breaking him down” so he will “come around.” Don’t put up with someone who semi-likes you. Date someone who is dying to be with you. (You will find him—but you have to know you deserve it!!)

PRESENT

2011-07-16T17:40:00.003+08:00

hye2...

Salam. father ask me to create a blog for him and i end up updating mine. thehehe

it have been almost 5months huh? demmit! no 1 to blame except me, ONLY ME. =)

well the job that i had since Oct 2010, i quit the job on June 2011. and i have been jobless since then.

to be honest, i never been jobless this long. haha. i'm comfortable with it tho.

got lots of things that i have to take care of.

1st>> get a driving license. **yeah2, i never have 1. duhhh**

2nd>> get a JOB that pay me a lot.

3rd>> go AWAY. ;)

that should be all, FOR NOW.

missing every1. especially YOU. sorry can no longer be there for YOU as much as i can. but nothing would change. and thats a promise. <3 YOU.

DEVIATION

2011-04-02T00:01:00.003+08:00

holaaa!!

missing this blog. hehh

i noe i type shits. but nvr mind, its all MINE. lalalalalala

DEVIATION?? hahah.. some people stalk on my life.

PATHETIC! yarkss33!!

HELLO!! after people checking out this blog, no 1 will say I'm a GOOD girl la. i myself know who I am. I know I am no GOOD but I am not BAD, thats for sure.

i make mistakes, tons of its. I admit, I HATE SAYING SORRY coz I believe SORRY will never fix anything and OBVIOUSLY it change NOTHING. I am sorry if any peeps around me got hurt from any of my words or acts and never hear me say sorry. tell u what, I wont say it. but I will not repeat it.

but some people, they just dont or CANT accept the fact that they are piece of GARBAGE, who talk shits and even eat it. guess what, THAT IS WHY U R GARBAGE!

RESPECT?? you GAIN it, not simply ask and get IT. I made mistakes, I TRIED TO FIX IT and then LET IT GO. I have no regrets. and I cant say, AT LEAST I'VE TRIED TO FIX IT.

those people who really love to have a look at how I run my life, lemme tell u guys this,

I LOVE MY LIFE, FAMILY AND FRIENDS. I RUN MY LIFE MY WAY. I MAY NOT BE THE HAPPIEST PERSON ON EARTH, BUT I AM REALLY HAPPY KNOWING THE FACT THAT AM STANDING AT WHERE I AM NOW WITHOUT HAVING ANY REGRETS FOR WHAT I HAVE DONE IN THE PAST.

PLAYER? GAME??

2011-03-26T16:50:00.003+08:00

chakkkk!! thehehe

been a very10 long time huh?? ya ya, no time laa... was busy with work. huhuh

me doing very well so far. WORK? it can be easy and hard at the same time. in other word, IT IS A JOB where you have to WORK to get PAID. and my job? i get scolded most of the time and every end of a month I will get paid laaaa... ( WORTH IT.. NO?? OUH WUTEVAAA) hahaha!

FAMILY?? my twin brothers both furthering studies early of Jan 2011. but 1 of them quit only after a week, claim he cant absorb all the new things. my COMMENTS??? ^%$$^$^@@# YOU! thats it.
moral>> please, whatever you've been told, been advise, been guide to do something **esp something new**, TRY to do it, TRY to manage and dont simply give up. life aint easy. to survive in this world are even harder. so better LEARN whenever there is a chance.

RELATIONSHIP??? yeah2, a whole new adventure or journey (whatever you called it, its another chapter in my life btw). new bf. LOVE him, he aint perfect (a proof that he is a human just like me,,ngeeee). why him? well, he is me. yup! he understand whatever I have been through. both used to be a player, both also a gamer. heh.. it might not work smoothly, yet we will at least do our best to be there to guide and support each other. Insya'Allah..

some people wil say I never learnt from my mistake. yet I will told you what I've been doing all these years with my so called BF. I never purposedly hurt him (not if he hurt me), I never lie (not if he lied to me). i might be too friendly, but I know where's the limit and I am not that stupid to go out with another guy even I myself already have 1 (again, not until he did the same thing to me). ouh, guess what, most of the time the excuses given was, U'VE HAD YOUR TIME (wtf???), then I realised that there is no use for me to keep doing the same thing my ex did to me in order to make him realise his mistake. I rather be a good girl for my own sake and dignity. and I believe my new guy understand this thing by now ( we both been through a lot in our life aite Love? ;p )

after all, good girl for good boy, bad boy for bad girl. aye??
and what about me? him? well we are both homosapiens with brain whom have no intention to do any harm to people around us.

ok2, enough with this serious piece. will stop here. gosh!! i forget that I lost my I/C, need to go now!!

ADIOSSSSSSS!!

::SALAM::

2011-02-06T10:17:00.002+08:00

assalammualaikum warahmatullahi wa barakatuh~ **jwb10!**

hehe, in sense early in the morning. ** early kah??

wana share something, may it wil useful for those who read it. ;)

have a book, AYYUHAL WALAD (wahai anak yang tercinta), nasihat2 dari Imam Al Ghazali r.a.

been reading it quite many times, now wana share 1 of it wit u guys. ;)

his last advise was to leave 4things and to do 4things,here some of it~

LEAVE 1>> bahawa seboleh-bolehnya jangan engkau bertengkar dengan seseorang pada apa jua masalah kerana pertengkaran itu mengandungi bermacam-macam penyakit. dosanya lebih besar dari faedahnya. ia punca segala perangai jahat seperti RIAK, HASAD, TAKBUR, DENGKI, PERMUSUHAN dan MERASA BANGGA dengan KEMAMPUAN DIRINYA. jika kau pada hari terheret dalam pertengkaran dan niat hatmu untuk menzahirkan kebenaran, maka di sana ada 2 tanda:

i- bahawa engkau tidak membezakan sama ada kebenaran itu nanti tersingkap melalui lidahmu atau lidah orang lain daripadamu.

ii- bahawa perbahsan itu lebih di sukai seandanya di laksanakan di tempat tertutup daripada tempat yang di hadiri orang ramai.

ketahuilah bahawa menimbulkan suatu KEMUSYKILAN pada suatu masalah itu sama halnya dengan menunjukkan penyakit hati kepada seorang doktor. dan jawapan yang di berikan kepada kemusykilan itu sama pula halnya dengan usaha yang d buat untuk menyembuhkan penyakit hati itu.......... Dan ketahuilah bahawasanya orang yang JAHIL itu adalah orang yang sakit hatinya dan para ulama dan doktor yang pandai mngubatinya. kemudian ketahuilah pula bahawasanya penyakit jahil (bodoh) itu terbahagi kepada 4. hanya 1 boleh di ubati.

3 KEJAHILAN yang tidak terubati dan 1 KEJAHILAN yang mampu di ubati:

i- orang jahil yang bertanya dan menimbulkan masalah kerana di dorong oleh sifat hasad ataupun marah.

>> firman ALLAH; "maka berpalinglah engkau daripada mereka yang telah memalingkan mukanya dari mengingati kami, dan dia sebenarnya tidak menghendaki kecuali kesenangan hidup dalam dunia ini".<<

ii- bahawa kejahilan itu berasal dari kedunguannya (AL HAMAQAH), contoh pertanyaan orang yang dungu ni seperti orang yang baru menuntut ilmu. Ia baru sedikit saja belajar ilmu akal dan ilmu syarak, lalu ia bertanya dan mengi'tiradh terhadap seoran alim yang dalam ilmunya.

>> Nabi Isa a.s; "Aku tidak lemah daripada menghidupkan orang yang telah mati, tapi aku tidak akan berjaya mengubati orang yang dungu".<<

iii- bahawa orang yang bertanya itu memang mengkehendaki petunjuk dan hidayah. tetapi yang di tanyakannya ialah perkatan ulama ahli sufi yang besar besar. maka pertanyaan itu timbul daripada kedangkalan fahamannya. orang yang seperti ini masih jahil dan belum layak untuk memahami perkara2 yang dalam2, maka soalan2 yang seperti ini tidak perlu di jawab.

>>Rasulullah SAW bersabda; "Kami para nabi disuruh mempercakapi sekalian manusia mengikt kadar akal mereka"<<

iv- kejahilan yang boleh di ubati ialah kejahilan pada seseorang yang benar2 mencari petunjuk dan ia mempunyai akal yang baik dan cepat memahami sesuatu masalah. ia bukan di pengaruhi oleh sifat2 jahat dan ia adalah benar2 mencari jalan yang lurus...

LEAVE 2>> Hendaklah engkau merasa takut bila menjadi seorang yang suka memberi nasihat atau memperingatkan orang lain kerana pekerjaan ini banyak mengandungi penyakit, kecuali engkau sudah dapat mengamalkan dengan apa yang engkau katakan maka tidak mengapa engkau menasihati orang lain. tetapi apabila keadaan memaksakan engkau menjadi penasihat maka hendaklah engkau menh=jauhkan dirimu daripada 2 perkara:

i- jangan engkau menggunakan bahasa yang payah2 dalam perkataanmu, seperti engkau suka menggunakan ibarat-ibarat dan isyarat-isyarat ahli sufi dan bahasa-bahasa mereka yang indah kerana Allah Taala itu benci kepada orang yang memaksa-maksa dirinya. orang2 yang suka memaksa-maksa dirinya itu selalunya melampaui batas. di man hal ini menunjukkan atas batin yang rosak dan hati yang lupa.

ii- janganlah hendaknya niatmu dalam memberi nasihat itu supaya makhluk banyak berhimpun di dalam majlismu atau supaya mereka menunjukkan perasaan yang sangat kagum dengan kebolehanmu.

too much to type, do find the book and read it for more. ;)

last but not least:

RASULULLAH SAW. ada bersabda: Ertinya, "sesungguhnya Allah tidak memandang kepada rupa tubuhmu dan bukan pula kepada amalanmu, tetapi ia memandang kepada hati dan niatmu".

renung2kan dan selamat beramal!! **wink2**

:: FITNAH ::

2011-02-03T01:21:00.003+08:00

ALOHAA!!! ;)

lame suda x b'blog. sorry, BUSY LAHHHHHHH~!

heh. too many stories to tell, yet too MALAS to type. haishhhhhhh

tonite, aftr a long time didnt really online, bila online je 1 of my frens inform about a girl marah2 pasal ada ppl making bad stories about her. maka SI REBUNG yang busy body ni trase nk b'blog utk memberi pendapat slps t'bace statement bliau itu~~~

ni pendapat jujo ye MISS...

i really don't know you, but did met u once. i believe u remember me aite?

tell u wat, i do hv this 6th sense taw~ x caye? cube tanye MR BF u sbb i da ckp kt BF u yg u akan jd GF dia. ;)

malas pulak nk type panjang2. cukup la if u sedar, cerita2 x baik yg orang ckp pasal u tuh, u yang undang.

simple example, a guy who obviously ade GF, y u approach? CARI PASAL kn? untung if the guy yg ade GF tuh mmg dalam proses nk BREAK. if tunang org? laki org? playboy? nahhhh.. HAMIK KO fitnah b'gunung~

** BTW MISS, U R LUCKY UR MR BF TUH AKHIRNYA BREAK UP DGN GF DIA. alhamdulillah~ tapi ingat, if its nvr meant for u, u'l nvr hv it. ;D

maka janganlah MISS marah2, mnyumpah atau kciwa dgn fitnah2 tuh ye.. pegi duduk kat 1 corner, pikiaq btoi2, MUHASABAH DIRI n bawak2 brubah ye MISS. yg baik tuh, SIMPAN. yg x baik tuh, BUANG.

ouh, jz in case ur MR BF t'bace post ni, heh, sorry, i believe u noe this 1 coming. better don't call me again and provide me wit all the info's about ur new GF k? ksian bliau. well no hard feeling ya? it jz a personal view from ME, SI REBUNG..

all the SINGLE GIRLS out there, better watch on guy that u approach ye. MAKE SURE HE IS SINGLE ok?

renung2kn and selamat beramal!! LOL

MORE~

2011-01-02T21:34:00.004+08:00

3months... done and gone through a LOT.. hehe

to YOU:

we are not our PAST, but we are whomever we decide to be RIGHT NOW,,

who you are in the PAST, is not who you are NOW,,

you DECIDE who you are in each and every moment,,

your life does not get better by CHANCE, it gets better by a CHANGE~

" 1st scene.. "

2010-12-22T08:13:00.002+08:00

heh.. entry tak boleh blah. ya2, i know~ ("-.-)

okay2,, as i expected, i end up hurting u by just being ME.

sorry... told u this kind of thing wil happen.

it is not that i dont understand. it just, it will take some time before things can really going well between us.

it is not that i intended to hurt u or challenge ur ego n etc. i understand u, ur past. mayb not 100%, yet still, i do understand. i wil b waiting for the time where u r strong and ready enuf to LET IT GO, bury all ur effinggg PAST k? =)

i'l b here la.. no worries. wont go anywher, unless u ask me to do so. =)

**i hope u don't....

" FULL OF LOVE "

2010-12-15T23:25:00.005+08:00

yup yup~ ;p

i love mak, abah, all my siblings and you.

yeah, YOU.

yup yup, YOU la stupid.

maybe it will go nowhere, but its okay.

i just love you~

sorry for the DRAMA earlier. tell u what, i really didnt mean to make u upset or what.

i am scared, that just it. scared of getting hurt and most important thing is, i'm scared that i might hurt u.. really~

in what way?? we'l never know... and thats why i'm scared Sayang.. just so u know, i'l always be here with all the love that u want and need. ;)

to you, yeah, you la stupid! I LOVE YOU~!

"DEAL"

2010-12-12T22:27:00.002+08:00

in case i forget~~

first, I LIKE YOU.

now, I LOVE YOU.

then we have a deal. will love each other til the day we realise " ARE U THE 1 FOR ME? "

til then,we take it as I'm all yours. yet not TOTALLY~

First, i like u. Then i luv u. Now, im afraid to lose u. **COURTESY, ms KINDA EKIN~**

:: EARTH ::

2010-12-12T21:24:00.002+08:00

heh.. entry ntah hape2.

nah, i'm trying to say that we are all steps on the same ground aite? on earth aite? **if u guys reading this from mars or wat, do say hi to me la!!** lol

hmm.. fw days back i came across something that made me pissed off. i hate those who act like they know evrything. if u r REALLY clever and bright, okay la if u want to brag bout it. but the part that made me angry is, u r NOT , then u want to judge me pulak. HAMBOIIIIII~

okay la, i'm not clever la, i admit it. but don't simply commenting me in front of PUBLIC and ask me to not get offended by it. ALAMAKKK... hello, do i look like an alien with no heart and brain??? DUHHHHHHHHH

nasib kau baik la aku tak kuasa nak marah, sebab ABAH da pesan, sesetengah orang pandainya tak boleh di ikut and bodohnya tak boleh di ajar. maka dengan itu, saya mendiamkan diri at the same time gelakkan kau dalam hati. OOOPSSSS... **jahat si REBUNG ni~**

but seriously la, why there are peoples like you ea? i can see u tried so hard to be modern, advance and etc. but somehow i am really disapointed after finding out that u are not even close to it. u proved it urself tau? haisehhhh...

abah kata, "u have to be friend with bright and successful peoples in order for u to be 1, coz u know wat, these peoples have their own point of view in running a great live they living in. be friend with them, then u'l know wat they'r facing, doing, saying so that they be who they are now. thats how u learn to live. learn it from others~"

maybe u should come over, lets have a REAL conversation. ;)

i am no good, i know, but i dont judge people. and i suggest u to not to judging me or others evr again. ;)

thank you~

"HATING WEEKENDS"

2010-12-12T19:46:00.004+08:00

sunday~~ hehe.. i suppose to enjoy weekend. but i don't. don't know why~

missing someone. ya meh?? ngeee... ya la. wat else, ouh, juz some personal problems suddenly pops up! grrrrrrr.....

wat did i do today?? nothing much. been thinking to blog from the past few days.. now only i got the chance to sit down and blog. **clap2** thehehehe

well, my bro **NAZRIN got the offer to ILP, yeah maybe it is not that great, but still, i'm happy and proud of him. ;D (thinking to send his twin bro together with him. lol. to make it worst, put them in a same class. haha! )

urm.. wat more la? urm... any hot topic??

nahhh... not much drama happen lately.

for the past 2weeks, had watch almost all the latest movies. THANKS TO YOU!! lol

:: missing you la stupid!! ;( ::

"Let Me Go"

2010-12-07T07:40:00.004+08:00

One more kiss could be the best thing

But one more lie could be the worst

And all these thoughts are never resting

And you're not something I deserve

In my head there's only you now

This world falls on me

In this world there's real and make believe

And this seems real to me

You love me but you don't know who I am

I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand

And you love me but you don't know who I am

So let me go

Let me go

I dream ahead to what I hope for

And I turn my back on loving you

How can this love be a good thing

When I know what I'm goin through

In my head there's only you now

This world falls on me

In this world there's real and make believe

And this seems real to me

You love me but you don't know who I am

I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand

You love me but you don't know who I am

So let me go

Just Let me go...

Let me go

And no matter how hard I try

I can't escape these things inside I know

I knowww..

When all the pieces fall apart

You will be the only one who knows

Who knows

i noe i'm stupid, really. LOVE,seems like it juz a game. It is LOVE, when ur happy here together or even far apart. but some juz cant stand being apart and its totally not their fault. they juz cant. and bcoz of that, LET ME GO~~

PIECES

2010-12-06T21:57:00.003+08:00

how to start this la.. hehe

ok, i'l just type whatever cross in this pack mind of mine.

well, last month full of big events. and i was like really2 depress. ;)

ok, ALLAH love me, cz i'm here, still typing. OBVIOUSLY. ;p

i'm living my life as usual as i did for the past 4 months, it just, now i spent it more wit my collegues. love u guys so much, thanks for being there.

much closer wit my family. wat more shud i ask for ? i am BLESSED. ALHAMDULILLAH~

so wat else? ouh, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY MY DEAR SUBASH AKA KEVIN!! n congrats on the compliment!!

CONGRATULATIONS to my dear EZRA, AKIL and YUKI for the compliment that u guys got. keep it coming in!!! proud of u!!

n to my dear SSSSSSSSSS, be strong, sort your life out. i will always b here to hear and to help u sort things out. ;) ingat, ALLAH duga kita sebab DIA tahu kita cukup kuat untuk hadapi dugaan yang DIA beri.. please2, stay on the right path, keep ur steps on the track k.

to YOU, our great stories has come to an end. i am no longer your NADIA, not the biatch, not a devoted gf, not even a friend. i'm sorry for not holding on to all those promises i have made. cause i realize there is no way for it to be materialize. so i let u go. i am happy for u. will always pray for ur happiness,will always do. hope u can at least pray for me too. (i know you will ;) n for that, TQ)

ehem, me now officially belong to my PARENTS. THANK YOU!

BEGGAR?? i am,INDEED...

2010-11-04T19:41:00.004+08:00

" Don't beg me coz you're not a BEGGAR~ "

i dont do this begging thing, not that ur eyes cn see. but deep in my heart, and i suppose evry1 too, they are all asking (begging) others to really care about them, too really love them.

" Don't wait for me coz I don't have a waiting list~ "

in other words, you are telling me to go away. CORRECT me if i'm wrong. but i believe its too late now. i'm going now and i'm happy for you. i'm happy for you if you think this is the right thing for you and for me.

" Don't come for as you are LOWER, you won' have me as your SUPERIOR~ "

i'm here, down low. i never want you to be my superior. i just need you to guide me. it just you who keep telling yourself that YOU WANT TO FEEL ON TOP OF THE WORLD, to be a superior. if that's what you really want, now you're getting it from her. and for that, I am happy for you.

" Come and earn me as EQUAL~ "

EQUAL = FAIR.... never ending story huh? we can never be EQUAL= SAME. why you never realise this? its ok. i am really happy for you and her. i will definitely pray for both of you to have a happy ending. Aminnnnn~~

" Won't have you if I still look down on you, COZ I'M AFRAID OF YOU~~~ "

THANK YOU, after more than 3years, now finally you say it. THANK YOU...

***** i am dying. i really am. but the other part of me, i am relieved. I AM. ;D

STUPIDITY~

2010-11-03T16:58:00.002+08:00

lalalalala.. dudududuu...

was reading, and came across these interesting lines....

SHARING IS CARING, aite??? hehe..

1
Don't cry for a guy, let a cry guy for you, because girl give and forgive but guys get and forget~

i wish for this 1 to be SO TRUE. haha.. yet we cant really apply this in every relationship aite?? LOL

2
No one falls in love by choice, it is by CHANCE. No one stays in love by chance, it is by WORK. And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by CHOICE.

SO TRUE. 100% agree with this 1. hehe.... CHOICE. so peeps, MAKE UP UR MIND!!! ;p

tats all for now~

FRUSTRATED~

2010-11-02T14:06:00.003+08:00

happy Tuesday~~ huhu

hmm.. wat to type la?? so many things in this head of mine..
mode at the moment? FRUSTRATED~

wit wat? wit whom? whyyy??? LOL

wit my salary, wit my agent, wit my CLOSE fren, anddddddddd.... i m juz frustrated. ya, thats it~

1 small accident lead to another 1, i don't hv the time to sit and think about wat hv juz happen then new accident pops out. again, FRUSTRATED.

SITUATION 1

me>> why my salary not in yet?
B>> i'm sorry?? gv me ur IC, let me check on the system.
**after a while**
B>> ouh, miss, in the system we cant see ur acc, so ur gettin ur pay in cheque.
me>> but i already gave my acc no, and y only now ur telling me this?!
B>> i'm so sorry miss, i believe 1 of our staff misplaced it.

MAaM, u expect me to accept that excuse???? damn it! hw u run that company la?? n the thing that been on hold, MY SALARY! wat if i dont come up to seek for the explanation? u'l nvr come to me right?? HELLO, THINK LIKE AN OWNER!!! wat if, that is ur salary?? PISSED OFF AITE?? demmit!! okay, let see for next month, if the same thing happen, i' definitely burn ur company down!

SITUATION 2

A>> wats wrong wit u? today u acting 1 kind only?
me>> nothing, i'm fine, i'm ok.
A>> i'm asking a question?
me>> that's it, i answer already wat????
A>> i told u to be straight forward, tell me if thers anything. this is your problem. i dont understand why ur acting like this.

sorry to make u upset wit my silly attitude. me myself also wondering why i cant really TALK to u. guess i just cant, or u can say that maybe i juz dont want to. we'r close, i'm comfortable wit u. n i dont want to ruin it. keep it that way, not more, not less than that. unless u want to play a game, juz let me noe. u noe u can talk to me, n u noe i'l listen to watever u hv to say. til then, i'm stil here, n wil always b here.

SITUATION 3

B>> why i cant do that?
me>> coz i dont like it.
B>> why u dont like it?
me>> coz ur putting ur name and ur reputation on the line.
B>> i noe wat i'm doing. i live my life my way.
me>> precisely! u noe wat u did is wrong, y u keep doing something STUPID?
B>> u had ur CHANCE. u noe wat i meant.
me>> GOOD lah! trying to b fair aite? u'l nvr let it go aite? yes, me a biatch. USED TO. then wats the probs? y u want to b like me?
B>> thats not wat i meant. i juz cant forget it. i'm juz sharing my story and dont expect it to come to this matter.
me>> GOOD lah! very good. i really dont care about it. u want to apply all those bad values in ur daily routines, GO AHEAD. u noe wat i said is true. u noe n u saw the consequences. u n ur EGO, n ur sweet REVENGE. i really dont want to talk about this esp wit u, ur a grown up, but u'r acting and saying something stupid. i m so sick of this. keep saying, keep reminding. so sick!
B>> thats y i dont want to call u, we'l end up fighting....

SIR, ok, u r SOMEONE to me, i'm sorry if from ur point of view, i belong to everybody. i really dont know how shud i explain it. i belong to my Creator, my family. thats all. i like to think that i stil belong to u, but u noe i cant, u nvr ask me to do so. n mayb i juz refuse to belong to u, not now. live ur life, embrace the present, live like thers no tomorrow. those words are all BULLSH!T. i'm living my life nw, for myself, my family and those who loves me. thats wat i expect u to do, obviously I CARE ABOUT U, so please, this 1 time, dont let me down. i had enuf. really~

i used to think that ther is some1, like at least 1 people able to really READ me.
i'm wrong. TOTALLY wrong.

ouh 1 more thing, i dont really say ' I LOVE YOU'. i really dont. i'm sorry...

i am just FRUSTRATED~

CITIBANK

2010-10-15T21:51:00.004+08:00

juz join citibank family on 5th of oct..
**yeah2, i noe, totally weird. but it is really fun OCCAYHHH!

okay, nothing much too type... YET! hehe

our batch which also my new family?? thehehe
**seriously, u guys r all awesome!!!!!

Fern our trainer aka MENTOR

chinta :: vaishu :: amber :: hillary :: yuki :: rowena :: banu :: arthur aka BELLARINA :: sachin netra :: ezra aka DADDY :: kevin aka MY SAYANG :: madhu :: anushka aka RUSSIA MODEL :: maliq :: moose :: chelsea :: rihanna :: akil aka MY DARLING

u guys are all nice to me. hehe.. okay, wil do my best 2b nice to all of u to. wish our relationship will last forever. heart each 1 of u.

lotsa love....
:: PAIGE ::

*** chinta & anushka, i'm gona miss u guys. be happy with ur life and ur new career. keep in touch! ;)

... DANCE ....

2010-10-15T21:27:00.003+08:00

ouh my GUCCI!!!

i don't dance already, pity me. **sobs**
i miss it.
well i'm getting fatter and heavier everyday~~~
ouh, my balance, getting worse i think.
i need that STEPS. huhuhu

ouh, watch this guys!!! i can only feel satisfied in dancing thingy when i can do something like this???? thehehehehehe... AMAZING~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

.. OCTOBER 2010 ..

2010-10-15T21:14:00.002+08:00

hola!

been HIDING for a longgggggggggggggggg time. hehe

no la... busy with Raya, job hunting n etc....

so... what to update?? urm.. i got job already. which the job is SO OUT OF MY FIELD.
but i kinda like it. well, new thing, need to learn, AGAIN....

BE POSITIVE REBUNG!!!!!

my wish and mode at the moment???
1>> i wish i can go out for a walk/jog
2>> i wish i can dance all nyte long
3>> i wish i can be more FIT and HEALTHY and LUCKY. thehehe
4>> i wish i will never gona regret my decision in doing this banking thingy.

so... wat else?? please, dont ask anything about love and boyfriend. huhu.
>>> reminding my ownself. grrrrrrrrr

:: cant wait for my very 1st salary!!! ::

D.O.N.E

2010-09-03T22:42:00.002+08:00

yup2, done my theory exam just now...
100 MCQ in 1 and a half hour..
urm,,, it was OKAY laa... not too hard yet not too easy. heh
i'm relieved.
I REALLY AM~~

went to DEMC to meet our physios there.
ouh myyy.. the new hospital is AWESOME!!!!!
and all of them LOSE WEIGHT. like, A LOT!!!
i miss them like soverydamnMUCH!!!! hehe
talk a lot, share a lot. will miss all the moments.

Madam Zu, Miss V, Miss Ira, En. Suhaib, THANK YOU so much for all the help, the guidances, the support, the spirit in loving our profession. I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER ALL OF U.
thank you~

then went to Plaza Alam Sentral.
BAJU RAYA!!! weeeee... tons of it!! gonna buy it maybe tomorrow??? InsyaAllah~~
went for karaoke too. hehe. crazy~
suppose to accompany ratna's sis in concorde for buka puasa, but buka puasa with her guy n her friends instead.

what a sweet coincidence, we're going to the same restaurant where our other classmates will buka puasa. haha
too late to jon the party so stick to the plan, buka puasa with ratna's guy and friends~

a hectic day, yet I had fun. ;)

UNISELIANS, i heart every each 1 of u. thanks for the memories~
SHAH ALAM, will I be to ur city again after this??? hmmmhhhh

aku PELIK~

2010-09-02T02:40:00.004+08:00

aku PELIK dengan manusia yang SAMPAI HATI.

aku PELIK dengan manusia yang BANGGA & RIAK dengan pengalaman yang tiada ERTI yang PASTI.

aku PELIK dengan manusia yang sanggup BERSENGKANG MATA untuk 'berbincang' hampir SETIAP HARI.

aku PELIK dengan manusia yang BAGUS tapi selalu lupa untuk MUHASABAH diri sendiri.

1>> lau kne batang idong ko?? AGAK2LA sikit**

2>> 1 je komen aku, BASI! **

3>> if ada faedah, xpe. bikin KAYA, xpe. siyes~~**

4>> riak itu tidak bagusss~~~**

aku ni hanye mengejar kejayaan, kebahagiaan dan kesejahteraan hidup.

kadang aku terKHILAF juge.

hanya 1pesanku untuk dirimu, TOLONG JANGAN KAU MINTA DIRI KAU DI BENCI AKU ATAU ORANG2 DI SEKELILING MU~

ikhlas,

SI AKU~~

M.E.R.D.E.K.A

2010-09-02T01:20:00.003+08:00

hype!! a long time huh??? i mean, since the last time i'm blogging. LOL

really10000 busy. with clinical training~~

ouh.. i have COMPLETE my 30weeks of training!!!

and just did my practical exam yesterday.

guess what??? MERDEKA means A LOT to me now. heheh

hows the practical exam???

went OKAY la.. **can't bluff laaaa.. ~~show off~~

ngeeeeee~~

my feeling at the moment??? a bit relief~

yet have reports, logbooks and case studies to work on.

when i settle all 3, HEAD OVER HILL!!!!

yieeehhhhaaaaaaaaaaa~~~

so, do pray for me ya i really do appreciate it. SO MUCH!

THANKSSS!!!!

...figure & shape...

2010-08-04T21:56:00.002+08:00

NADIA >> awak, swimming bgos untuk figure kite ea??? ** u,is swimming is good for our figure??**

LAWI >> yela, ape saye x penah bgtau awak sblom ni? ** yea, like I never told U before?**

NADIA >> then how do u explain the whales??? ;p

LAWI >> they were built in that figure.

NADIA >> so I must be in shape la???

LAWI >> every human should la.thats y ade fitness class and gyms.

NADIA >> ok2, ROUND is a shape too, kan???

LAWI >> yup.. usually it refers to muscles n not lipid fat tho..

NADIA >> ("-.-) =.=!!

... USED vs. LOVED ...

2010-07-19T01:21:00.003+08:00

come across this post from my friend's blog. THANKS Min!

**xdenye ak brani nk tampo ko. n i wil pray for u to b a prime minister. LOL. *i will!

friends, do read~

A story of life...

While a man was polishing his new car,
his 4 yr old son picked up a stone
and scratched lines on the side of the car.

In anger, the man took the child’s hand
and hit it many times not realizing
he was using a wrench.

At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers
due to multiple fractures.

When the child saw his father…..
with painful eyes he asked, ‘Dad when will my fingers grow back?’
The man was so hurt and speechless;
he went back to his car and kicked it a lot of times.

Devastated by his own actions….. .
sitting in front of that car he looked at the scratches;
the child had written ‘LOVE YOU DAD’.

Anger and Love have no limits;
choose the latter to have a beautiful, lovely
life & remember this:
Things are to be used and people are to be loved.
The problem in today’s world is
that people are used while things are loved.

Let’s try always to keep this thought in mind:
Things are to be used,
People are to be loved.

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character;
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

IF TOMORROW NEVER COMES...

2010-07-17T00:43:00.002+08:00

what a talented guy~

kinda in love with this guy.

he MOVED me. hehe

watch it guys!

you just a kid & u barely know how exactly the WORLD is spinning

2010-05-16T11:40:00.003+08:00

i actually upset at this moment..
peoples.. are unpredictable. their heart, mind.
tend to be GOOD in front of us, but behind us?? GOD knows~~

I have to say I AM NO GOOD but I AM NOT THAT BAD.. (well BAD is very subjective~~)
I trust almost nobody. and I have concrete reasons for that. don't blame me.

so let me start..
get to know an innocent girl 1 year back. a freshie.
help her by showing her around our place in Shah Alam n etc.
advised her on how to run a proper life in this new place.we're quit close at 1st.
i help her with study, assignments, test...

after few months, she's joining a group.
and she started to change.
trying to be just like other people in the group.
she bcomes such a rude, selfish, arrogant (MISS PERFECTO WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING)~~
erm.. i just say that she bcome a LOSER and POSER. sorry kid.

for the last few months we're not really talking to each other due to some personal issues.
and I'm the kind who dont give a SH%& to people who talking behind my back. but when it comes to my ear from a very convincing sources/peoples, U'l see my true colors.

few nights ago a friend asked, do i realized that THE GIRL has changed?
well,sure i did. so that friend tells me 1 after 1 thing that THE GIRL said behind my back.
i'm shocked, PISSED OFF!! grrr

1>> betul ke kak nad tu royalty??
2>> if betul, kenapa umah dia biasa2 je??
3>> betul ke kak nad tu pandai sangat??

and some other stuff too.

well dear, my answers would be;

1>> my 1st name should tell you EVERYTHING. ouh.. mayb u r TOO STU#@& to see it. and if i'm not pun, apa kau nak sibuk kan?? duhhh..
2>> alahaiiii... okay, i'm living in a double storeys house, a corner lot. ouh, and my PARENTS own IT. and u know what, for details, DO COME OVER and see it with your own EYES. u r WELCOME to my HEAVEN. ;D
3>> am I that clever??? what a stupid question. WHO HELPED u in ur study for the past 1 year? wanna see my result slip? or my SPM certificate? okay, i admit, I AM NOT THAT BRIGHT but.. I AM 10x CLEVER THAN YOU. and u know that kiddo. loserrrr~~

haishh.. adik, i've been patient for almost 5months now.
but what u said behind my back, thats really hurts. ur lucky that i'm FAR here. if not...

here what i want to say, (IT HARSH, but its FACTS) accept it.

1>> r u now living in ur parents house? or it just ur dad's?
2>> the money u have, is it all yours?
3>> do u have FRIENDS???
4>> when are you going to LEARN??

dik, akak tau akak pn ade silap but akak xpnah m'aibkan adik.
kekayaan and ksenangan adik bkn milik adik, tp milik adik2 tiri adik. tolong sedar.
jgn nak kutuk orang, cermin diri tu.
at least kn dik, akak x batak jantan, and x jakun naik kete import.
ouh.. maybe adik xtau, ayah akak hanya bawak BMW, Mercedes and Volvo.
akak tak penah bangga dgn nama yang akak ada, akak b'syukur di lahirkan bertuah.
ape la ade pd nama if dada ni KOSONG dik? nama tu x kmane.. mcm kkayaan jgk. kaya tp bodoh, mcmane nk maintain kaya kn?
n dgr kate adik nk stop blaja kt sana sbb dpt tawaran lg bgus ( bgosla klau btol), kt tmpt bru tu nanti, bwk2la brubah and sedar diri ye?
paling penting, mulut tu jage, bg wangi sikit. muke cantik tp mulut busuk, x gune dik oi.
awak muda lg,so jgn la b'lagak dgn akak2 and abang2 yg ada skrg. jgn smpai ktorg benci.
semua org pn da mnyampah dgn sikap prasan bgos, prasan pandai adik tu.
u have to accept that u cant compare urself with us, ur NOBODY.
so mould a new character and attitude, a GOOD 1. and u'll be FINE.

INSYA'ALLAH~~

ikhlas....

TAMAN SINAR HARAPAN K.K.B

2010-05-06T21:26:00.002+08:00

ok..skip the post about my birthday..
erm,mayb a bit la. hehe
i celebrate it with my love. thanx to YOU. love u.
n to all my friends,thanx 4 d wishes~~

now i'm in KKB,doin my training here for the next 2months starting May,3rd.
so...what shud i say?i mean about this new place..

new house... i feel calm.. PEACE. ;p

erm,TSH KKB, here ,they put those OKU people (mostly bedridden with Cerebral palsy and autism) and all we can do for them is maintaining their present condition.
ouh..n got some mental patient (the aggressive 1) huhu

so... do pray for my safety here ya?

thanx!!!

APRIL '10

2010-04-13T20:20:00.003+08:00

hye~~~
yeah2..i didnt update my blog for a longggggggggggggg time.
too bz+ lazinesss~~~

so..
let jz say..
life have been OKAY,so far.
sure theres many problems tho.like owez (financial probs,friendship,love life,family,WORK)...
i just dont have the idea on how to put it all down...

FINANCIAL
***there is HUGE increase (rent) in my so called 2nd home in shah alam (triple than usual) !!! due to PAIP BOCOR~~~
***need lotsa money this month since its my final months here in shah alam and DEMC. need to buy SOMETHING for those in our department. ("-.-)

FRIENDSHIP
***met many of my primary n highschool classmates, HAPPY!!!!! (even thru FB.hehehe)

LOVE LIFE
***going SMOOTH....going nice and steady with the flow.
*** in <3 (^^,)

FAMILY
***those in JB miss me so much.hahah! i miss them too. LIKE CRAAAAAAAAAAAAZY!!!
***wishing this would last FOREVER~~~

WORK
***final week in DEMC. (shud be ended on April 16)
***have to replace 4days due to MC's,so i'll only goin back to JB after 20. **sob3**

so...WHAT ELSE?????

ouh.....its APRIL okay??
i mean, APRIL.
GOT IT??
thehehehehehehe

mode>> SO DAMN EXCITED

WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN"T LOOKING~~~

2010-03-21T20:22:00.006+08:00

When you thought I wasn't looking
I saw you hang my 1st painting on the refrigerator,
and I immediately wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn't looking
I saw you feed a stray cat,
and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking
I saw you make my favorite cake for me,
and I learned that the little things can be the special things in life.

When you thought I wasn't looking
I heard you say a prayers,
and I knew there is a GOD I could always talk to,
and I learned to trust in HIM.

When you thought I wasn't looking
I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick,
and I learned that we all have to help to take care of each other.

When you thought I wasn't looking
I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it,
and I learned we have to take care of what we are given.

When you thought I wasn't looking
I saw how you handled your responsibilities,
even when you didn't feel good,
and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking
I saw tears come from your eyes,
and I learned that sometimes things hurt,
but it's alright to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking
I saw that you cared,
and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking
I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know
to be a good and productive person when i grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking
I looked at you and wanted to say,
"THANKS FOR ALL THE THINGS I SAW WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING."

``` SATU ```

2010-03-08T23:02:00.005+08:00

Bila ku dengar
Irama lagu yang satu
Hati bertambah sayu
Terkenang kampung halamanku

Nah ! Di sini ku berdiri
Kau akan melalui
Ku pernah merasai

Heyy !

Ahh !! Garam pernah ku rasa
Intan dengan permata
Sudah dapat dibeza
Kematanganmu juga nampak dewasa

Langit yang ku junjung
Bumi yang ku pijak
Irama rentak lagu
Tiada bezanya

Ikutilah rentakku
Hayati irama
Berganding kita bersama

Kini kita berdua
Megah meranjau masa
Engkau dan aku sama
Tiada sempadan usia

Jejak dan langkahku
Kekadang keliru
Menangis tiada lagu
Tunjukkanlah haluan
Agar tidak tertunggu

Heyy ! Kini tiba ketika
Joget zapin dan inang
Kita akan berdendang
Langkah kiri dan kanan
Bersama tiada bezanya

Heyy ! Kini tiba ketika
Joget zapin dan inang
Kita akan berdendang

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLr3IBWCI7E&feature=related

????

2010-03-08T02:04:00.003+08:00

CLUELESS~~~~

idk wat to think..
i have no 1..
no 1...

i'm so LONELY~~

desperate??idk..

y is it so hard?
how to make things right??

i'm dying...
yeah..this feeling makes me dying..

u dont want me,u want me
u love me,u hate me
u said 1'm d only 1,u said u just cant

i'm already GONE..did i??
but i've came back.

u still there,right?
or is it wrong?

so wat should i do?
wat should i say?
wat do u want?

FAIR~~

u keep saying about that.
wats wrong wit u??y dont u understand?y is it so HARD???

i dont ask much..
i hope u'l bring a BETTER FUTURE in my life..
i dont want to FALL on my face AGAIN..

if u want to go,please go.for REAL.

i never promise u that i'l change like u did,n u lied.
i nvr promise anything,but i'd try my best to b better but somehow u changed too.to some1 else n u said bcoz u want to b FAIR.
wth is that??

REVENGE??
dont u know wat i'v gone thru?
wat i really feel?
yes..idk yours too.
but wat u do now,its killing me.

should i say THANKS to u?
can i ask for MORE of it?

and...

ARE U HAPPY DOING ALL THIS???
SATISFY maybe???

in my past,i FALL like trillions times (u know the whole story)..
n i know its bcoz me my stupid belief n ego n everything.
then i found u,lost u,came back to u,away from u,giving chance 2u,GONE,came back..

n u?wanted to b FAIR?
dont u ever think that u DOUBLEing my PAIN just bcoz u want to b fair??
wat do u get from doing all that??wat shud i think of u?
hw cn i trust u?depend on u?look up to u?

HOW???

sunday morning

2010-03-07T08:14:00.002+08:00

good morning~~

hmmhh..i'm fine. i mean,physically GOOD,maybe GREAT?? huhu
but..emotionally..NOT VERY~~

going to work in a bit.

yeah~~ i'm working on sunday,didnt i mentioned before??

WORK~~!!

that's make me focus on 1 thing only.nothing else..just work..

so....b strong REBUNG! b GOOD!!!

to EVERYONE>> have a nice weekend!! **wink2**

>>>>> here i m, AGAIN~~~

2010-03-06T00:26:00.004+08:00

ok..i did say i'm not gona write ABOUT LOVE..ok,i have to cancel dat 1.
i loves bein in love.i hate being on my own.
it just ME.SELFISH me~~

how shud i put it down in words?
i broke up wit d last guy,last dec.
found out that i just cant stand him. NO CHEMISTRY.

ouh..wat i learn from that r'ship is, i need:
>> an educated guy
>> a confident and hardworking guy
>> honest
>> most importantly, LOVE me n ACCEPT me.

cut it SHORT, after sometime breaking up wit d latest guy,i get in touch wit my ex,d 1 dats suppose 2noe me by heart....

its not easy..after some complicated issues n STUPID acts done,we somehow getting back together.

i must say i did think of wat people might say about THIS behind my back, u know, i dump him, then come back to him.n all that stuff~~~

n of coz,his feelings.he saw me walk to another guy n now i'm walking to him.i understand that.
I AM,REALLY....

but i remains silent,refuse to think about it,refuse to talk about it coz i dint do it on purpose or bcoz i want it.

IT IS NOT THAT!

i just dont to talk about it cz i thought he undrstand that those things come from him too.
i've walk away, FOR REAL! n i came back.

1>> he know i love him so damn much.he saw all sacrifation i'v done.
2>> he keep questioning my social life (wher i obviously get IT under control)
3>> i walk away coz he WANTED TO BE THE OLD ME. 'being FAIR'. dats wat he wants.
4>> i came back coz i hv no 1 to trust,to share everthing with, to understand except him.and he know that very well.

but idk.me,myself...SELFISH??CHEAP??SLUT??PIECE OF SHIT??

idk...

I REALLY DON'T... T.T

If I changed my mind,
if I changed my faith,
every time a stop light signaled
each time I made mistakes
I don't think that I
would be where I am today
I live my life without regrets
what you see is
what you see is what you get
And I'm

Unashamed of the life I lead
unashamed of the strength on my knees
of choices I've made,
of the love that I've saved
of the things I've done,
my belief in the One
Unashamed of the words of my friends,
i know who they are
make mistakes, make amends
follow my instincts, my star
on my sleeve i wear my heart
unashamed

Adding up my life, it totals all my dreams
I'm counting all my blessings
and the gifts I have received
Still there's always someone
something to overcome
Took all my life to understand
that I am what I am, who I am
unashamed

(Do you)
do you wanna know how it goes?
Do you wanna control how I feel?
Do you wanna stay in my life?
Then listen here, and listen good,
you got to get it,
got to get it right!
I'M Unashamed

(say what you want)

i have a PRIVACY concern

2010-03-05T23:52:00.004+08:00

just deleted my Facebook, Friendster, and Myspace Acc...
reason??? as in this POST title.

i d k wat to do
wat to think
wat shud i feel

selfish?
cheap?
too friendly?
daring?
not sensitive?

darn it! tears go away. please~~

juz a lil clue on hw i'm actually feel...

Share my life, take me for what I am
Coz I'll never change all my colors for you
Take my love, I'll never ask for too much
Just all that you are and everything that you do

You see through, right to the heart of me
You break down my walls with the strength of your love
I never knew love like I've known it with you
Will a memory survive, one I can hold on to?

I don't really need to look very much further
I don't want to have to go where you don't follow
I won't hold it back again, this passion inside
I Can't run from myself
There's nowhere to hide
Your love I'll remember, forever

Well,don't make me close one more door
I don't wanna hurt anymore
Stay in my arms if you dare
Or must I imagine you there
Don't walk away from me no...
Don't walk away from me
Don't you dare walk away from me
I have nothing, nothing, nothing
If I don't have you
Thank you, thank you very much!

***reactivated my FACEBOOK~~

...PIECES of LIFE...

2010-03-02T22:51:00.012+08:00

duno wher to start..
i miss HOME

miss them

want to back to JB... TT

ouh, last week LAWI n me went to Kuala S'gor (got the chance to see his high school, KUSESS)

then we went tu Bukit Malawati

n then, I CITY

dats all 4 diz post~~

february.....

2010-02-28T13:55:00.002+08:00

hype!!!

ow...due to that dengue fever, i skipped 2weeks of my clinical training session.
>>> i have to replace 10days from 14days MC n i'm on it.
worse, i'm doing my 2nd training session at the same place n the Head of Department wants us to work 6 DAYS A WEEK! i'v replaced 5 days, n for the next 5weeks, i'l b working 24/7.

great~~~

but i must say i'm okay with it..PLEASURE~~

other story, i've met the most crazy BIATCH ever n she used 2b some1 really close,some1 that i trust.
she turn outto b an IBLIS~~ bye BIG SIS aka JAHANAM refugee~~

wat more?? ouh.. in some place wher i call 2nd home, i'm a BLACK SHEEP.hard to explain.easier wen i said i rather b away than staying in.dont want to lose my head n drown~~ down~~~
i rather remain silent than making TROUBLE like those BIATCHES made.
like always...BUZZ OFF!!!

last but not least, its February. hehe~~

january..

2010-02-28T13:47:00.002+08:00

salam....

didnt BLOG 4 a longgggggggg time. huhu

wat cn i say.. busyyyyy~~~

with practical...some stupid personal probs...n health probs.

ow...i suffered from dengue the end of january.
been warded, almost die.. yet here i m. ;) ALHAMDULILLAH~~

**our late Sultan passed away...
**realised that i hv to WORK harder~~

u know...i'm getting serious in this PHYSIOTHERAPY thingy..imma go for IT!

BEDRIDDEN *

2010-01-16T20:34:00.003+08:00

yeah2..i'm sick... AGAIN...

wats with my IMMUNE laa???? never been sick like this. i mean, keep having this fever and stuff..

and lasnyte, thats the worst. SO FAR....

after lunch, taking nap in the physiotherapy ward for like 50 mins, woke up n i can feel my heart beats is extremely SO FAST!! then i felt some kind pain on both of my palm plus i'm shivering..

duhhh.. i need my hand to perform percussion OK!! huhu
yet i manage to overcome the pain after taking painkiller...i hv to ok.. sob3

then went back home.. n my head spin like..hurm.. u spin my head right round round round when u go down when u go down down. eh..bukan2. i mean migrain. huhu

suddenly my body heating like i'm on a BBQ rod. dammit. n my back.. goddddd...

i got pain right from my back down to my thigh i cant barely get up from my bed.

what did i do then??
**change my clothes on my bed, put on sweater
**call MAK, cried like a lil baby (its painful ok, i mean my backpain.never having such pain!)
**call lawi ask him if he free yet he's not (but justnw he came n brought me to clinic)

cut it short, i'm fine now. the back pain is somehow "GONE". 4ever i hope. please10!!!
migrain?? decreasing..alhamdulillah...
fever??guess i'l b completely healthy by 2moro (I"M A GOOD AND STRONG GIRL >>girl ke??hik3<< I SUPPOSE)

ow... i skip my work today. huhu

*** sorry miss fira n miss vithya.. really sorry.. ***

thats all 4 now. chaO~~~

~ wedding (abang An+ kak Yati) & KLCC (wit Lawi) ~

2010-01-11T01:47:00.008+08:00

so SELAMAT PENGANTIN BARU abang An (he's ratna bro) ;)

went to reception on ratna's family..

the weddding took place in PALACE OF JUSTICE at PUTRAJAYA.

since i'm kind of cam whore..so..

wit Att n Eila

wit mr.Mutawalli

striking a pose. lol lol lol

NEXT??? went to KLCC. watching OLD DOGS. hilariously FUNNY!!! haha..

a great weekend..(still..mind the raise in registeration fees>> UNISEL S&*%S!!!!) huhu

goody2 2shoo ME. hehe

told ya i'm GAINING (look at those cheeks) huhu

fat fat fat!!!

~ 1st week of TRAINING ~

2010-01-11T01:00:00.008+08:00

hurm..1st week..

nothing much.. no bully sessions...YET..lol lol lol

owhhmost of the patients is from pediatric ward. and there's some musculoskeletal cases too.

we manage to learn (againnn) and handle ULTRASOUND machine, INFRA RED, TENS, hot and cold packs and other ELECTROTERAPY treatments.i feel GOOD.i mean i'm not good in handling this thing back in class.huhu..now i think,no no, now I CAN DO IT.yes! I CAN DO IT. \(^o^)/

ouh..a lil hi lite (err.shud i say, SHOW OFF???hahaha)

I DID SUCTION PROCEDURE!!! yay!!!!!

but...on a 4months old baby.Putera Eskandar..sorry baby.huhuhu

note>> i skipped my 2nd day due to my swollen upper left lip.huhu (not gona tell how it happen.huhu)

so wats more ea?? dats all 4now i guess. ;)

here some photos...

me in clinical shirt

babies sputum on our very 1st day of training

me and Es

HERE WE GO!!

me

so thats it.. for now. ;)

Jan 4 2010

2010-01-04T20:21:00.003+08:00

1st day...

-arrived at DEMC at 8.20am (working hours ~9am-5pm~)
-went to physio department, met Madam Zubaidah, Miss Zafira and Miss Vidhtya
-a little briefing on what we're about to do in our 6weeks training
-get our 1st patient at 8.30am (yeah,dat early.huhu). a 55years old women with pneumonia.
-we watched the Physio's do the 'percussion' n start doing it on the patient

>> i cant do percussion!!! huhu..sad3..idky......i cant keep the rthym of clapping,cant evn make cup shape!!! duhhhhh....lack of practice i muz say.
>> yet i perform vibrates n shaking really well (stronger n more effective than Akmal did,they say.hehe)

-but til the end of the day, we got many cases from Pediatric's ward.
-5months baby boy, got sputum, we hv to drain it out. by 'SUCTION'.gosh...i just cant put it down in words..huhu.its not bad coz we're trying to help to clear the baby's airway.yet the procedure somehow mayb too cruel.huhu

>> by the end of the day.....

BACK PAIN!!!!!!

so that's it for today...later

>>> CLINICAL TRAINING!!! <<<

2010-01-04T19:58:00.003+08:00

yes! i'm doing my very 1st clinical training!!

so the details will b;
>> focus on musculoskeletal and cardiorespiratory
>> doing it in Physiotherapy Department,Darul Ehsan Medical Centre,Shah Alam
>> together with Nur Adiratna and Muhd Akmal
>> 1st session will b only 6weeks.

so wish me luck!!!

**wink2**

...new year celebration!!...

2010-01-04T19:16:00.005+08:00

hye againnnnn.. ;)

so lets start with, i'm SINGLE.

yeah2..its true.diz player really is SINGLE.ngeee~~~

ok..enuf.this 2010 i dont want to talk about LOVE.maybe~ lol lol lol

cut it short, i celebrate new year with my closest fren back home in JB, Ara.n d next day, with my ex who now is my close friend. ;)

here some of our pic!

ARABELLA

me myself in I CITY (more to city of light!)

me n SI PANJANG

HAPPY 2010!!!!

HELLO 2010!!!

2010-01-04T19:14:00.002+08:00

salam.. hye..

so here we are..in new year..GOD.. its 2010??great huh?

yeah...new year.new EVRYTHING.

so WATCH OUT!!! ;)

MYSELF...

2009-08-22T17:47:00.002+08:00

1st Ramadhan... again. Alhamdulillah.. =)

but i cry a lot, starting from habis tarawikh til asar tadi. hehe...

let u go.. let me go. wil we do it? i mean, for real?? its not easy. never will.. i d k..

me..
i never end up wit some1 i like. but whoever willing to stay, to love, to care, to protect me, then i'l stay with him...

me..
emotional.... kuat merajuk. kuat jealous..

me..
willing to listen to whatever her love 1 need to say.

me..
doesn't like to b alone. never want to b alone.

me..
doesn't like to b ignore n hanging on something where ther is no concrete reason or answer..

me..
wil b COMPLETELY crazy wenever she emotional. she willing to say the most dirtiest thing on earth but she'll recover soon after she let everything out of her chest..

me..
quite a good drama queen... wil say dat she'll harm herself just to keep some1 she love, to keep him stay..

now she's on her own again. falling again. with no 1 lend her a hand.

to u.. i do love. wish i can get over u..

to some1 out there, my savior (maybe??).. this is me.

i'm sorry..

Abah and Mak!

2009-08-11T12:18:00.003+08:00

i miss them. seriously. more than ever. worry about them. i d k y...

i didnt go back to JB like more than 2months. abah keep calling n askin me to come back to JB. but i said i cant, due to my part time job b4 my class starts next week (17th Aug)..

n there's some personal conflict that i had this past few months... i just dont have the guts to go back to JB. i rather stay here n finish my school 1st. then i wil go back to JB n bring my DIPLOMA. so my parents wil b happy. thats my plan. but now.. i d k..

abah text me yesterday, "abah d hospital, buat radiotherapy yang 1st out of 25sessions,kena buat tiap2 hari"

then i call, abah with mak. he's driving on his own to the hospital. i cried. if only i'm in JB.. my sis bz with her job. my bro din have the license yet...
n abah also said, Mak's blood pressure is high its 205 over 90. i wuz like, WHAT??????!!! dat is DAMN high. normal is 120 over 80. i didnt talk to mak for 2months also, merajuk i muz say. n now i really want to talk to her, i'm so worry. but i d k wat to say so i said to abah, "kirim salam mak, cakap kat mak jgn tension2". dats it. i d k wat more to say... ='(

after that i end up crying for the whole nyte. i d k wat to do. half hearted. i want to go home, but my ego said "NO". i really dunno wat to do.

i'm so sad. no. i'm really2 sad... =(

Mak Abah, Dya minta maaf lame tak balik. taknak susakn abah. n taknak buat mak risau. Dya ok kat sini. Dya blaja elok2, Dya janji. Dya janji akan buat Mak Abah bangga dengan Dya. Dya janji takkan kecewakan Mak Abah. Dya janji. Dya minta maaf if ada klakuan Dya buat Mak Abah kecil hati. Dya minta maaf. harap Mak Abah doakn kjayaan Dya slalu. Dya doakn Mak Abah sehat sentiasa. aminnnn..

LOAN>>HOLD?????!!!

2009-08-11T12:14:00.002+08:00

yup.. my loan is been hold. dammit...

coz of this onestupiddocument..

so i went to damansara, sign some doc n they say the money wil come in a bit. early october.

IN A BIT>>> EARLY OCTOBER???? wut da hell on earth??

i need money!! give me the money laa!!!!!!

sad (>.<)!!!!!

wish...

2009-08-03T21:59:00.003+08:00

today i'm settling my register fee for diz coming new term.
done it at BANK ISLAM.. rm250.
wil b registering for new term on 12 til 14 ou august. cant wait!!
i miss schoolllllll..... =( sob3

pay my house rent already..

so thats it.

it just....

bile loan nak masuk nihhhhhhhhhhh???!!!! help!!!!!!!!

THE PROPOSAL

2009-08-03T21:48:00.003+08:00

wat a weekend..

i didnt see him for a week. bored like hell.

til dat saturday nyte he text me n ask me to get ready for tomorrow. A DATE!! weeeee.. =p

i miss him. i'm excited til i didnt sleep dat nyte. LOL!! yet fall asleep at 5am. ngeee

so the day is here!!
woke up at 9am... mandi manda..
and he arrived at 11.30am (an hour and half LATE)..

we went to stadium melawati for the bazar..
then to bukit tinggi, wathing THE PROPOSAL!!! =)

mannnnnnn... its hilarious!! i swear. its all ther. comedy, romance, action. GREAT!!

i love it!!!

so thats my weekend.. =)

THE RULES!!!

2009-07-28T17:03:00.000+08:00

The female always makes the rules
The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
No male can possibly know all the rules.
If the female suspects the MALE know all the rules, she must immediately change some or all of the rules.
The female is never wrong.
If the female is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was a result of something the male did or said wrong.
The male must apologize immediately for causing said misunderstanding.
The female may change her mind at any time.
The male must never change his mind without the express written consent of the female.
The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
The male must remain calm at all times unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.
The female must, under no circumstances, let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry and/or upset.
The male is expected to mind read at all times.
Any attempt to document the rules could result in bodily harm.
If the female has PMS, all the rules are null and void.
The female is ready when she is ready.
The male must be ready at all time.
The male who doesn't abide by the rules can't take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp.

.. UPS and DOWNS ..

2009-07-26T20:53:00.002+08:00

in a fight, broke up and like always, we get back together.. AGAIN.

yup. wenever we get in a fight, we end up maki2, n blaming each other. telling ourself, 'THATS IT!!' not going to get back or give u another chance. u know? the EMO me... =)

ouh this time, i thought he got another girl, too afraid that he'll 'kantoi' so he digging up the past & put all the blame on me. i was like "Y ALL THE SUDDEN U GET UPSET? PMS?". after few days, went to see his click, IZ. from Iz i got to know that he actually jealous. DAMMIT!! is it so hard to say that ur jealous????

thats him. always make things complicated.

then i met him, dinner, talk, heart to heart. EASY isnt it? just tell me la sayang, jangan tibe2 nak ngamok, mngalahkan saya PMS.

p/s.. Y after all i've been through, all the pain, I still get back with him? FAITH. coz i have faith in him.

i love you...

.... break ....

2009-07-26T20:44:00.002+08:00

its Unisel semester break, going to register for the new term on august 12-14...

work... i'm doing okay. yeah its a tough job yet since i need money so i'm willing to do it as long as it didnt put myself in trouble. =)

ouh..btw, my boss is a chinese. she always ask me, "r u tired? go take 5 laa.. then get back to work!" ngaaaaaaaaa...
she said, nowadays everybody wants lotsa money. she's right. and she also said, you want money you have to work hard, play hard. if you work but you dont feel tired, you'll get money but you'll never get rich.

THINK THINK THINK

p/s.. BILE LOAN NAK MASOK????!!!

exhausted+MISSING

2009-07-14T21:42:00.002+08:00

i already work for a week now..

tired. nO... exhausted i muz say.

but its ok, i can manage dat. =)

ouh.. abah called justnow.

i miss him. worry.

n i miss mak too. i d k wat to say anymore.

just..

I MISS U..

LOVE ???

2009-07-11T18:04:00.002+08:00

curi frOm QIQI. LOL..

His Birthday: September 8, 1985

How long have you been together? TOGETHER? hurm.. 1 year and 3months..

How long did you know each other before you got together? a month. LOL!!

What physical features attracted you to him first? His height. His skin colour. his smile. *wink2*

Hair color: black.

Hair style: adesh.. yang ni susa nk explain. wawawawa

How did you know each other? from Mat Top. huhu

RELATIONSHIP STUFF

How serious is it: KINDA

Are you in love?: err.. yeap.

Do your parents like him: i d k.

Does it matter?: suppose to.

Do you trust him? Yes, i do.

Do you like the way he smells: hehe.. ya.

Can you picture having kids with him: yup. a girl>> BASMA. a boy>> dunno yet

Does he have a temper? yes. but i have bigger 1. m i?? lol

Are you happy to be with him: yes.

Does he embarrassed you in public: ALWAYSSSSSSS... nah.. joking.

SOME OTHER STUFF

Does he have any piercings?: its a NO NO.

Does he have any scars that you know of?: yup.. a lots.

Is he a party dude or stay at home kind of guy?: home kind of guy..

Is he Outgoing or Shy? outgoing. he love to try to do new things. =)

Does he love his mama? Yes, anak mak.

Would he hang out with you and YOUR friends? not really. depends la. if he know them, then he'll join us.

Does he sing? yea!!!

Does he snore? i d k.

Do you like his friends? yup2..

Michael

2009-07-11T17:18:00.002+08:00

lawi told me.. some says that usually those who have 'MICHAEL' as their 1st, middle or last name is "somebody". like michael shumacher, michael jordan, michael jackson....

ok.. i'm carried away.. i muz say. suddenly all peoples admitting that they loves MJ so much. frankly speaking, i'm not a big fan of him. but i have to say i know almost everything he's been thru, obviously bcoz its on PAPER, in the internet. u know? since he is somebody right?

pedophilia.. gay.. plastic surgeries.. neverland.. bancruptcy.. prince michael I, paris, blanket.. and etc..

since i'm not a fan of him, so i dont really care about all that. really. his life. so what?

but june 25, i must say i'm shocked. he's gone. well i'm waiting "THIS IS IT" concert. i want to c him. is he stil great? is he stil got da move? u know.. i want to really watch MICHAEL JACKSON.
but.. he's gone. May GOD bless him.

it make me watch 1 of his video, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I NEVER WATCH IT !! i cried. YES,,, i cry like watching 1litre of tears. dammit! sob3

few days passes.. still, wenever he's story on the news, i suddenly cry. he is somebody. i look for his biography and stuff. i read all the story. and this is wat i have to say.

at least the past 10years, he's never happy. HE's a grown up man. but his heart, mind.. he is still a kid. yes, he is not normal. ARE WE NORMAL EITHER??? he's growing up in front of thousands eyes since he was 5. can u imagine that? he barely know wat NORMAL is. i'm sure, all his life, he want to make other people happy. and here, i say, HE IS NOT A PEDOPHILE. he loves kids, i mean LOVE=CARE. y? becoz dun get the chance to really been loves and care by a real ADULT! he been in this field (entertaiment) coz he want to change his family life. he did it.

somehow i feel like, everybody that close to him, that he trust, took advantage on his kindness. really. too much too say bcoz i got to know who MICHAEL JACKSON is only after he's gone.

yeah.. shame on me..

n still, i'm crying.. i d k y. =(

i think i love him.

to MJ>> u will owez b in our heart, u've change the world. thats what u want, n u have to know that u've made it. May GOD bless your soul. and now, all this people, wil totally leave u alone. and they will owez remember u and all ur songs.. I LOVE YOU.

its for you, FRIEND....

2009-07-04T03:04:00.004+08:00

personal issues>>> DRAMAS!!!

here's the TRUTH, this is what i think about BEING a FRIEND..

"Friendship is always a sweet responsibilty, never an oppourtunity."
- Kahil Gibran

"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow.
Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.
Walk beside me and be my friend."
- Albert Camus

"Strangers are just friends waiting to happen." – Steve

"I can trust my friends. These people force me to examine, encourage me to grow."
-Cher

"I can doubt my friends, but I can believe in our friendship."

"You are you and I am I,
You do your thing and I'll do mine,
and if in the end we meet up together,
it is beautiful."
-Boy Meets World

and this is what i'm expecting FRIENDS should be and should DO..

"Best friends are like diamonds, precious and rare
False friends are like leaves, found everywhere."
- Anoymous

"Everyone is a friend, until they prove otherwise."

"Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them to become what they are capable of being."
-Goethe

i hope YOU (my friends) can truly and sincerely accept ME as ur FRIEND. and i have to say dat i agree with this, hope u will too..

"Love doesn't make the world go round, it makes the ride worthwhile." -F.P. Jones

"All our young lives we search for someone to love, someone who makes us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope, all the while wondering if somewhere and somehow there is someone searching for us."
-The Wonder Years

"We laughed
until we had to cry.
We gave love,
right down to our last goodbye.
We were the best
we thought we'd ever be
Just you and me,
for just a moment...

"You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back."
-Barbara DeAngelis

last but not least......

"My wish upon this shooting star is that your heart be happy."
-Gilbert

"IF YOU TREAT YOUR FRIEND AS THEY SHOULD BE, THEY WILL BECOME ONE OF THE CROWD. IF YOU TREAT YOUR FRIEND AS THEY OUGHT TO BE TREATED, THEY WILL BECOME AN INDIVIDUAL."

ABDI

2009-07-04T02:16:00.004+08:00

makin kita tercari-cari diri
makin kita kenal dengan budi pekerti
yang mudah sangat tergelincir jadi abdi.

ada sape2 faham???

tonight i feel very2 sad.. very2.
rase useless. alone.
ntahla... everything seems..... MESSED UP.
i dont know why.

THEY hate me. LOATH, dats d word.
but THEY r all i HAVE.
without them, i rather die.
without them, i cant find the meaning of LIFE.
but now they turning their back. refuse to let me explain wats going on.

what shud i DO now?
what shud i SAY?
what shud i think of?
where shud i head to?

too many questions... but

THERE IS NO ANSWER..

and the quotes.. it means.

"kalau nak kenal Allah, kau kenal la kekasihnya yakni Nabi Muhammad s.a.w. kalau kau nak kenal Nabi Muhammad, kau kenal la diri kau.."

sebab ape bile kita kenal diri kita sbenarnya..
kita kenal ape itu baik dan ape itu jahat..

fitrah manusia bukan utk buat jahat tapi sentiasa berlaku baik..

so kalau fitrah manusia tu baik.. maka Nabi itu manusia yang terbaik..
kalau Nabi itu manusia yang terbaik.. maka yang menciptanya adalah YANG MAHA TERBAIK..

so kite perlu ada and kenal budi pekerti.
"tergelincir la jadi abdi", sebab kite ni hambaNYA..

now i feel a lil relief... i wish i can sleep now n not having bad dreams, AGAIN.

aminnn...

> weekend >

2009-07-03T10:45:00.002+08:00

lambat update. huhu...

last weekend, i spent it with my big sis, kak win, her hubby and the kids, hassan, lana, n liyana.

didnt see them for almost 6months, since the kids got school and stuff. now they r having their summer break til october. yay!!!!!!!!!!

ouh.. i went there with Lawi. he got to get to know my brother in law and of course my big sis.
so he got to talk in arabic wit my bro... (i know he miss doing dat)
he got to play wit the cutest kids in the world. (dats my nephew n my nieces..MINE <dats wat liyana love to say. haha)
but he didnt spend the nyte with us (obviously he CANT!).
he went back home after SHISHAING with fareed, k.win, k.aini n her hubby (my bro in law frens)..

so the next day...

we walk to PAVILLION, KLCC... window shopping. huhu
buy something..
went back to the hotel.
change.
heading to the swimming pool.
floating>>>> teach lana how to float >> and liyana too coz she wil do anything dat her sis n bro does. aihhh..
swimming

at nyte...

*watching SMALLVILLE>>>> lana was so excited bcoz of LANA LANG. duhhh
*games>>>> 1,2,3 game (Lawi teach diz game to the kids n they'r ADDICTED to it!! mannnn)
*song>>>> ur my hunny bun sugarplum pumpy yumpy yumpkin, u're my sweetie pie.. yada3... (lana makes me sing this all nyte long. liyana keep dancing. haha.. so cute..)
**ouh.. we ate KFC. heheh

the next day...

*late for breakfast...
*check out.
*went to KL Sentral.
*K.win and Fareed dcide to go back to JB by train.
*too many probs turn up, but at last, its DONE!
*they get in the train to johore bahru at 2pm, n i'm in RAPIDKL to shah alam at 2.15pm. lucky me. =)

its a great weekend... fiuhhhhhhhh

i'm INNOCENT

2009-06-26T14:40:00.005+08:00

Start with 100% and subtract 1% for everything that you've done.Then post as you're __% innocent.

01. Smoked
02. Drank alcohol.
03. Cried when someone died.
04. Been drunk.
05. Had sex.
06. Been to a concert.
07. Gotten/given a hand job.
08. Been verbally/sexually harassed.
09. Flirted
10. Verbally/sexually harassed somebody.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 97%

11. Felt someone up and/or been felt up.
12. Laughed so hard something came out of your nose.
13. Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend before.
14. Been cheated on by a boyfriend/girlfriend.
15. Been to prom.
16. Cried at school.
17. Gotten lost in a Wal-Mart or a department store.
18. Went streaking.
19. Given or received a lap dance.
20. Had someone of the opposite sex in your room.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 91%

21. Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over.
22. Slept over at someone of the opposite sex's house.
23. Kissed a stranger.
24. Hugged a stranger
25. Went scuba diving.
26. Driven a car.
27. Gotten an x-ray.
28. Hit by a car.
29. Had a party.
30. Done drugs.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 87%

31. Played strip poker/darts/pool.
32. Got paid to strip for someone.
33. Run away from home.
34. Broken a bone.
35. Eaten sushi.
36. Bought porn.
37. Watched porn.
38. Made porn.
39. Made beans.
40. Been in love.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 80%

41. French kissed.
42. Laughed so hard you cried.
43. Cried yourself to sleep
44. Laughed yourself to sleep.
45. Stabbed yourself.
46. Shot a gun.
47. Trash talked someone and then acted like their best friend the next day.
48. Been online for 9 consecutive hours.
49. Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours.
50. Watched an animal die.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 77%

51. Watched a person die.
52. Kissed somewhere with at least 1 person present.
53. Pranked somebody.
54. Put somebody in the hospital.
55. Snuck into someone's room and/or your own room after being out.
56. Made spicy beans.
57. Dressed punk.
58. Dressed Goth.
59. Dressed preppy.
60. Been to a motocross race.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 74%

61. Avoided somebody.
62. Been stalked.
63. Stalked someone.
64. Met a celebrity.
65. Played an instrument.
66. Ridden a horse.
67. Cut yourself.
68. Bungee jumped.
69. Ding dong ditched somebody.
70. Been to a wild party.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 68%

71. Been caught stealing something.
72. Kicked/punched a guy in the balls.
73. Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from a friend.
74. Gone out with your friend's crush.
75. Got arrested.
76. Been pregnant.
77. Babysat.
78. Been to another country.
79. Started your house on fire.
80. Had an encounter with a ghost.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 64%

81. Donated your hair to cancer patients.
82. Been asked out by someone that you never thought you'd be asked out by.
83. Cried over a member of the opposite sex.
84. Had a boyfriend/girlfriend for over 2 months.
85. Sat on your butt all day.
86. Ate a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself.
87. Had a job.
88. Gotten cut from a sports team.
89. Been called a whore.
90. Danced like a whore.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 57%

91. Been mistaken for a celebrity.
92. Been in a car accident.
93. Been told you have beautiful eyes.
94. Been told you have beautiful hair.
95. Raped somebody.
96. Danced in the rain.
97. Been rejected.
98. Left a restaurant without paying.
99. Punched someone/slapped someone in the face.
100. Been raped.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 51%

Having FUN!!!

2009-06-26T08:49:00.012+08:00

the view of Tasik Shah Alam

with Mutawalli at Jusco Bukit Tinggi watching TRANSFORMERS

23rd of June '09

.. I'm Back!!! ..

2009-06-26T08:29:00.001+08:00

salam.. its been a while.

my blogspot.. i 4get my p’word. haha but nOw i remember it. lol!

so here i m again, blogging.

topic for today will b about SURVEYS..

u noe, surveys dat we do n post it as a bulletin.

silly questions and stupid answers.

guess wat? i’m 1 of those who loves to do it.

y did i do it? like i got nothing else 2do?

well wen i’m infront of my lappy, i’m on the line.

wats on d line? friendster,myspace,tagged,facebook,twitter and lots more.

all these social grOup web are full wit people wit different views and of course acts

some wil make d surveys questions, some wil answers.

so what? its cyber world. u cant stop them. if u dont like it? terminate all ur acc in any social group so u wil not BERGELUMANG DGN DOSE n TAK TERBACA JAWAPAN BODOH ORANG LAEN.

i noe u have a good intention, i respect dat.

it jz d way u express it. its WRONG.

i totally agree wit u.

dari sebok jawab soalan2 survey tu, ade lg baek bwt bnda2 b’manfaat and stuff.

i agree. diz is wat i think, (i jela, other ppl,i d k)

its for fun.

xkn spnjg mase nk ngadap bku n stuff.

its not dat i forget my role as a “Khalifah Allah” d muka bumi ni.

it just, i hv my own stupid acts. n i’m not doing any harm.

sorry.. this post is a respond to a post by a FRIEND.

i’m still ur friend, n i hope someday u’ll b able 2 accept me as a friend SEIKHLASNYA. =)

ouh..if u r damn afraid terbace org laen punye stupid answers (since u kate surveys if bodoh and dose), i suggest u stop joining any social group web since its FULL wit STUPIDITY.

that shud b all. salam..

... shOcking event!! ...

2009-04-30T17:54:00.009+08:00

this is 1 of my dad's car, but its my favourite 1.. n its gone, a month ago.. huhu
my dad admitted to hospital, and the car was left outside the house for.. like 2months. maybe thats lead to this... poor car. huhu

the story, 1 nyte (the nyte my dad was home after 2months in hospital).
around 2am, my dad want to go out to buy handyplaster for his wound,
but my mom didnt let him and ask my brothers, AFIQ and ADEK(twin) to go.
they drove the car to 7e, as soon as they arrived home, **BOOM!!** n explosion from the engine.
both of them running out from the car and less than a minute, the car are all in fire.. =(
my bro's wallet, money, id, the handyplaster are all gone too..

shock. sad. yet i feel thankful to GOD that both of my brothers are okay.
i thank GOD cause its not my dad who went out that nyte.
ALHAMDULILLAH...

... exam 1>> JAPANESE ...

2009-04-30T15:49:00.005+08:00

huhu.. yup, my 1st examination paper for this term is Japanese 1.. ZLU blablabla. lols
on 26th of April, 2.30pm. (yeah.. its on Sunday, crazy people<<> ~~CRAZY~~.

i have to remember all the Katagana and Hiragana characters, prepositions, numbers, greetings, months, days, and etc. huhu..

and i have to know how to write in down in hiragana and katagana!! gOshhhh!!!!

lack of sleep, but alhamdulillah, there's only 1 part that i cant answer. huhu. the greetings. i d k what " SEND MY REGARD TO EVERYONE" in Japanese. huhu.. i only know 'MINNA' is for everyone.. huhu. ok.. thats it. i've done it. no more Japanese. lols

thanks to Ajizu Sensei. i don't really like Japanese, but bcoz of u, i learn to like them, n i like their culture. thanks to u for that. =)

... Happy 20th Birthday!!!!...

2009-04-23T02:24:00.007+08:00

22nd of April..

happy birthday to me..
happy birthday to me..
happy birthday to me, REBUNG....
happy birthday to me..
happy birthday to me..... =)

i wish this year will be one of the greatest year (better than last year,a year before that and a year before that. lols)...

wish some of my dreams will come true (since 1 of my dream has slipped away.. =( but its ok. life must go on)

to my all my dearest friends>> thanks for the wishes, the prayers and gift.
KOTAK>> the 1st person to wish.. SING?? hehe
Kak Rose>> for the entry upon my birthday.. gee.. THANKS!!!!
Lawi>> cake and chocolate and the present. i appreciate it. thanks friend!!

again.. THANKS!!!!!!!

... u used to ...

2009-04-20T17:36:00.005+08:00

i'm doing well so far. its not easy. Ratna, ni nko punya pasal asyik sebut2 nama dia, maka sedikit sebanyak, aku teringat. aku mampu senyum jela. tak daya nak buat apa2. patah kata Abang Megat>> NKO NI MEMANG TAKDE PERASAAN EA???

lols.. a'ah. aku takde perasaan. if ada sekali pun, ada yang nampak? ada yang faham? (mari gelak sama2. wakakaka)

masa jungle tracking, teringat dia. he loves nature so much, but now i'm in the jungle doing the adventure, on my own. terfikir, if i tell him my experience, mau dia buat muka, jealous, merajuk, marah. i d k.
apa lagi yang mampu aku buat? SENYUM saje.. =)

life is hard. LOVE sucks. FRIENDSHIP last forever. am i right?? =)

ouh.. another shocking event. his ex, after more than a year i'm trying to b friends with her, at last she's the 1 who want to be friends! i'm suprise, she rejected me like.. TRILLIONS time! and now, after EVERYTHING, she wanted to be friend.

LIFE IS FULL OF SUPRISES!!!

apa lagi aku mampu buat? senyum saje.. =)

so, i accept it. i just hope my life will not be miserable anymore.

friends, thats all i need for now...

this is for you, you used to make it real. =) thanks for the memories.

You Make It Real

There's so much craziness surrounding me,
There's so much going on it gets hard to breath
When all my faith has gone you, bring it back to me,
You make it real for me

Well I'm not sure of my priorities,
I've lost sight of where I’m meant to be
And like ~~holy~~ water washing over me,
You make it real for me

And I am running to you baby,
You are the only one who saves me
That's why I've been missing you lately,
'Cause you make it real for me

When my head is strong, but my heart is weak,
I'm full of arrogance and uncertainty
When I can't find the words, you teach my heart to speak,
You make it real for me

And I am running to you baby,
You are the only one who saves me
That's why I've been missing you lately,
'Cause you make it real for me

Everybody's talking in words I don't understand,
You got to be the only one, who knows just who I am
And you're shining in the distance,
I hope I can make it through
Cause the only place that I want to be is right back home with you

I guess there's so much more I have to learn,
But if you're here with me, I know which way to turn
You always give me somewhere, somewhere I can learn,
You make it real for me

And I am running to you baby,
Cause you are the only one who saves me
That's why I've been missing you lately,
'Cause you make it real for me
You make it real for me

... TRAINER or MOTIVATOR?? ...

2009-04-20T17:12:00.007+08:00

just got back from camping (3days and 2nights)..
at Sungai Congkak, Selangor. being a trainer (there's 5 of us me, Shuq aka Ekang, Mazni aka Putih, Muz aka Kechik, Wan).
117 students from MGS, (yeah.. they're all girls, from form 1 til 5)

well i expect things going to be tough, u know, girls... fiuhhh...
but guess i'm wrong, they're okay. not that bad. some of themis too hard for me to handle. but over all, i'm fine and i guess they're fine. yeah, i made some of them cried. its fun!!! haha.
sorry... i'm dOing my jOb.

and i'm really tired. i'm the only girl (trainer), the other 3 is the (motivator), so i'm doing so many hard work. gOshhh... (penat gilerrrrrr!!!!), not enough sleep, not even have time to eat. well i did some of the motivator work, i gave them a moral talk. so they did see the other part of me, the "baik" 1 (cause i can't raise my voice, no cursing n stuff. just advise and a little threats , so.. i did just okay..).

ouh.. ya.. meet new friends again!!

lin+me+liza

kak Shuq+kak Kechik

didn't really take pixx, didn't get the chance. so.. thats all for now.
i had a good weekend!!

ouh.. now i'm wOndering, i'm better in training people or in motivating people... which 1 should i be in the next camp??

... move on ...

2009-04-15T02:36:00.003+08:00

my status>> SINGLE & SWINGER. lols

yup, its true and i'm pretty sure that its really over now. i really don't want him anymore and i already start seeing another guy.

"a week, and thats it??"

well, yeah, the sooner the better.
i can't stand the pain and i can't stand being alone.
u can call me whatever u want, BITCH, SLUT, CHEAP or whatsoever. i don't give a damn. why?? cause you're not my guy, you're NOBODY. so i'm okay with it. =)

p/s>> I'VE TOLD YOU,IF I'M STARTING SEEING ANOTHER GUY, IT MEANS THERE IS NO TURNING BACK. SO, LETS MOVE ON AND BEYOND!!! =)

... Do You Agree??? ...

2009-04-14T23:37:00.003+08:00

i came across this statement in a magazine. and somehOw, i agree with it. what abOut you??

Lelaki memberikan CINTA, untuk mendapatkan segala-galanya.

Perempuan memberikan segala-galanya, untuk mendapatkan CINTA...

Man gave their LOVE, to get everything.

Woman gave up everything, just to get LOVE..

... 12th of APRIL>> crazy day!! ...

2009-04-13T16:57:00.003+08:00

went to Sungai Congkak for the 1st time. yay!!!!! guess what, pukul 4.30am tu g sana. haha!!!

ratna promise me a chalet to sleep, and she lied!!! eeeee!!! i slept in a hut, on a tree!!!! huh... with the bugs and everything. and no blanket!!

kotak lak, takutkan pasal lintah and pacat. messagenya berbunyi begini:

"tahukah anda pacat@lintah sejenis binatang yang boleh panjat pokok dan suka hisap darah budak perempuan"

hampeh punye kawan!! huhu =,( i end up, didn't sleep!!!!!

and next morning, at 8am, doing the senaman pagi with the kids. ouh.. i met lots of new friends. happy!!

Seha & Nana>> Unisel students
K.Chu Ai, K.Sabah, K.Tdong (tak ingat name, so letak nama glamour je)>> UPSI
Danial>> Cousin Ratna (handsOme.. uuu. lols)
Amirul>> Anak ayam baru menetas..
Abu>> Abu Hurairah name penuhnye.. terkedu skejap.
Abg Jamal>> funny gila mamat ni, sporting abis!
Abg Comel, Abg Ganu>> UPSI gak..
fun. diorang sangat sporting and gila!! nanti jumpa lagi!! yay2!!!

sangat happy malam tu aka last night. makan ramai2, borak sampai nyaris bertumbuk (tak dapat explain because... terlalu complicated).. tapi, semua okay la.

so.. another day ended. and i think i'm doing just fine.
ouh.. kotak, guys memang lampi kan?? korang memang teruk! hahah seb baek Nisang half lelaki.

yang penting, i'm so happy. EMBRACE THE PRESENT... yea!!!

tapi.. tak ambil gambar.. kenapa?? handphone tak charge. lols. takpe, next time ada la. =D

... PUBLIC SPEAKING AND MIMI!!! ...

2009-04-13T14:43:00.006+08:00

1>> me, 2>>ugly me, again, 3>> with mr.AZRUL 4>> MIMIE!!!!!

.. 11th April 2009..

2009-04-13T12:54:00.002+08:00

again.. a ~~hectic~~ day.. lack of rest. kurang tdO and stuff..

woke up at 6.30, went to public speaking class. present around 11.30am. (ngantOk tunggu turn, gilak!!) but ALHAMDULILLAH, everythings went really smooth. even 'merepek' in front of my classmates, but, its ended. i mean, this public speaking session should be done last month. and at last... its DONE!!!!! yay!!!

the class ended around 2.30pm, and... i got another class at 2pm, 30mins late. musculoskeletal practical class, where i need to wear something more appropriate (tracksuit and loose t shirt), and i don't have time to change so i just go to the class wearing my NYEH2 CORPORATE suit. (korporat la sangat, cam ~~keparat~~ ade gaks. uhuk!).

ahh.. thank GOD i'm not the only 1 wearing like that, there's others, having public speaking also (maka, x cuak if kne sOund. ahahaha). go to class, (penat, tapi dah kena ugOt dengan Ratna), so pergi juga....

lecturer datang lambat. dah tu, bawa anak dia, SYAMIMI NAFISAH, 3 years old. sambil belajar, sambil main-main. lols. (she loves taking pixx, and very adOrable.. haizzz) so, tak terasa penat, sebab HAPPY ade budak cute depan mata plus memang rindu anak2 sedara, maka... HAPPY!!!!!! =)

in a nutshell... its a damn hectic yet pretty HAPPY day.. =)

... SURVIVING ...

2009-04-10T20:56:00.003+08:00

what a slow and bOring day..

woke up at 10a.m. didn't go for the public speaking class (tomorrow i will...)
didn't pass up my Japanese assignments (next week i will...)
didn't go out, didn't eat (yet).. its its too hot in the afternoon and now its raining(cats and dogs just now).. huh. BORED...

ouh.. thanks to u for CELA, it means a lot.

CELA

rabak mataku, pena menari-nari,
tinta berdarah, kata membara-bara,
masanya ku bernafas kini terakhir kali,
puas sudahku sesak dalam dunia sempit...

dulu tersungkur, kini berdiri,kau bermain api,

kini ku bakari..
dulu menunduk, kini ku celik, kau bermain api..

engkau mahu sempurna, engkau jadi sempurna
biar aku bahagia dengan celaku,
engkau mahu malaikat turun dari kayangan
biar aku bahagia dengan celaku..

mengapa tidak engkau cermin saja dirimu yang sempurna mempesona?
ku bahagia dengan cela
mengapa tidak kau bercinta saja dengan dirimu yang sempurna mempesona
ku bahagia dengan cela...

SIAPA YANG MAMPU MENCAPAI MAHUMU BILAMANA KAU JUGA SEORANG MANUSIA...

... 9th of APRIL 2009 ...

2009-04-10T00:21:00.009+08:00

... SUSPENS!!!! ...

2009-04-09T23:07:00.002+08:00

another HECTIC day.. =(

i didn't get enough sleep last nyte, working on my individual video clip for Communication Skill.. thanks to Ratna,for being creative,being patiet and accompany me for the whOle nyte! LOVE U, Ratna chan!! and not to forget, thanks to KAK ROSE for the tips. =)

done the video around 5am, texting with my friend, KOTAK til he off to class. thanks to u too TAK. =)

went to class at 5.30pm which is 1 and half hour early. we have to burn our personal video and print out our resume, so thats why we kind of early.

in the class, i've waited for my other 8 group mates. but they're still not in the class even after 1hour the class has started!!! i waited for my group video shooting too, its with 1 of them. and around 9pm, the class almost done, then i get to know that they got problems. they save all their videos in a thumbdrive, try to burn it into cd. and..... a problems turn up! but at the end, we're fine.

MYRA, THANKS honey, for your hardwork. sorry to burden you with the editing and stuff. but u have to know, we appreciate it hun. we really do.

WE LOVE YOU MYRALICIOUS!!! THANX!!!

... which 1 the best???? ...

2009-04-09T15:49:00.005+08:00

WONDER GIRLS

korean girl and boy trying to tell me dance

p/s >> check this out too!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1mAT6vwPxg&feature=PlayList&p=718B9B63C4945AF9&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=6

.. I'M SO HOT!!!! ..

2009-04-09T15:43:00.004+08:00

korean artist>>WONDER GIRLS

found out 'bout them like, 2weeks ago and i'm in love with the steps!! lols.

.. F.R.I.E.N.D.S ..

2009-04-09T15:26:00.002+08:00

saya ada kawan, nama dia KOTAK.

dia ~~baik~~ dan dia ~~comel~~.

semalam dia teman saya buat assignment sampai subuh.

terima kasih KOTAK.

ouhh.. TAK, thnx tau layan kepale biol ku nih.. thnx sbb rela kena buli ngn aku. ko x mara kn?? =D

hope kita kawan sampai bile2. =)

again, thanx KOTAK.. =)

.. LOVE SUCKS!! ..

2009-04-09T15:00:00.002+08:00

okay.. like always, when i talk about love, its all about fighting, breaking up and hook up, AGAIN AND AGAIN.

told u what? i'm sick of it. i really do. it just, i need someone. i don't like to be alone.

and now i have my lovely RATNA, KAK ROSE, KAK NONA, MILA and ADA.

i love them. thanks for being a good listener. thanks for being there.

to you, i don't hate you. i hate myself. you're a good guy but i'm not the 1 and i think i need more than just a GOOD GUY. so, i hope this time, its for real. bye bye to US and hye to YOU. =)

... exausted ...

2009-04-09T12:18:00.004+08:00

goshhhh.. what a week.... its not ending yet, so i'll just let myself dying in it.. huhu

CARDIORESPIRATORY 2 Practical Exam, 7th of April, went just OKAY laaaa...
there's 3 station, i screw up in the 3rd station under Puan Fairuz (my greatest lecturer so far>> she's very strict but at the same time,mother-like). i got this question, i have to make 5problems listing and what treatment should i apply? when i'm about to list out the problems,

LOVELY LECTURER >> "just go to the treatments"
BLANKY BLANK REBUNG >> "err.. okay"

the truth is, i accidently became blank. i have to list the problems 1st, then i can think of the treatment. but now, I"M TOTALLY BLANK!!!! =( so, i can't do it. i don't relly answer the question in the 3rd station. =( =( =(

station 1 & 2? the best stations since it takes me to converse with my patient and test my skill on handling stethoscope and spyghmanometer(the blood pressure measurement stuff). and i can say, I'M GREAT in it!!!

ouh.. n i forgot to wish my sister 21st birthday.. sorry Nis, been really busy studying. sorry????

dear, HANIS...
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY to u..
wish u be a better and a wiser person.
may u got all the things u wanted in life..
(well, its a long way to go, but please don't stop, just keep on moving..)
Happy birthday....

your 'GIFT' for me.. should i keep it? hold to it?

2009-04-06T13:22:00.003+08:00

<<1>>
My song is love
My song is love, unknown
But I'm on fire for you, clearly
You don't have to be alone
You don't have to be on your own

And I'm not gonna take it back
And I'm not gonna say I don't mean that
You're the target that I'm aiming at
And I'm nothing on my own
Got to get that message home

And I'm not gonna stand and wait
Not gonna leave it until it's much too late
On a platform I'm gonna stand and say
That I'm nothing on my own
And I love you, please come home..

<<2>>
And I..
Will never try to deny,
that you're my whole life,
'cause if you ever let me go,
I would die..
So I won't front,
I don't need another woman,
I just need your all and nothing,
'cause if I got that,
Then I'll be straight
Baby, you're the best part of my day..

<<3>>
There is no 1 day I walk without thinking of you,
No 1 night I’m sleeping without dreaming of you,
I wish a future with you, that is so promising and it would be true
I just love you and want just you..

LISTEN TO ME....

2009-04-06T12:44:00.006+08:00

THESE THINGS I'LL NEVER SAY

I'm tugging at my hair, I'm pulling at my clothes
I'm trying to keep my cool but I know it shows
I'm staring at my feet and my cheeks are turning red
I'm searching for the words inside my head

I'm feeling nervous, trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you're worth it, you're worth it

If I could say what I want to say, I'd say I wanna blow you... away
Be with you every night, am I squeezing you too tight?
If I could say what I want to see, I want to see you go down on one knee
Marry me today, Yes, I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say

It don't do me any good, it's just a waste of time
What use is it to you, what's on my mind
If ain't coming out, we're not going anywhere
So why can't I just tell you that I care

What's wrong with my tongue, these words keep slipping away
I stutter, I stumble... Like I've got nothing to say
Guess I'm wishing my life away
with these things I'll never say

If I could say what I want to say, I'd say I wanna blow you...away
Be with you every night, am I squeezing you too tight?
If I could say what I want to see, I want to see you go down on one knee
Marry me today, guess I'm wishing my life away
These things I'll never say..

THE BEST DAMN THING

I hate it when a guy doesn't get the door

even though I told him yesterday and the day before...

I hate it when a guy doesn't get the tab

and I have to put my money out and that looks bad!

Where are the hopes? Where are the dreams?

My Cinderella story scene. When do you thinkthey'll finally see......

That you're not, not, not, gonna get any better,

you won't, won't, won't, you won't get rid of menever,

like it or not even though she's a lot like me....

We're not the same, and yeah, yeah, yeah

I'm a lot to handle, you don't know trouble

I'm a hell of a scandal, me, I'm a scene, I'm a drama queen,

I'm the best damn thing that your eyes have ever seen!

I hate it when a guy doesn't understand

why a certain time of month, I don't want to hold his hand,

I hate it when they go out and we stayin,

and they come home smelling like their ex-girlfriends...

I found my hopes, I found my dreams.

My Cinderella story scene.

Now everybody's gonna see.....

I'm a lot to handle, you don't know trouble

I'm a hell of a scandal, me, I'm a scene, I'm a drama queen,

I'm the best damn thing that your eyes have ever seen!

Where are the hopes? Where are the dreams?

My Cinderella story scene. When do you think they'll finally see......

I'm the best damn thing that your eyes have ever seen!

.. scandal for LIFE??? ...

2009-04-05T22:38:00.006+08:00

nahhhhh.. a friend.. a good friend of mine.

kutuk2.. maki2.. but then.. still friends.

well i guess he's a true friend.

kutukla aku puas2, buli laaa.... tak heran, da biase.

love u, always. nak charge???? boleh blah. taknak bayar.

ape2 pun, those who thinks you're a friend of mine, remember this.

i love you. it just, i'm loving myself more.

i never forget u, but sometimes i have no time to think of u.

but still, we're FRIENDS, and i always LOVE you!!!

Favourite Quotes... so far. lols.. =P

2009-04-04T02:28:00.008+08:00

Keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground.
-Theodore Roosevelt-

Have a heart that never hardens, and a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts.
-Charles Dickens-

All glory comes from daring to begin.
-William Shakespeare-

If you would be loved, love and be lovable.
-Benjamin Franklin-

If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes.
-St. Clement of Alexandra-

Without inspiration the best powers of the mind remain dormant, they is a fuel in us which needs to be ignited with sparks.
-Johann Gottfried Von Herder-

Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius-

By associating with wise people you will become wise yourself.
-Menander-

Our life's a stage, a comedy: either learn to play and take it lightly, or bear its troubles patiently.
-Palladas-

As I grow to understand life less and less, I learn to love it more and more.
-Jules Renard-

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
-Benjamin Franklin-

... life>> HELL ??? ...

2009-04-04T01:08:00.004+08:00

Kata Euripides, "Question everything. Learn something. Answer nothing". Aku rasa aku dah amalkan benda ini agak lama cuma kadang-kadang aku terpaksa juga answer at least something kepada orang sekeliling.In any circumstances, I will question whatever that is around me as long as it is sensible. Yet the most insane thought never fail to appear... Terlalu imaginative mungkin.

Dalam teori Karma kata, "we create our own hell". Aku sedang wondering kalau-kalau kata-kata, "we are our own hell" boleh diterima. Jika boleh, I am going to write my own fucking philosophy book.

i came across my dearest friends blog post. well his a thinker. lols. but, seriously, he is. (i didn't mention your name, so don't charge me! haha)

really attracted to his post, so i paste it here so you'll get the chance to read it too.

i agree with his post. really2.. the EURIPIDES.. we tend to do things against what we should really do, you know?? end up messing things up, make the world go up side down, get things worst. crazy. if we only know what this EURIPIDES has said and stick to it earlier.. huhu. ( CAN WE??? )

the KARMA.... well, i have my own heaven here. and my hell in it. life. that's life. what goes around, comes around.

PEACE!!!

...test.. next??? EXAM!!!!!

2009-04-04T00:33:00.005+08:00

showing off?? errr.. maybe? lols. proud of myself! yay! but seriously, it is not easy. erm.. my real marks maybe around 70++. the rest, RATANA chan and AJIZU sensei help me out with the katagana characters. huhu
but still... i'm proud of myself!!! hahah!!!

Exam is around the corner. 7th of April (tuesday) is my Cardiorespiratory 2 practical exam, WISH ME GOODLUCK!!

to those who about to have exam, GANBATTE KUDASAI!!!!

... me and him ...

2009-03-31T16:48:00.004+08:00

okay.. how to start??

okay, he's still around. i mean, we're in the same college. what do u expect?? huhu
still remember the good moments but still, hurts. =)
so we make a deal, BE FRIENDS. we're still meeting each other. went out for lunch, dinner, and even study together. so.. i'll go with the flow.
my status>>> ITS COMPLICATED. lols

i really don't know what to think, what to do... i just need company. some1 to share, to talk to. u know??

i don't care who u r, if u want me, come and get me. and please, don't hurt me. i just don't have time for that.

to u SAYANG>> i still love u.

>>>>the other part of me, the sensitive 1...<<<<

... u r loser and u don't know what style is ...

2009-03-31T14:54:00.006+08:00

who is the loser?? an ~~EX-BESTFRIEND~~ which now also known as VICTORIA BECKHAM wannabe. LOSER!!!

well, she's been my enemy for the past 7months i guess. why?? good question. because i put on my hijab (tudung) and i start having a good lifestyle. no more going out in the weekend, doing all the stupid stuffs (maksiat to be exact, i used to be a bitch, but not anymore), no more hanging out at night (overnight), no more wearing all the tight clothes (but sometimes i do wear it, but i know the limit). that some of it. she makes all my ex housemates turn their back on me, and made up bad stories about me. she even say i'm not a virgin?? BODOH. what a loser. i did confront her, but since she's a loser, so she just remain silence. but behind my back, SHE IS TOTALLY A BITCH. so thats something about her.

ouh.. the story. okay2. this term, her course joining my course for Communication Skill subject. so i have to see her ugly face every thursday night. but i'm fine with it, it just, i hate to see her ugly face. i'm not saying i'm pretty or what, but i'm better than her, in and out. ~~SORRY LOSER~~

okay, so, last sunday we had the presentation day. i wear my red baju kurung and put on my blazer. i think i look good (macam peguam okay? lols). i arrived quite late, by that time all the front sit is full so i have to sit at the back. on my way up, i saw her and 2 other ex housemates, as i come across her sit, i put my bag down and sit. (i sat exactly a row behind her). i'm talking to ratna and suddenly i heard..

LOSER>> eiii.. apsal perempuan ni duduk belakang. aku tak suke la perempuan ni.

PRETTY LADYakaREBUNG>> **silence** i want to see what more she got

LOSER>> eiii.. tiba2 panas la kat belakang. benci betul!!!

**i stood up, took out all the books i got in my bags and starting walking behind the LOSER, at the same time the book is to be a sign that the row that i have sit is for my group** while walking..

PRETTY LADYakaREBUNG>> aihh..pagi2 ni aku malas layan BABI bercakap. now BABI ni dah pandai. memang nak kena ajar. bunyi lagi sekali, siaplah kau. aku tak ada mood nak dengar BABI bercakap.

**i look at ratna and said..**

PRETTY LADYakaREBUNG>> At, aku tak ingin duduk belakang dengan BABI yang dangkal, agak2 kau nampak tempat kosong kat depan, bagitahu aku ye?? duduk belakang memang panas, ahli neraka ramai ni, mana tak panas kan? (hamek ko!)

okay, why didn't i just go straight and meet her? if i do so, there will be a fight. i'm a hot tempered person. once i hit someone, i just can't stop. plus, if i did that, i'm just humiliating myself. so i'll just play the game. waiting for her to piss off and lay her finger on me, and then....... you will see.

so i manage to change my sit and sit in the front. i can hear she keep "sindir2" me. i just smile. coz i know thats all she got, she don't have the guts to say anything in front of my face. what a LOSER. lols.
guess what she wear? baju kurung modern which is too tight for her (baju pinjam agaknya. haha. aku kejam. so whattt???). and once said, orang seni je tahu seni, baru la stylo. MAK KO!!!! seems like kau tak tahu seni la since baju kau ketat, macam sarung nangka busuk. LOLS!!!!
ouh.. not to forget. i think she is really piss off right now coz i lose weight. i was like really slim. and she is DAMN PLUMPY. mwahahahaha..

kesian ko. dah la bodoh, hodoh plak. LOSER. BIG TIME LOSER!!!

hamik ko!!!

~~OOPSSSS!!!!~~

okay, this the other part of me. the angry 1. i'll say all the bad words and don't care what might happen next. get in a fight? my pleasure. look forward for it. i'm not the 1 u want to mess with. so beware. if i said i hate u, so BUZZ OFF!

that should be all, THANK YOU. =)
xoxoxoxo

.. EARTH HOUR and PRESENTATION FOR PUBLIC SPEAKING ...

2009-03-31T00:43:00.016+08:00

earth hour!!! 28th March 2009. the earth day. did u guys contribute something???
i did!!! heheh
me and my housemates (kak Rose, Ratna, Ada, Mila), we switch off all the lights, then we stay outside the house. lols. ouh.. we did take some picture during the EARTH HOUR. cool!!!
here some of it! =)

pic 1>> me and kak rose pic 2>> ada ratna mila kak rose pic 3>> silly me pic 4>>me kak rose ratna

ouh.. and the next day, i got my public speaking day for my Communication Skill class. a month ago, our NYEH2 lecturer, MR. AZRUL SHAH @ MR. AZBOROI has given us 10 topics for the public speaking session. and i pick DO YOU THINK THAT ONE's CAREER DEPENDS ON HE/HER COMMUNICATION SKILL?, well i don't have to put my text in here, am i?? hehe

so its 29 of March, we should get started at 8.45am and ended at 6pm. but guess what?? we've been forced to go to our campus hall and sit there to hear a talk about bussiness. what the???? and we tayed there until 1.50pm!!! huh! i'm so sleepy because the night before that i sleep at 5am. huhu.. =(

then, at 2pm, the public speaking session is started. there's 200 students, and my turn is 121. arghhh!!!! i am damn exhausted!!! and mr. Azrul said that today, those from number 1 til 100 will only present. the rest, will be on next saturday. when i got the idea of heading back home, "to those who think about going back home, your marks will be zero.", i was like, "whattttttttt???!!!!!". in the end of it, i be the time keeper. huh! =(
i'm so exhausted, dissapointed (coz i didn't present today. damn!) yet, i'm still happy, cause all of us looking very2 nice, pretty and handsome. lols. but that just it....

pic 1>> me pic 2>> myra and me pic 3>> me and ratna

.. REMINDER!!! ...

2009-03-25T22:24:00.003+08:00

the reminder is for me.. not for you. if you already read it, finish it or you'll get in a big trouble later on friday. lols!

i've done my next term subject registration>> CLINICAL TRAINING 1 (MFD 2143)
but still, print out the subject registration form and hand it to MR BEAR>> En. Sharikh.

i have to take my tuition fees clearance slip, and then take my exam slip.

copy or steal the exam schedule from the faculty by the end of this week.

ouh.. my exam should start on 20th April. and my birthday will be on...... =P

okay, that should all. haha

and in addition!!

2009-03-25T22:10:00.004+08:00

owh... there's some more reasons.

at last...Afiq take his SPM result,what did he get?? ~~NOT TELLING!!!~~ it just not bad, but somehow it is quite disappointing. it's okay, he'll be fine.

and ABAH!!!! =P wo xiang ni, Abah. =) he will be out from the hospital around next week. Alhamdulillah...

Z.J, he accept my apology, and willing to be friends again. Thanks. =)
and J, stop calling me "si gendut" ha. or i'll kick your ***. lols. now i'm writing about u again. haha
silly u! J sien!

. . . MoMents . . .

2009-03-25T21:46:00.004+08:00

weeee... happy!!! happy!!! happy!!!!

huhu.. kind of tired, yet still very happy.

what did i have today??
1>> Cardiorespirastory presentation
2>> Japanese language test
3>> Musculoskeletal test

fiuhhhhh... =P

okay, 1st, the presentation is on 8.30am, guess what?? i woke up at 8.15am!!!!! waaaa!!!!!
so.. wash my face, brush my teeth, change the **tutttt** and wear proper clothes for the class. lols!!
and it went well, i present the task with my beloved Ratna (lessy partner). it just a small part, Ratna did a tiny mistake, but over all, it is great. =)

2nd, i didn't really study Japanese (unless the words or statement that i can use to tease the Japanese student. =p). so.. the test is hard.. i can't remember Katagana characters, but..... Ajizu Sensei and Ratna help me, a lots! heheh.. so, i manage to answer it. *wink*

3rd.. haa... Japanese test on 5pm, and ended on 6.50pm. up next is my Musculoskeletal test, its on 7pm. crazy huh?? haha!!
(macam nak mati wo!!!)
ha, yang ni, nasib baik senang, if notttttt... balik rumah, nangis!!!. Thank God, for making it easy for me. =)

so.. i am happy! yieeeeehaaa!!!!!

. . . Kak Rose loves me!!! c(= . . .

2009-03-24T02:18:00.004+08:00

owh.. ini yg d maksudkan dengan TAG.. ouhhhhh.. hehehe
sO kak rose yang ku sayangi, kerana u pun special, so saya rela meneruskan perjuangan nih. cewahhh!!!

5 Yang Paling Spesel - Orang Yg Masih Bernyawa:
>> Si Rebung (artist nihhh.. oopsss)
>> my PRECIOUS FAMILIA.. =)
>> my best friends, Farahin Lasuri.
>> some1, not telling

>> Cristiano Ronaldo.. uuuu.. xoxoxoxoxo

5 Yang Paling Spesel - Makhluk Bernyawa Bukan Orang:
>> birds.. i don't have 1, but i loves birds. =)
>> my pet, NINA. a cat. haha.
>> rabbits. cute! i did have 3 of it, but my dad gave it to my lil cousin. huh!
>> pigeons, in my place, i mean, back home in Johore.
>> panda bear!!! i look like 1. haha!

5 Yang Paling Spesel - Harta Benda Yg Memang Tak Bernyawa:
>> handphone..
>> scarfs, Lawi bought for me. =)
>> laptop, back home in Johore
>> my POLO hand bag, i bought it on my own. uuuu..
>> ermm.. what more? haaa... my books, novels. SPECIAL!!!!

5 Yang Paling Spesel - Ape-ape Yg Jadi Nyawa Anda:
>> my life
>> my family
>> my stuff
>> my friends
>> those who cares about me

5 Yang Paling Spesel - Penjawab Tag Nyawa Yg Seterusnya:
>> Hady adinda kuh
>> Tom2.. the naughty junior
>> Kak Rose, tp dia da tag kite. hehe
>> Ain, dearest friend.
>> Plain, musuh dlm slimOt. wakakaka

huhu.. ntah pape.. tapi cam best jek. hihi

THANX Ms. BlossommingRose. love u!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

my life is FULL with drama

JAR OF HEARTS

"What It's Like To Be Me"

"Save Me From Myself"

JEALOUSY

YOU KNOW?

ALONE

wHo dO U tUrn tO??

11 Signs He’s Not Headed Toward a Relationship With You

PRESENT

DEVIATION

PLAYER? GAME??

::SALAM::

:: FITNAH ::

MORE~

" 1st scene.. "

" FULL OF LOVE "

"DEAL"

:: EARTH ::

"HATING WEEKENDS"

"Let Me Go"

PIECES

BEGGAR?? i am,INDEED...

STUPIDITY~

FRUSTRATED~

CITIBANK

... DANCE ....

.. OCTOBER 2010 ..

D.O.N.E

aku PELIK~

M.E.R.D.E.K.A

...figure & shape...

... USED vs. LOVED ...

IF TOMORROW NEVER COMES...

you just a kid & u barely know how exactly the WORLD is spinning

TAMAN SINAR HARAPAN K.K.B

APRIL '10

WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN"T LOOKING~~~

``` SATU ```

~~ ???? ~~

~~ sunday morning ~~

>>>>> here i m, AGAIN~~~

~~ i have a PRIVACY concern ~~

...PIECES of LIFE...

february.....

january..

**** BEDRIDDEN *****

~ wedding (abang An+ kak Yati) & KLCC (wit Lawi) ~

~ 1st week of TRAINING ~

~~ Jan 4 2010 ~~

>>> CLINICAL TRAINING!!! <<<

...new year celebration!!...

~~ HELLO 2010!!! ~~

MYSELF...

Abah and Mak!

LOAN>>HOLD?????!!!

wish...

THE PROPOSAL

THE RULES!!!

.. UPS and DOWNS ..

.... break ....

exhausted+MISSING

LOVE ???

Michael

its for you, FRIEND....

ABDI

> weekend >

i'm INNOCENT

Having FUN!!!

.. I'm Back!!! ..

... shOcking event!! ...

... exam 1>> JAPANESE ...

... Happy 20th Birthday!!!!...

... u used to ...

... TRAINER or MOTIVATOR?? ...

... move on ...

... Do You Agree??? ...

... 12th of APRIL>> crazy day!! ...

... PUBLIC SPEAKING AND MIMI!!! ...

.. 11th April 2009..

????

sunday morning

i have a PRIVACY concern

BEDRIDDEN *

Jan 4 2010

HELLO 2010!!!